Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Volunteer Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question “Why?” At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn’t really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don’t speak these people’s language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn’t tell a joke, and you never “got” any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn’t appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

@mamacita

Friends, we have tornado sirens going off here in North Alabama. So much I want to say to you and hopefully we will be ok and back online tomorrow. Keep the faith and stay srong.
Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita and all in the path of the nasty weather – Please be safe. Check in with us later, so we know everyone is okay. We care!
Ginger

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@mamacita

Friends, we have tornado sirens going off here in North Alabama. So much I want to say to you and hopefully we will be ok and back online tomorrow. Keep the faith and stay srong.
Love and light,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita Be safe prayers coming to Alabama

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@lioness and @gingerw 😊😊we have an all clear. We had a few tense moments. But we are alright. There were multiple injuries, and a couple lost their lives. We will know more in the morning. We are so thankful to have made it through. And so sad for those who have suffered such great loss.

Stay safe, everyone.

Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita Glad to hear thanks for letting me know

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@mamacita

@lioness and @gingerw 😊😊we have an all clear. We had a few tense moments. But we are alright. There were multiple injuries, and a couple lost their lives. We will know more in the morning. We are so thankful to have made it through. And so sad for those who have suffered such great loss.

Stay safe, everyone.

Mamacita Jane

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That is so sad for those who have suffered such loss, @mamacita, especially their lives. Wow. That is sobering. Glad you have made it through.

Catching up with you about your daughter, Mamacita, it sounds as though you have very wisely – and in all protection for you and your husband, your grandson who lives with you and even ultimately her best interests – set some boundaries. I can only imagine that is hard to do, yet you know in your gut that it's for the best for all involved.

The story of your grandson wanting to go buy a Christmas card for his other grandmother who hasn't seen him in 2 years and stick it in her door is absolutely heartbreaking. You surely are doing much good in his life to be seeing such sweetness, and when he knows it potentially may not be reciprocated.

Did your daughter go stay with her other friend?

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@lisalucier

That is so sad for those who have suffered such loss, @mamacita, especially their lives. Wow. That is sobering. Glad you have made it through.

Catching up with you about your daughter, Mamacita, it sounds as though you have very wisely – and in all protection for you and your husband, your grandson who lives with you and even ultimately her best interests – set some boundaries. I can only imagine that is hard to do, yet you know in your gut that it's for the best for all involved.

The story of your grandson wanting to go buy a Christmas card for his other grandmother who hasn't seen him in 2 years and stick it in her door is absolutely heartbreaking. You surely are doing much good in his life to be seeing such sweetness, and when he knows it potentially may not be reciprocated.

Did your daughter go stay with her other friend?

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@Lisa Lucier, my daughter is still at the home of her friend who off and on threatens to kick her out. It is a precarious situation.

My Grandson picked out a beautiful card for Grammy. He told me that he just hoped she was doing ok. That He was a bit worried about her. We don't even know if his father is still alive.

Last we heard he was living with Grammy. I don't understand how anyone could live with themselves, not seeing that beautiful child and never spending time with him. He is so kind, funny, smart, and sweet.

All of this has had its effect on my Grandson. He does not like to go out and be around a lot of people. I wish people would think before they speak, and not ask questions about who he "belongs to." I think it tears him apart to be discussed every time he meets someone new. And even people we know and love will ask us "How is Lindsey doing?" (Fake name)

Oh, she's still a recovering drug addict, and has permanent cognitive impairment in the area of judgement, thanks for asking.

How is she doing? She is totally disabled and dependent on others for almost everything.

I think Papa and I have some work to do. There has to be a way to make things better for our Grandson. If we cannot change other people, then we must change what we can in our own day to day experiences .

@lisalucier, thank you for your compassion. You have helped me to see things in a different light.

Love and cyberhugs,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita

@Lisa Lucier, my daughter is still at the home of her friend who off and on threatens to kick her out. It is a precarious situation.

My Grandson picked out a beautiful card for Grammy. He told me that he just hoped she was doing ok. That He was a bit worried about her. We don't even know if his father is still alive.

Last we heard he was living with Grammy. I don't understand how anyone could live with themselves, not seeing that beautiful child and never spending time with him. He is so kind, funny, smart, and sweet.

All of this has had its effect on my Grandson. He does not like to go out and be around a lot of people. I wish people would think before they speak, and not ask questions about who he "belongs to." I think it tears him apart to be discussed every time he meets someone new. And even people we know and love will ask us "How is Lindsey doing?" (Fake name)

Oh, she's still a recovering drug addict, and has permanent cognitive impairment in the area of judgement, thanks for asking.

How is she doing? She is totally disabled and dependent on others for almost everything.

I think Papa and I have some work to do. There has to be a way to make things better for our Grandson. If we cannot change other people, then we must change what we can in our own day to day experiences .

@lisalucier, thank you for your compassion. You have helped me to see things in a different light.

Love and cyberhugs,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita As I was reading your post, the last of ABC's Good Morning America was airing. Andy Grammer was singing this song, and the words simply struck me as appropriate for your situation. The words are powerful and brought up strong emotions in me. May you experience the love and support you give so freely to those in your circle, returned to you this year.

Ginger

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Hi all, we opened a new group dedicated to autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Whether you’re an autie yourself, a parent or caregiver, or simply someone trying to get some answers, I invite you join me in creating a safe, welcoming place to talk about autism from toddlers to seniors. +Follow the new group (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/autism/) and join the discussions.

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@lisalucier

Hi all, we opened a new group dedicated to autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Whether you’re an autie yourself, a parent or caregiver, or simply someone trying to get some answers, I invite you join me in creating a safe, welcoming place to talk about autism from toddlers to seniors. +Follow the new group (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/autism/) and join the discussions.

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Is this replacing the current group or in addition?

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@auntieoakley

Is this replacing the current group or in addition?

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Good question, @auntieoakley. The Adults On The Autism Spectrum discussion thread was originally a discussion within the Mental Health group. As the discussion grew as well as members, it was time to move this discussion and others into a space of their own dedicated to Autism.

– Click this link to see the Autism group "home" page and the complete list of discussions https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/autism/
– (Re)-Introduce yourself in this discussion https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/meet-others-living-with-autism-come-say-hi/
– Start a new discussion any time you'd like to talk about something in particular

Make sense?

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So you moved this discussion, but did you replace it? Sorry, I don’t mean to be obtuse.

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@auntieoakley

So you moved this discussion, but did you replace it? Sorry, I don’t mean to be obtuse.

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It's still here, just now part of a larger new Autism group with multiple discussions on different topics related to autism.

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@lisalucier

It's still here, just now part of a larger new Autism group with multiple discussions on different topics related to autism.

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Thank you

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@windwalker

@mamacita Hi Jane! I have recently learned that my boyfriend/husband of 23 yrs is also on the autism spectrum. I really wish he had told me this all those years ago. Our lives would have gone much smoother had I known. I have been reading about it and now have so much more patience with him. His obsession with numbers and facts all makes sense to me now. His black & white logic makes sense to me now. His fear of change used to drive me nuts. Now that I know, I speak to him in more direct terms and that has helped a lot. He gets less agitated that way. He now has some kind of dementia creeping up. We suspect it could arterial dementia. He is displaying the same signs as his mother who had that. We are downsizing and trying to simplify our lives in order to handle things easier. Jane, the things you post are invaluable to many, including me. I hope the upcoming holidays go smoothly for you. Hugs!

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Hi, @windwalker – that truly is a big revelation that your boyfriend/husband is on the autism spectrum. If you are comfortable sharing, how did this come out?

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@gingerw

@mamacita As I was reading your post, the last of ABC's Good Morning America was airing. Andy Grammer was singing this song, and the words simply struck me as appropriate for your situation. The words are powerful and brought up strong emotions in me. May you experience the love and support you give so freely to those in your circle, returned to you this year.

Ginger

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@gingerw ….you touched my heart from across the miles with this song. I checked the mail box. No one has sent him a card in return. I'm so done. So over it I'm going to live my life with joy and purpose and be happy without rhem. It's their loss . Truly sad. But I think I have done everything I could.

True example of "we are better together. "

Thank you,

Mamacita Jane

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