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Adults On The Autism Spectrum
Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!
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@mamacita When it rains, it pours sometimes, right? All the stress and hyper-aware situations you've been under recently no doubt played a part. Deep calming breaths. Hot cuppa tea at hand and cyber hugs from your friends headed your way. Together we are mighty, and mighty supportive of you!
Ginger
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5 ReactionsOh, @mamacita, I am sorry to hear of a new health issue. You do have my prayers and good wishes for a reprieve from pain.
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3 Reactions@mamacita Oh no so sorry to hear this prayers coming your way
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3 ReactionsAutism and I go way back. As far as I can remember. And I can remember as far back as my infancy. Can any of you Auties remember before you were a year old? I would love to have you tell us your story.
Steps. So many steps. And Neurotypical people wonder why we Auties burn out, seem antisocial, and have melt downs. My youngest daughter, who just had a baby a month ago, was explaining all she had to do in order to prepare for the baby. The list went on and on. I was tired before she finished. "So many steps!"
I couldn't help but think about how ironic that statement was. She was explaining my life, everyday, with that statement. And she is not Autistic. She is ADHD, and does have a few traits from her beloved Mama. That is to be expected, of course. Everything I do, every day of my life has so many steps. It is exhausting.
Learning how to present as Neurotypical in this society is exhausting to us Auties. We hate small talk yet we must learn a bit about it or we are perceived rude and uncaring everywhere we go. That's just the way life is.
Some situations can be life threatening, if not approached properly. Witness the shootings of persons who could not follow a police officer's directions. Delays in language or auditory processing, can appear to be defiance and endangerment to an untrained law enforcer's eye. The end result can be deadly.
My challenge today is to simply show up at an ER and present my shingles, which advanced precariously close to my eyeball during the night. The eyelid itself is red, my cornea is scratchy, and it looks a bit red in certain areas. I want to be proactive and go ahead and go before it gets any worse. That's what the nurse practitioner told me to do. Go at the first sign of irritation on the cornea.
Going to the emergency room is like going to the police station to me. I feel intimidated. I feel like they have all the power over me. And if I make one mistake they will throw the book at me. I feel judged. But I have learned so much from all of you. I have been encouraged to be strong, and to do self care. I have been told that I am good enough, that I am worthy, that there is a greater purpose going on here and I am part of it.
I feel loved and supported. I feel like I have friends and family here. It gives me hope that I can slay the dragons in my path. You all are amazing. And if I can ever do anything for you, I'm your girl. Can I ask you for responses about this dissertation? Do any of you have major concerns about going to the ER? Please let me know.
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4 Reactions@mamacita
As you go forth to the ER, be strong and of good courage! Your Connect Team is behind you.
Whether Autie or not, we all have fears of the ER Department. Mostly about not being taken seriously and treated for the problem we came in with.
I enjoyed reading your dissertation, you made some great points about how difficult it is to respond to the world around us. I suppose we all have those difficulties to some extent, but I can see how Auties have it to a greater degree.
You've made me aware of the differences and when someone doesn't respond to my "small talk" or to me personally, I'll work at not taking it personally. Perhaps they are just not sure how to respond.
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3 Reactions@mamacita I hope this finds you feeling better and that your trip to the ER was uneventful. Going to an ER without any problem can be exasperating and very tension-filled. When you feel less than good and having trouble seeing or concentrating it can just be downright scary. Good for you for expressing your concerns, as it seems to help "take the wind out of their sails" and lessens the powerful grip those feelings can bring to you.
Being an autie in a neurotypical world, for me, means putting on a mask for a while, playing like you "belong", acting as if. The 12-step phrase of fake-it-til-you-make-it comes to mind. It is exhausting, and an outing is followed, for me anyway, by a period of quiet and rest. Recharging my batteries that get seriously depleted with a lot of interaction is critical. You asked if we recall infancy. Yes, I recall back to about 1.5 yrs old, maybe a bit younger. My dad corroborated my memories. I could describe the house we lived in, and another house where there is a vivid memory. The family was preparing to leave for an outing, but I refused to go, saying there was a fire in the house. My mother was real ticked. My dad found an unattended cigarette she had left, that probably would have caused a big problem. I learned to trust my instincts then.
Please take care, our cyber-friend. We care about you. Gentle hugs as we go,
Ginger
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2 Reactions@gingerw Hi Ginger! I’m not on the autism specter (i hope I said that correctly) but I searched for you and this is where I ended up. I’m admitting it-I’m sliding down into that black hole of depression and I need help. I read the instructions for sending someone a private message . It tsaid after you are brought to member’s profile page to click “send private msg”, which of course, was not on my screen. So here I am. I have so many physical things going wrong and all my friends are back where I used to live. I live with my younger brother and the relationship is horrible. I can’t get my strength back from my recent hospital stay. I’m having panic attacks, but running quickly out of medicine, for which I’ll have to go to dr to refill( more $) which we don’t have. My brother lost his job and works part time-he supports me as I am on disability. I’ve been the soc serv route and the waiting lists here are at least 1 year. I don’t know where we’re going to live, as we have no relatives. I can’t go through this with my physical problems as well as mental ones......Karen
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4 Reactions@karen00 I am saddened to hear you continue to battle with your physical and now emotional challenges. Let your doctor know you are not bouncing back and he/she may be able to explain some things to you. Can you talk to your doctor about getting samples of the medication he put you on, or contact the manufacturer and plead your case? Also, try reaching out to your faith community for a helping hand up out of the hole you are in right now. Can your brother check with your landlord and trade services for rent, that is like handyman things? Bartering has been used for generations as a means of commerce.
Ginger
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5 Reactions@mamacita The world can oft be an overwhelming experience.
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4 Reactionsbear hugs mamacita i lubs you and so so sorries that you have to acquire shingles ontop of fibromyalgia and its so bloody unfair as well as being a felloww autistic . lubs and cuddles you dear mamacita and lubs
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