Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question “Why?” At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn’t really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don’t speak these people’s language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn’t tell a joke, and you never “got” any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn’t appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

@mamacita

I'll be good. I promise.

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lubs you I have a black belt in Origami and can fold you into small creases

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@mamacita

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor,
Can I adopt you?
Your words are like a soothing balm to my raggedy old soul. I have been in Autistic Burn Out for quite some time. My brother John tried to warn me. He kept telling me to slow down, when ALL I could do was advocate, pray, cry, and cry again.

All the feels. The heartbreak, sadness, turmoil, rejection, of masses fell upon me. And I grieved for them. I felt….what….they…felt.
And I gave them what I needed when I was in their shoes. I will never stop as long as I have breath.

Yet somehow I must learn to release all of that energy so that it does not consume me. My blood pressure was stroke level last week. All because I had to meet and be interviewed by a new counselor I had never met before, in a place I had never been before. I felt like an insect under a microscope. I was terrified.

Yet somehow I had to "mask" enough to get through the interview, because I was beginning to believe that my unmedicated ADHD was the root cause of my meltdowns. The crying at commercials. The nightmares. The loneliness. The depression. I had to see a Psychiatrist in order to be properly treated. My PCP was concerned for me. Was this some type of mood disorder?

I'm too old for all of this. Whatever is at the bottom of this, I surrender. I give up. I'll take the labels, if that's what it takes to feel better. To get better. To BE better. I am not used to putting myself first and it is uncomfortable. Maybe I will have to go on a different med for ADHD. One that won't raise my blood pressure.

Autism in women is not a " thing" here in the South. That one thing right there is enough of a challenge to deal with. I have hope, though. She is Native American, and her office was so welcoming and soothing. She even had a therapy dog. She appears to be open minded, open to Alternative Medicine. I hope she is open minded. I haven t had to prove I was Autistic in a long time.

Thanks for letting me lean on you guys a little bit. This doesn't get any easier.

Love and light, always, my loves,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita I am sending this to you while I am on the road at this training conference. Today is the last day but it will be fully packed with things and I haven't even had time to get onto Mayo Connect all week. I have sorely missed it. It will take me many days once I get home to go through everything and see what has been happening in people's lives. But I do know that your words have touched me deeply Mamacita. To be and autistic in this group of 155 people is really difficult for me. I stood up for myself and advocated which is so unusual. I had to give myself a pat on the back because of course no one else was there to. Assured my semi sanity by making sure that I am sitting in the front row, on an aisle, so I can escape if I need to. There is no one in front of me so that my focus can be almost entirely on the training. This has helped me a lot these last few days. There will be more to come when I get home and can go through things, but for now I wanted to say that I sorely miss all of you. I want everyone to know that I'm here for you. I have to go get breakfast and get into class, it's only 6 a.m.
Ginger

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@gingerw

@mamacita I am sending this to you while I am on the road at this training conference. Today is the last day but it will be fully packed with things and I haven't even had time to get onto Mayo Connect all week. I have sorely missed it. It will take me many days once I get home to go through everything and see what has been happening in people's lives. But I do know that your words have touched me deeply Mamacita. To be and autistic in this group of 155 people is really difficult for me. I stood up for myself and advocated which is so unusual. I had to give myself a pat on the back because of course no one else was there to. Assured my semi sanity by making sure that I am sitting in the front row, on an aisle, so I can escape if I need to. There is no one in front of me so that my focus can be almost entirely on the training. This has helped me a lot these last few days. There will be more to come when I get home and can go through things, but for now I wanted to say that I sorely miss all of you. I want everyone to know that I'm here for you. I have to go get breakfast and get into class, it's only 6 a.m.
Ginger

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Hello @gingerw, It is good to hear from you. Let me join you in that "pat on the back." Glad to hear that you found a good location to sit and focus on the training. Keep taking care of yourself and know that we miss you too!

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@gingerw

@mamacita I am sending this to you while I am on the road at this training conference. Today is the last day but it will be fully packed with things and I haven't even had time to get onto Mayo Connect all week. I have sorely missed it. It will take me many days once I get home to go through everything and see what has been happening in people's lives. But I do know that your words have touched me deeply Mamacita. To be and autistic in this group of 155 people is really difficult for me. I stood up for myself and advocated which is so unusual. I had to give myself a pat on the back because of course no one else was there to. Assured my semi sanity by making sure that I am sitting in the front row, on an aisle, so I can escape if I need to. There is no one in front of me so that my focus can be almost entirely on the training. This has helped me a lot these last few days. There will be more to come when I get home and can go through things, but for now I wanted to say that I sorely miss all of you. I want everyone to know that I'm here for you. I have to go get breakfast and get into class, it's only 6 a.m.
Ginger

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@gingerw Glad to hear from you Glad your advocating for yourself Do what you know is right anxious to hear how your doing looking forward to your post

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@gingerw

@mamacita I am sending this to you while I am on the road at this training conference. Today is the last day but it will be fully packed with things and I haven't even had time to get onto Mayo Connect all week. I have sorely missed it. It will take me many days once I get home to go through everything and see what has been happening in people's lives. But I do know that your words have touched me deeply Mamacita. To be and autistic in this group of 155 people is really difficult for me. I stood up for myself and advocated which is so unusual. I had to give myself a pat on the back because of course no one else was there to. Assured my semi sanity by making sure that I am sitting in the front row, on an aisle, so I can escape if I need to. There is no one in front of me so that my focus can be almost entirely on the training. This has helped me a lot these last few days. There will be more to come when I get home and can go through things, but for now I wanted to say that I sorely miss all of you. I want everyone to know that I'm here for you. I have to go get breakfast and get into class, it's only 6 a.m.
Ginger

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Ginger, Volunteer Mentor,
Therei s a death mentality lurking in the shadows of our society.

If it is broken, we don't fix it. We kill it.

We deny It rights. We don't cover it's conditions with insurance coverage.

We dismiss it as untrainable. Unteachable.

We say there are not enough funds available to provide for it.

Because they do not learn the way We teach, we say they are unteachable.

We stop trying to help them because we don't get the results we think we should. As quickly as we think we should.

We search for a "cure" when it has been proven for quite some time now that Autism is a different operating system, beginning before birth.

We de-humanize and dismiss.

How many times did I use "it" before I began to bother you?

We get used to poor treatment of others and it doesn't take long before we don't expect any better.

This is why I am here.
This is why I am on socisl media every day.
This is why I advocate every time I step outside my door.

We are here for you. Good on you for self-advocating. You might be surprised to find more than a few Auties in attendance, they are just really intent on masking to fit in.

Love and light darling Ginger! Be safe and have a wonderful time!
Mamacita Jane

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Dearest ,probably should have issued a trigger warning,@lioness,

I know that on here I am always trying to be positive , upbeat, and encouraging…..

But have you looked at the news lately?

I suppose it depends on which news, when, where, and how often.

I personally have to distance myself. I cannot take a steady dose of the negative side of the effects of living in this world without sufficient support for Autistics, whether they be children or adults. It has come to the point where my health is affected by it. It is difficult to be 100% positive all the time in the face of stark reality.

My precious little Autie Grandson had THE best year in an inclusive kindergarten classroom. There were a few bumps in the road, but they were overcome. Everything I do, I do for him. He is always in the back of my mind. His Mommy, my youngest daughter, says I do too much. I take on too much. I AM too much.

And she is right.

Somehow I have to balance it all to the point that I know how to relax and take it easy. For my sake and for my family.

I know what to do.
It's just consistently doing it.

Guess that's where prayer and persistence come in.

Love you guys to the moon and back!

Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita Good morning My grandson is always in my mind. I moved from Pa.to help raise him his Mom @dad work full time so I for 6 years took care of him Now he is 11and can make his own way in the world but I'm here for him when he needs me
My son is going on a 3 week hike in Yosemite I'm worried about. I am going today for a back injection I fractured my back in 2005 , my whole left side is affected my nerves trapped by bone going into my legs so I too have alot of problems beside anxiety ,
We in Long Beach have an Autistic program for people here I'm sorry to be telling you all this and yes you are faced with alot I don't understand but my physical problems I have are pain everyday .Let's just be happy we are alive and don't watch the news I don't it's to depressing. In glad I'm at the end if my life not the beginning we can't help what is in the future for our loved ones so try not to worry,we can't do anything about it ,it is what it is

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@lioness

@mamacita Good morning My grandson is always in my mind. I moved from Pa.to help raise him his Mom @dad work full time so I for 6 years took care of him Now he is 11and can make his own way in the world but I'm here for him when he needs me
My son is going on a 3 week hike in Yosemite I'm worried about. I am going today for a back injection I fractured my back in 2005 , my whole left side is affected my nerves trapped by bone going into my legs so I too have alot of problems beside anxiety ,
We in Long Beach have an Autistic program for people here I'm sorry to be telling you all this and yes you are faced with alot I don't understand but my physical problems I have are pain everyday .Let's just be happy we are alive and don't watch the news I don't it's to depressing. In glad I'm at the end if my life not the beginning we can't help what is in the future for our loved ones so try not to worry,we can't do anything about it ,it is what it is

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Aww, dearest @lioness, I had to to back and read your post multiple times over the past two days. I appreciate your wise, kind words more than you know.

I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I can certainly empathize with you. I am in a Fibroflare, and all my joints and nerves are giving me the level of pain that I have grown accustomed to. I have been somewhat productive in spite of these awful condirions. And I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

I am really grateful for the life I have. Even with unrelenting pain, I can smile and keep going. Our human nature tells us there's always something new and good around the corner. If we indeed look for the good, we will find it.

Speaking of good, Mayo Clinic is. Good. I have recommended them multiple times this week in person and online. I will not hesitate to go to the local (4hours away) Mayo Clinic Campus in Jacksonville Florida, if my latest meds do not work out.

Thank you for your valuable time and your kindness. I look forward to meeting you in person one day! Until then,
Adios,
Mamacita

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@mamacita

Aww, dearest @lioness, I had to to back and read your post multiple times over the past two days. I appreciate your wise, kind words more than you know.

I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I can certainly empathize with you. I am in a Fibroflare, and all my joints and nerves are giving me the level of pain that I have grown accustomed to. I have been somewhat productive in spite of these awful condirions. And I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

I am really grateful for the life I have. Even with unrelenting pain, I can smile and keep going. Our human nature tells us there's always something new and good around the corner. If we indeed look for the good, we will find it.

Speaking of good, Mayo Clinic is. Good. I have recommended them multiple times this week in person and online. I will not hesitate to go to the local (4hours away) Mayo Clinic Campus in Jacksonville Florida, if my latest meds do not work out.

Thank you for your valuable time and your kindness. I look forward to meeting you in person one day! Until then,
Adios,
Mamacita

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@mamacita I'm so glad to hear from you I wasn't sure how you would accept my post. We just have to life each day as if it's our last that's what I try to do Do you take Magnesium for your fibro? It's good for us 😊 we need more then others Have a good day

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Good Saturday morning everyone, and @lioness, yes indeed, I take a magnesium supplement every single day. Sometimes I will just soak in a hot tub doused with it and pretend I am on vacation at the beach!

The things we do to help our bodies get in line with what we believe inside ourselves.

What we hope for and believe in are often in opposition to what we see right in front of us.

Maybe that's why one of our Sacred readings tells us that "We walk by faith, not by sight "

I posted that on my social media page this morning. Mindfulness and faith, not necessarily in that order, help keep me grounded. My Autistic brain, incredibly, remembers twenty times more information in detail than a Neurotypical brain. I wake up every morning ruminating over the silliest things. So, I must redirect my though processes deliberately. Every single day. Not an easy task.

To all our Allies and Auties reading this, good on you! For getting up out of bed this morning. For remembering to take those vitamins. For deliberately choosing to focus on what you have accomplished already tosay.

Because, when you realize how much information we are bombarded with every day, just managing to get through it with a smile on our face a huge accomplishment.

Love yoursel, so that you can love your neighbor, as yourself. You have so many gifts to give to the world. You ARE a gift. And you are worth it.

Peace and love,

Mamacita

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@mamacita I love your words and so true you do have to love yourself before you can love others . We have to have our joy in living .

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@gingerwgingerw,
Good Monday to you!
Are you home from your seminar?
Did you bring us a souvenir?
Did you have fun?

Looking forward to your stories of your travels and interactions out in the real world. Anyone else taking a trip?

Share with us.
We would love to hear your stories.

Remember. We are better together.

Mamacita

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