Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question “Why?” At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn’t really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don’t speak these people’s language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn’t tell a joke, and you never “got” any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn’t appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

@mamacita

@teresa,hopeful33250 , getting ready to walk out the door to bare my soul to a complete stranger who quite possibly is at least one generation younger than me , is likely not trained very well in geriatric conditions, Autism in Adults,

And I am scared. You go in and tell the truth after baring your soul on page after page of forms listing your psychological and medical history, as well as that of your parents and close relatives.

On paper, I look like a train wreck.

On paper, I should not be the hopeful, happy, joyful person I am.

On paper, I have physical conditions going all the way back to childhood trauma that should have killed me long ago.

But I'm still here.

They asked me on paper one of the hardest questions I have ever had to answer.

"When did you first experience suicidal ideation and what were your plans?"

What will they think if me when I have to explain that I had to be between 2 and 4 years old….

What will they think of me when I have to explain that I bonded as an infant to my nanny who they had to let go when I was a year old?

How will they look at me, what will they write down in that paper in front of them, when I say that my mother was so very ill, she didn't want me and could not be a mother to me? What will they think about me…..when I tell them I have overcome so much? But not without help.

I just don't know. I just know I have to make a start, to protect my health and do the proper self care needed to live my best life. An abundant life.

Coffee first. Then I'm off.
Say a prayer. Send positive vibes and all the positive energy you can my way.

I appreciate it. Love and light to every one of you, my Autists and Allies. You are amazing and I love each and every one of you for being here.

I feel so much better just talking with you.

Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita What this person should do and say is, "You're amazing, You're such an example of how strong people can overcome negatives in their life. You're a shining presentation of how to use your situations as a stepping stone, and not a millstone. I want to help you feel and be the best you can and want to be." That's what this person should say, and we'll all line up to tell him/her just that! Sending gentle cyber hugs and uplifting prayers on wing.
Ginger

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Teresa,Ginger,John….everyone from Mayo Clinic Connect, and all our friends and allies, Auties and those who think they might be Autistic: greetings from the land of the living!

As many of you know, I recently had to get some of my meds changed around a bit so that I can be my best self. We are not done yet, by any stretch of the imagination. But it is progressing along, no doubt as it should .

I am being forced to slow down, rest, and relax. I even talk to myself in my own counselor voice, which gets kind of crazy, but at least I give good advice!

I could not resist that.

I want to make Mayo Clinic Connect my go to. From now on, when I get a moment and I feel like I need to check in to see what's going on lately, this is where I want to be.

It's hard for me to leave once I arrive. But I am sure we can work something out.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in with you guys. It is so hard for me to slow down and take it easy. But I have to, to keep my blood pressure from going sky high. I want to be around a long time.

You guys make life easier when the road is rough. I appreciate all the work you do to help others. Including this crazy old cat lady.

Talk to you later, loves.

Mamacita Jane

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Ginger, Volunteer Mentor,
Can I adopt you?
Your words are like a soothing balm to my raggedy old soul. I have been in Autistic Burn Out for quite some time. My brother John tried to warn me. He kept telling me to slow down, when ALL I could do was advocate, pray, cry, and cry again.

All the feels. The heartbreak, sadness, turmoil, rejection, of masses fell upon me. And I grieved for them. I felt….what….they…felt.
And I gave them what I needed when I was in their shoes. I will never stop as long as I have breath.

Yet somehow I must learn to release all of that energy so that it does not consume me. My blood pressure was stroke level last week. All because I had to meet and be interviewed by a new counselor I had never met before, in a place I had never been before. I felt like an insect under a microscope. I was terrified.

Yet somehow I had to "mask" enough to get through the interview, because I was beginning to believe that my unmedicated ADHD was the root cause of my meltdowns. The crying at commercials. The nightmares. The loneliness. The depression. I had to see a Psychiatrist in order to be properly treated. My PCP was concerned for me. Was this some type of mood disorder?

I'm too old for all of this. Whatever is at the bottom of this, I surrender. I give up. I'll take the labels, if that's what it takes to feel better. To get better. To BE better. I am not used to putting myself first and it is uncomfortable. Maybe I will have to go on a different med for ADHD. One that won't raise my blood pressure.

Autism in women is not a " thing" here in the South. That one thing right there is enough of a challenge to deal with. I have hope, though. She is Native American, and her office was so welcoming and soothing. She even had a therapy dog. She appears to be open minded, open to Alternative Medicine. I hope she is open minded. I haven t had to prove I was Autistic in a long time.

Thanks for letting me lean on you guys a little bit. This doesn't get any easier.

Love and light, always, my loves,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita

Ginger, Volunteer Mentor,
Can I adopt you?
Your words are like a soothing balm to my raggedy old soul. I have been in Autistic Burn Out for quite some time. My brother John tried to warn me. He kept telling me to slow down, when ALL I could do was advocate, pray, cry, and cry again.

All the feels. The heartbreak, sadness, turmoil, rejection, of masses fell upon me. And I grieved for them. I felt….what….they…felt.
And I gave them what I needed when I was in their shoes. I will never stop as long as I have breath.

Yet somehow I must learn to release all of that energy so that it does not consume me. My blood pressure was stroke level last week. All because I had to meet and be interviewed by a new counselor I had never met before, in a place I had never been before. I felt like an insect under a microscope. I was terrified.

Yet somehow I had to "mask" enough to get through the interview, because I was beginning to believe that my unmedicated ADHD was the root cause of my meltdowns. The crying at commercials. The nightmares. The loneliness. The depression. I had to see a Psychiatrist in order to be properly treated. My PCP was concerned for me. Was this some type of mood disorder?

I'm too old for all of this. Whatever is at the bottom of this, I surrender. I give up. I'll take the labels, if that's what it takes to feel better. To get better. To BE better. I am not used to putting myself first and it is uncomfortable. Maybe I will have to go on a different med for ADHD. One that won't raise my blood pressure.

Autism in women is not a " thing" here in the South. That one thing right there is enough of a challenge to deal with. I have hope, though. She is Native American, and her office was so welcoming and soothing. She even had a therapy dog. She appears to be open minded, open to Alternative Medicine. I hope she is open minded. I haven t had to prove I was Autistic in a long time.

Thanks for letting me lean on you guys a little bit. This doesn't get any easier.

Love and light, always, my loves,
Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita
Bless you, Jane! You've obviously been through some tough times and it has harmed you. I'm so sorry for the pain you have experienced! Please know that here on Connect you have a loving online family and we will always be here to cheer you on and to lift you up!

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@hopeful33250

@mamacita
Bless you, Jane! You've obviously been through some tough times and it has harmed you. I'm so sorry for the pain you have experienced! Please know that here on Connect you have a loving online family and we will always be here to cheer you on and to lift you up!

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I am so grateful to have a place where I can share what it really feels like to be an Autistic adult. Hopefully those reading all of this will see my dilemma and learn from my mistakes.

Autism is wonderful, exciting, and awesome.

It is also deep.places where you feel so alone. Left out in the cold. On the outside looking in.

I am not alone. The people who come here , whether they be Autistic or Allies, are as real as my new neighbor down the street. What I experience here translates into that big world outside my door.

That is a very big deal in the Autism Community. I hold my head up a little higher, my step is a little bouncier, and my heart is so much lighter, knowing all of you. You have no idea.

Mamacita Jane

REPLY
@mamacita

I am so grateful to have a place where I can share what it really feels like to be an Autistic adult. Hopefully those reading all of this will see my dilemma and learn from my mistakes.

Autism is wonderful, exciting, and awesome.

It is also deep.places where you feel so alone. Left out in the cold. On the outside looking in.

I am not alone. The people who come here , whether they be Autistic or Allies, are as real as my new neighbor down the street. What I experience here translates into that big world outside my door.

That is a very big deal in the Autism Community. I hold my head up a little higher, my step is a little bouncier, and my heart is so much lighter, knowing all of you. You have no idea.

Mamacita Jane

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@mamacita I am personally grateful that you allow us into your mind and thoughts, Jane! I've been blessed by your openness.

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@mamacita

I am so grateful to have a place where I can share what it really feels like to be an Autistic adult. Hopefully those reading all of this will see my dilemma and learn from my mistakes.

Autism is wonderful, exciting, and awesome.

It is also deep.places where you feel so alone. Left out in the cold. On the outside looking in.

I am not alone. The people who come here , whether they be Autistic or Allies, are as real as my new neighbor down the street. What I experience here translates into that big world outside my door.

That is a very big deal in the Autism Community. I hold my head up a little higher, my step is a little bouncier, and my heart is so much lighter, knowing all of you. You have no idea.

Mamacita Jane

Jump to this post

Mammacita I have growled at you for being a very very bad sister and ignoring your blood pressure and I am aware of the hassles of talking to a complete stranger in a doctor of what you have been thru feelings anxieties and behavioral have been there last September 2018 .when I tried to commit suicide and was toped and couldn't by a force .
To then talk to a psychiatrist was extraordinarily hard and all my feelings its hard but the joy having unburdened has been wonderful and people to actually listen too me .because I was even ignored and told to wrack off by supposed Autistic friends in Australia .dear dearest sis step back chat to us and says helloos medication take a while to get to a clinical level for your physiology .loves you and lubs you
by the way I will growls and mieows even louder if you don't rest and love yourself for awhile

REPLY
@mamacita

I am so grateful to have a place where I can share what it really feels like to be an Autistic adult. Hopefully those reading all of this will see my dilemma and learn from my mistakes.

Autism is wonderful, exciting, and awesome.

It is also deep.places where you feel so alone. Left out in the cold. On the outside looking in.

I am not alone. The people who come here , whether they be Autistic or Allies, are as real as my new neighbor down the street. What I experience here translates into that big world outside my door.

That is a very big deal in the Autism Community. I hold my head up a little higher, my step is a little bouncier, and my heart is so much lighter, knowing all of you. You have no idea.

Mamacita Jane

Jump to this post

@mamacita Stay strong roar like a lion We are all in your corner .It's hard at our age but when your down just look back at how far you have come This should make you realize I can overcome I will overcome

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@sirgalahad , @lioness, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Happy Taco Tuesday!

Or whatever it is that anyone celebrates today! For us, at our house, it is NCIS night. First, the original, at 7pm. Then at 9pm, NCIS New Orleans. With a house full of introverts, this is as close as we get to a family reunion.
Autistic burnout.
I haven't checked to see what the definition is. But I feel it. I am climbing out of it. Slowly but surely.

When everything is just too much.
Every.
Little.
Thing.
So much so that you want to do absolutely nothing.

But then when you do absolutely nothing, you become overwhelmed.
Because you feel intensely the sadness of it all.
It feels as if your life is just drifting away.

You need grounding.
You need good self care.
You need friends to love on you and remind you of your worth.
You need good food and music.
You need puppies to cuddle and birds singing.
You need space and time.
You need candles and flowers.
You need poetry and books.

For those who read this, know that you are loved. You are worth it. Take all the time you need.

Preaching to myself here!

Everyone have a restful weekend coming up. Lots of activities going on. Don't overdo it. Yes, I know it is only Tuesday.

But I get ready for the weekend starting on Saturday night!

Take good care, me lovelies. Enjoy today, whatever it brings you. Remember that you are a human being and not a human doing. What is in your heart is what counts.

Mamacita Jane

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@sirgalahad

Mammacita I have growled at you for being a very very bad sister and ignoring your blood pressure and I am aware of the hassles of talking to a complete stranger in a doctor of what you have been thru feelings anxieties and behavioral have been there last September 2018 .when I tried to commit suicide and was toped and couldn't by a force .
To then talk to a psychiatrist was extraordinarily hard and all my feelings its hard but the joy having unburdened has been wonderful and people to actually listen too me .because I was even ignored and told to wrack off by supposed Autistic friends in Australia .dear dearest sis step back chat to us and says helloos medication take a while to get to a clinical level for your physiology .loves you and lubs you
by the way I will growls and mieows even louder if you don't rest and love yourself for awhile

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I'll be good. I promise.

REPLY
@mamacita

@sirgalahad , @lioness, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Happy Taco Tuesday!

Or whatever it is that anyone celebrates today! For us, at our house, it is NCIS night. First, the original, at 7pm. Then at 9pm, NCIS New Orleans. With a house full of introverts, this is as close as we get to a family reunion.
Autistic burnout.
I haven't checked to see what the definition is. But I feel it. I am climbing out of it. Slowly but surely.

When everything is just too much.
Every.
Little.
Thing.
So much so that you want to do absolutely nothing.

But then when you do absolutely nothing, you become overwhelmed.
Because you feel intensely the sadness of it all.
It feels as if your life is just drifting away.

You need grounding.
You need good self care.
You need friends to love on you and remind you of your worth.
You need good food and music.
You need puppies to cuddle and birds singing.
You need space and time.
You need candles and flowers.
You need poetry and books.

For those who read this, know that you are loved. You are worth it. Take all the time you need.

Preaching to myself here!

Everyone have a restful weekend coming up. Lots of activities going on. Don't overdo it. Yes, I know it is only Tuesday.

But I get ready for the weekend starting on Saturday night!

Take good care, me lovelies. Enjoy today, whatever it brings you. Remember that you are a human being and not a human doing. What is in your heart is what counts.

Mamacita Jane

Jump to this post

@mamacita Thanks for your words At times I have to just chill John talked about extrovert,introvert people This fits me for sure

REPLY
@mamacita

@sirgalahad , @lioness, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, Happy Taco Tuesday!

Or whatever it is that anyone celebrates today! For us, at our house, it is NCIS night. First, the original, at 7pm. Then at 9pm, NCIS New Orleans. With a house full of introverts, this is as close as we get to a family reunion.
Autistic burnout.
I haven't checked to see what the definition is. But I feel it. I am climbing out of it. Slowly but surely.

When everything is just too much.
Every.
Little.
Thing.
So much so that you want to do absolutely nothing.

But then when you do absolutely nothing, you become overwhelmed.
Because you feel intensely the sadness of it all.
It feels as if your life is just drifting away.

You need grounding.
You need good self care.
You need friends to love on you and remind you of your worth.
You need good food and music.
You need puppies to cuddle and birds singing.
You need space and time.
You need candles and flowers.
You need poetry and books.

For those who read this, know that you are loved. You are worth it. Take all the time you need.

Preaching to myself here!

Everyone have a restful weekend coming up. Lots of activities going on. Don't overdo it. Yes, I know it is only Tuesday.

But I get ready for the weekend starting on Saturday night!

Take good care, me lovelies. Enjoy today, whatever it brings you. Remember that you are a human being and not a human doing. What is in your heart is what counts.

Mamacita Jane

Jump to this post

@mamacita

I promise to remember to be a "human being and not a human doing." Just a good reminder, Jane!

By the way, NCIS is a favorite of mine as well!

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