Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Volunteer Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question “Why?” At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn’t really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don’t speak these people’s language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn’t tell a joke, and you never “got” any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn’t appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

@hopeful33250 , Wow. This is great information. I know what this girl is going to be studying tomorrow. I had no idea. Inertia. Going to look that up and see what I can find. I just know that I sometimes need a boost to get started or a break in order to keep going. It's as if my brain is visualizing all the steps needed to perform any given task. And there are so many! Lots of people on the Spectrum find it difficult to perform mundane, routine tasks. It's like, "I've done this already, once before. I get it. So why do I have to do it again?" Masking requires tons of energy. When I return home from a group, I am exhausted. I might sleep for four hours. Wake up, stay up, for several hours, then go to sleep. Wake up exhausted. Thank you for your resesrch!

@mamacita

I'm not sure I understand it, but if it rings a bell for you, that is great! I'm glad I could help.

Teresa

@hopeful33250

@mamacita

I'm not sure I understand it, but if it rings a bell for you, that is great! I'm glad I could help.

Teresa

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its executive functions and we like doing routine stuff and get thrown by immediate changes or demands

@mamacita

@johnbishop, Have you ever heard of the term that refers to when an Autie is totally innervated, still, and cannot manage to do a thing? It's not catatonic or coma. The name escapes me. I saw it recently in one of my groups. Guess I will have to go back to those groups and pursue it further. Or, if anyone on here has a clue, please pass it on. I would like for us to address it for a bit. This is something that has to be dealt with on a fairly regular basis. I would appreciate any comments of a respectful nature. I will start by saying that for me, large blocks of unstructured time are ripe for emotional disaster. And guess what today is? Sunday! I have only two or three things at the most that HAVE to be done. So, this morning, I was the poster child for whatever the word is. I sat there on the sofa, waiting for the dark cloud to lift. It didn't. But my husband, God bless him, made a comment about my finishing a project I started. …..a while ago. Well, that made me mad. Doesn't he know how I feel? No, actually, he doesn't. And I'm not going to tell him, either. Not until I figure this out. I did get up off the sofa and worked a lot on several projects. I do feel better. The sun is shining again.

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loss of executive functioning cannot make a descion or is stuck

@mamacita

@johnbishop, Have you ever heard of the term that refers to when an Autie is totally innervated, still, and cannot manage to do a thing? It's not catatonic or coma. The name escapes me. I saw it recently in one of my groups. Guess I will have to go back to those groups and pursue it further. Or, if anyone on here has a clue, please pass it on. I would like for us to address it for a bit. This is something that has to be dealt with on a fairly regular basis. I would appreciate any comments of a respectful nature. I will start by saying that for me, large blocks of unstructured time are ripe for emotional disaster. And guess what today is? Sunday! I have only two or three things at the most that HAVE to be done. So, this morning, I was the poster child for whatever the word is. I sat there on the sofa, waiting for the dark cloud to lift. It didn't. But my husband, God bless him, made a comment about my finishing a project I started. …..a while ago. Well, that made me mad. Doesn't he know how I feel? No, actually, he doesn't. And I'm not going to tell him, either. Not until I figure this out. I did get up off the sofa and worked a lot on several projects. I do feel better. The sun is shining again.

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@sirgalahad , exactly! Feeling stuck. Immobile.

@hopeful33250

@mamacita

I'm not sure I understand it, but if it rings a bell for you, that is great! I'm glad I could help.

Teresa

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@sirgalahad , structure. Comfortable patterns. Routines. No surprises.

I just read all the posts on this thread. I have been diagnosed as on the Spectrum. When I was working, many times I was "written up" by supervisors who said my work was great, and knowledge of the subjects was outstanding, but "couldn't get along with people, and refused to be sociable". Sheesh! My reply was always, "you hired me to do a job, not be friends with everyone." They said I didn't smile enough. It's been that story all my life. When I finally had the diagnosis, I thought about forcing my employer to acknowledge it, and bring a complaint under ADA. But realized I didn't really want to go through all the hassle. So, everyday I am gentle on myself, and seek to honor my thoughts and feelings. Mamacita wrote about "Thinking in Pictures" by Temple Grandin. She is an amazing person, and I always have done just that, which allows me to relate to animals in a special way, horses in particular.

Looking forward to being here!

Hello @gingerw

I am so glad that you have made peace with yourself – I only wish we all could do that – both those on the Spectrum and neurotypicals!

As you have said, I am so glad that you have chosen to "everyday I am gentle on myself, and seek to honor my thoughts and feelings."

A good goal for everyone today!

Teresa

@gingerw

I just read all the posts on this thread. I have been diagnosed as on the Spectrum. When I was working, many times I was "written up" by supervisors who said my work was great, and knowledge of the subjects was outstanding, but "couldn't get along with people, and refused to be sociable". Sheesh! My reply was always, "you hired me to do a job, not be friends with everyone." They said I didn't smile enough. It's been that story all my life. When I finally had the diagnosis, I thought about forcing my employer to acknowledge it, and bring a complaint under ADA. But realized I didn't really want to go through all the hassle. So, everyday I am gentle on myself, and seek to honor my thoughts and feelings. Mamacita wrote about "Thinking in Pictures" by Temple Grandin. She is an amazing person, and I always have done just that, which allows me to relate to animals in a special way, horses in particular.

Looking forward to being here!

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@gingerw ,Welcome, welcome! I am so delighted to have you here! When I first started working, back when the dinosaurs roamed, I made so many mistakes. I was embarrassed so much of the time, because I didn't know how to play their games. I wasn't diagnosed, but I just knew I was very different. I wanted to be the best, but I kept flubbing up. Through the years I learned to mask better to fit in. Still didn't have a clue. Things are so much better now. I am so glad you have found some answers and that you are enjoying your life. It's great to just be who you really are. Hope to "talk" with you again soon!

@gingerw

I just read all the posts on this thread. I have been diagnosed as on the Spectrum. When I was working, many times I was "written up" by supervisors who said my work was great, and knowledge of the subjects was outstanding, but "couldn't get along with people, and refused to be sociable". Sheesh! My reply was always, "you hired me to do a job, not be friends with everyone." They said I didn't smile enough. It's been that story all my life. When I finally had the diagnosis, I thought about forcing my employer to acknowledge it, and bring a complaint under ADA. But realized I didn't really want to go through all the hassle. So, everyday I am gentle on myself, and seek to honor my thoughts and feelings. Mamacita wrote about "Thinking in Pictures" by Temple Grandin. She is an amazing person, and I always have done just that, which allows me to relate to animals in a special way, horses in particular.

Looking forward to being here!

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@mamacita, I always knew I was "different", even as a very young child. Being emotionally abused by my mother didn't help, but I realize she was dealing with life as best she could given her path. At the age of 65 now, my choices have never been mainstream, and most people are unsure how to interact with me. My work careers were in several fields, but I excelled working with animals, with numbers, and in the legal field. My energy is recharged when alone; crowds/groups make me uncomfortable. My senses are easily overloaded. My goal is to be of service to people, and make a difference, but on my terms ;)) I have several autoimmune issues, so fatigue is a faithful companion. No doubt we'll be "talking"

@gingerw

I just read all the posts on this thread. I have been diagnosed as on the Spectrum. When I was working, many times I was "written up" by supervisors who said my work was great, and knowledge of the subjects was outstanding, but "couldn't get along with people, and refused to be sociable". Sheesh! My reply was always, "you hired me to do a job, not be friends with everyone." They said I didn't smile enough. It's been that story all my life. When I finally had the diagnosis, I thought about forcing my employer to acknowledge it, and bring a complaint under ADA. But realized I didn't really want to go through all the hassle. So, everyday I am gentle on myself, and seek to honor my thoughts and feelings. Mamacita wrote about "Thinking in Pictures" by Temple Grandin. She is an amazing person, and I always have done just that, which allows me to relate to animals in a special way, horses in particular.

Looking forward to being here!

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@gingerw , your post could easily have been mine. I grew up under a haze of wanting to be a part of a community, a group. I would do just about anything to fit in. Now, I don't have to. Whether it is my age or my eccentricities, I am happier than I have ever been. I am so glad you have joined our conversations! Looking forward to hearing from you more in the future. Talk to you soon!

Hi, I know many of you have gotten to know @mamacita here in this discussion on adults on the autism spectrum. Today she is the subject of a Mayo Clinic Connect feature we call a "spotlight." https://connect.mayoclinic.org/newsfeed-post/feeling-a-little-alone-meet-mamacita/

I trust you will enjoy it.

Hello everyone. I have missed you all so much. I have,a confession to make. I am in so much pain I can barely function. As many of you know, I have Fibromyalgia. I am having so much pain right now, even with appropriate medication, I am hurting so badly I can barely grasp my phone to look at your posts. I am almost ready to try CBD oil without the "kick" to it. I have been thinking of some ideas for us to talk about here. There are some really great books out that I would like for us to review and give an opinion. I want to know what you are thinking. I want to hear what you think. About everything! Whether we disagree or agree, doesn't matter. The point is, we are here to talk. And share. We are a tribe. We are family. Just knowing that you are here makes me happy on a level where pain can't even go. Have a blessed day, my friends.

@mamacita

Hello everyone. I have missed you all so much. I have,a confession to make. I am in so much pain I can barely function. As many of you know, I have Fibromyalgia. I am having so much pain right now, even with appropriate medication, I am hurting so badly I can barely grasp my phone to look at your posts. I am almost ready to try CBD oil without the "kick" to it. I have been thinking of some ideas for us to talk about here. There are some really great books out that I would like for us to review and give an opinion. I want to know what you are thinking. I want to hear what you think. About everything! Whether we disagree or agree, doesn't matter. The point is, we are here to talk. And share. We are a tribe. We are family. Just knowing that you are here makes me happy on a level where pain can't even go. Have a blessed day, my friends.

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Thinking happy thoughts for you @mamacita. Hoping the pain gets off at the next exit and leaves you alone. We don't need no pain! I do sometimes need an attitude adjustment though. Hope the rest of your day is better!

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