Radiation therapy for vulvar cancer

@vsinn2000

Thanks for sharing that wonderful news, you must feel relieved! I'll be thinking about you as you go to Mayo on the 21st.

Please keep us posted as you can,

Teresa

Will do! I am amazingly relieved. I can't believe the difference it makes. Thank you!

I am terrified to do this exam under sedation tomorrow morning. I realize it is a diagnostic step that has to be taken but the anxiety over having it done is physically sickening. For me it's a violation of dignity I struggle with. The doctor not respecting my fears and pain and attempting to start the exam during the office visit was bad enough, and part of the reason I am going to Mayo. If they hadn't advised me to keep the apointment I would not. I am on the edge of lose control panic. That doctor undid years of progress for me and I actually flinched away from my husband when he put his hand on my hip. It makes me angry that he took that from me, and devastated my husband. He's done so much to help me overcome my fears and I flinched away from a simple gesture of comfort. I know it sounds irrational to anyone that hasn't been there. I can't help it. I really am afraid.
Thanks for giving me a place to voice my fears and know I won't be judged. It helps keep me from going over the edge, a bit.

@vsinn2000

My heart goes out to you, @vsinn2000. I am so sorry that you have to endure this type of diagnostic evaluation. For any of us who have been physically violated as a child, teen or adult, we understand the emotional ramifications of such medical procedures.

Do your best to take some deep breaths, do some tensing and relaxing of all of your muscle groups and realize that this will soon be over. If possible, put your mind in a safe place - a place with lovely scenery, something that soothes you.

Will you let us know how it goes after the procedure?

Teresa

Thanks Theresa. I've come to rely on your calming, sincere advice a lot the last few weeks. I am in the car, feels like I'm heading to my execution. Crying all the way. I'm gonna hang onto your kind, supportive words to get through this!
Hugs,
Vicky

@vsinn2000

Bless you Vicky!

Teresa

Hello Vicky, @vsinn2000

I've been thinking about you and yesterday's appointment. I hope that all went well.

Teresa

Hi Teresa,
As expected, I lived through it. Not without a boatload of panic and a whole lot of understanding from my husband and an absolutely amazing nurse and anesthesiologist. I can't remember the last time I actually trusted a hc worker. Yes, I can. November 2005. I suppose people have a hard time understanding the difference between seeing the doctor and trusting the doctor. It's a giant step, surrendering total control to someone. I can't make biofeedback work, not in a panic situation. I wish it would! I use it during a migraine or trying to sleep but anything where I'm amped up to panic it just won't work. I'm just exhausted now. Short naps when it just makes me feel wiped out. Tomorrow will be better. Seems like any test day and the next day are just bottom of the barrel kid of days.
Take care,
Vicky

Hi Teresa,
It's over anyway. More waiting. I'm learning there is a lot of that. I'll update you if they call me.
Vicky

Hi Vicky, @vsinn2000

I'm glad that it is over - the waiting game is such a tough game to play, isn't it?

I'm also pleased that you had such an amazing nurse and anesthesiologist, what a blessing that was for you! And of course, your husband was there to support you as well.

Rest well, Vicky, it takes me several days as well to recover from any type of anesthesia, so I understand the two days of sleepiness.

Teresa