Preparing to Age in Place

Posted by edsutton @edsutton, Apr 23 7:58am

Many of us in the Aging Well Support Group express similar concerns. We are currently doing o.k. in our homes, on our own, but recognize that disabilities may be on our horizons.
Can we be reasonably proactive about this?
What can we do to stay in our homes as long as possible?
What can we do to gracefully reach out for assistance when we need it?
What can we expect the costs will be as we try to imagine the economies of our lives as we age?
What modifications can we make now that will make life easier when we have less strength and energy?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@scottrl

A lot of good questions there.

I don't have answers for most of them, but here's one I learned the hard way when I became disabled by a stroke:
Your home can become a virtual minefield when your mobility is reduced.

Steps can become dangerous obstacles, going up or down.
Area rugs can slide out from under you.
Doorways can seem very narrow (especially if you need a wheelchair).
Even a sloped driveway can be a challenge. Inclines look a lot steeper when you can't walk well.
A bathtub can be very hard to get in and out of -- and be very treacherous to stand or sit in.
Reaching into cabinets or cupboards gets difficult (too high, too low, too deep).
Going to the bathroom can require additional handholds.
Furniture placed too close together becomes difficult to navigate around. And sharp edges...look out.
Lawn care -- who'll do that if you can't?

That may seem like a long list, but you probably don't have to deal with all of that.

Anyway, try to see your home through the eyes of someone who may need to use a cane, or be confined to a wheelchair. A whole different world.

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You make some excellent points! Thank you.

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I'm continuing with critical reorganizing of my office closet with the goal of effective aging-in-place. Here's what my closet is teaching me:

1) One of the dangers of aging in our homes is that we become curators of our lifetime collection of mementos and leftovers of past careers, hobbies, family events, etc. These passive leftovers take up space. The space of our homes becomes more and more occupied by this collection.

2) The space available for current active living is crowded and cramped by the passive collection.
Our identities may be caught up in our collection, but unless we have unlimited space we must make difficult judgements between our need for memorabilia and our need for ease of meeting our current needs.

3) These decisions can be exhausting and they are not going to get easier. In a time of illness they could exact a real cost of limited life energy.

4) For my office I want to discard things which I really don't need anymore and keep things which have a reasonable chance of being useful over the rest of my life. The ones I will need and use now should be as front, forward, available and easy to reach. I need to value easy-to-use space and avoid crowding.

So I'm still working on my closet and bookshelves. Three shopping bags of old papers are thrown out. Two file drawers are emptied and all file cabinets are easy to access. Now I need to reorganize the file drawers to best serve my current life needs.

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Two years ago my wife had a ruptured Achilles tendon at physical therapy, and I did some temporary adapting so she could get into the family room that's one step down - I would never have designed it that way - using the knee roller. Our doorways are barely wide enough for her in a wheelchair. I had to take the door off her bathroom. She only uses the bathtub, so I put a grab bar up and we added a grab bar that mounts to the edge of the tub.

We have accumulated a pretty good inventory of medical equipment, walkers, crutches, canes, toilet seat raisers, shower seat for the tub, walking boots, an assortment of braces, etc. I had to put some of those things to use when both of my Achilles tendons ruptured in December. Because I'm thin I can use a smaller wheelchair and make the turn from the hallway into my bathroom. My wife's bathroom is a straight shot at the end of the hallway, something to consider when planning a floor plan.

I was in a wheelchair for 3 months, so I found out that life was different. I had to move to the guest bedroom for better access to a bed. We would have to remove some furniture if I wanted to use the master bedroom from a wheelchair. We have 5 steps to climb to get in the house, so a neighbor who has just retired as a carpenter built a ramp for me. I've been anticipating the need for that for several years, so we knew where to put it. What he built is temporary, but I'll probably have him build a permanent one.

Closet - what a challenge! A chair won't roll into the walk in closet, and if it did, I'd only be able to reach the lower rod.

In the kitchen, I could reach the bottom shelf of the upper cabinets, but only because I have long arms. I washed dishes yesterday for the first time since Christmas. It was a stretch to reach the faucet, sitting in my walker. Last week I got a Nova 4224 rollater. It's higher than the standard issue, so I can reach more from it than from a wheelchair. It's sure handy for getting the dishes and food from the kitchen to the dining room.

In the bathroom I found that my medicine cabinet was inaccessible, so I lined up my meds next to the sink.

My study is equally inaccessible because of a file cabinet, and yes, @edsutton , that room needs attention. I like my books, but I rarely open any of them. I just admire them. I enjoy collecting old things, and I have a few antique sets of books I've never read.

My shop was closed to me until a few weeks ago when I could be partial weight bearing. Talk about collecting old things - I'm still in collecting mode. I have a hard time passing up old tools. I'm reaching the point when I need to learn how to sell things on eBay, or have a barn sale. I do use the tools, now that I can get into the shop again.

We're 73, and I enjoy putting 6+ hours a day working in the yard and gardens, but I don't know how many years I can maintain that schedule. I've been working toward lower maintenance, but I still have a ways to go.

So many things to consider as we age, or encounter new limitations. I'm looking at being handicapped for the rest of the year,. with two surgeries on my two Achilles tendons, then a knee replacement, then surgery to fuse my sub talar joint. It's going to be an interesting year.

Right now I need to go to bed. All of this old folks talk has worn me out. 🙂

Jim

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Jim!

Thank you for a valuable dose of reality as it may manifest at any time!

If I lose the long term ability to climb stairs I would have to convert my office into a bedroom/studio. And how would I make all those re-arrangements from a wheelchair?

Among our neighbors, one couple, nearly 90, are still very spry.
Another couple, early 80s, are mobile but short of energy due to chronic heart failure.
Two single women, one 75, one 65, are both semi-dependent on wheelchairs and have reduced living to the ground floors of their homes. One rents the upstairs to a friend.
A former neighbor who had Parkinson's disease arranged for a caretaker with child to live upstairs while he lived downstairs. (His house was the same plan as ours...yay!)

None of these neighbors lived such a book/instrument/tool/art supply intense life as you and I live. I can't expect a helper, friend or paid, to take the same kind of knowing care in rearranging my things as I would do on my own, so these are questions I must face while I have strength and energy.
If I need to condense downstairs in the future, it should be a fairly self-evident task, and if it never becomes necessary, more open space will make living and working easier.

Meanwhile: We need to keep learning from one another! We are the living experts on aging well. Let's keep on sharing! I'm grateful.

Ed

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@colleenyoung

@sirref, interesting concept. There are already "digital companion" type devices to help combat loneliness and provide companionship for people living on their own. But in light of @scottrl's comment about losing the ability to reach top shelves, I would opt for a taller robot. 🙂

Did you know that Mayo Clinic is a leader in Advance Care at Home? This is not solely for aging in place however:
- Mayo Clinic launches advanced care at home model of care https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/discussion/mayo-clinic-launches-advanced-care-at-home-model-of-care/

What measure are you taking to prepare to age in place? Do you want to?

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My husband passed away last year and I - am a 83 year old woman in pretty good health and with no problem driving - have been getting the same questions from family members and friends: Are you going to stay by yourself in your own home? My answer, for right now, is YES. My problem is that neither my children, nor other family members, live in my town. So I think I will move to their area when I need more help, physically or mentally.
BUT, I had an elderly neighbor once, and I had wished she would have moved earlier, when she was capable of making her own decisions instead of family making them for her. I knew she would have chosen differently.
So, I do have a will, I also let my kids know what my wishes are, and I pray that I will know what I need to do when the time comes. For right now, I feel safe here, have a good community, have a cleaning lady I like, and am in an already downsized townhome, with the bedroom downstairs and a walk-in shower. So far so good.
I do a lot of praying!

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@thisismarilynb

I am 89 years old and still living in my home and independent. What helped me to decide to stay in my home was visiting a couple of facilities that advertise independent living. I found the apartments were very small and that I would not be able to bring my own furniture and other things with me. The rents are not cheap either. So far I am managing with a cleaning helper who comes every three weeks and a gardener who comes every month. I am extremely fortunate to now have anything major wrong with me. I have a torn tendon in my right arm but it does not need surgery. This afternoon I go to physical therapy to make arrangements for 12 sessions. I do not need to take a bunch of drugs. This definitely helps. I can and do still drive so I do not need to depend on anyone to get me to where I need to be. At my age I cannot know how long I will be on this earth or if I will need any assisted living. But based on what I read about the costs, I believe it will be cheaper for me to hire my own assistants to come here where I am comfortable.

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As an 80-year-old female living independently in a rural area of Montana, I have also found it more affordable to hire those folks to do various chores for me that I used to do myself. I absolutely love my home and the critters that come to my property (deer, bears, foxes, ravens, etc.). I never want to leave and have slowly adjusted my living situation to meet my needs as I age.

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@thisismarilynb

I had hip replacement. During physical therapy I learned how to use a cane properly. You mentioned getting a cane. For it to help you, please learn how to use it correctly.

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Extremely important and good advice.
I actually purchased mine from a craftsman who made them from solid wood, Sold them at craft fairs.
He was careful to measure my stance & show me how to walk with it properly.
I get frustrated when I see folks struggling to walk with their cane, which is supposed to be helpful not burdensome.

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@thisismarilynb

I am 89 years old and still living in my home and independent. What helped me to decide to stay in my home was visiting a couple of facilities that advertise independent living. I found the apartments were very small and that I would not be able to bring my own furniture and other things with me. The rents are not cheap either. So far I am managing with a cleaning helper who comes every three weeks and a gardener who comes every month. I am extremely fortunate to now have anything major wrong with me. I have a torn tendon in my right arm but it does not need surgery. This afternoon I go to physical therapy to make arrangements for 12 sessions. I do not need to take a bunch of drugs. This definitely helps. I can and do still drive so I do not need to depend on anyone to get me to where I need to be. At my age I cannot know how long I will be on this earth or if I will need any assisted living. But based on what I read about the costs, I believe it will be cheaper for me to hire my own assistants to come here where I am comfortable.

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You sound so amazing and fortunate to have your health! I envy your ability to continue driving which I can no longer do.
I wish I could afford a regular gardener.... I lack the resources to hire help but am grateful to own a small, lo-maintenance home.
Good luck with your upcoming PT.

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Hi Everyone,
I’m still pretty new to this site. I wrote about independent living, but have no idea where I posted it, LOL.
New thoughts…. Am trying to stay as active as I can. Love my water aerobics, and was talked into buying a Fitbit when my kids realized I had isolated and wasn’t moving much during the pandemic. Was that an eye opener!
Am 83, have some old age issues, but am managing pretty well. I am not exactly an athlete, but I have always moved, am still walking almost daily, sometimes do just house walking, and am convinced that helps. Do a lot of stretching too.
I’m very familiar with Alzheimer’s, so I am staying mentally active also, trying anyway. Am taking piano lessons!
Hopefully all of this is helpful to make the right decisions when I need to make them.
God bless!

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@joybo99

You sound so amazing and fortunate to have your health! I envy your ability to continue driving which I can no longer do.
I wish I could afford a regular gardener.... I lack the resources to hire help but am grateful to own a small, lo-maintenance home.
Good luck with your upcoming PT.

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I am fairly confident that the reason I am so healthy and with it at my age is because I started racewalking in the mid 80's. I was working full-time and had a family to raise. Nevertheless I took my sweats to work and went to the track every evening after work to several laps. I did this until 2001. Then we moved and I didn't have a track, so I walked on the streets. I continued until my hip wore out and it had to be replaced. I am convinced that this helped me a lot in every way.
Had my evaluation yesterday and am booked for 12 sessions (2 a week) until it is all done. Need to do exercises at home as well.
When my husband retired he did not take 100% of his pension. With my working full-time and what he took in we were able to live well. Now I get the rest of the pension plus my Social Security. Together it is enough to be able to live in my home.

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