Preparing to Age in Place

Dear Fellow Agers-

Let’s tell the truth: This is a time of considerable worry for those of us whose life plans depend on Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, retirement savings and programs that help the elderly.
The future looks less predictable and we can’t be sure all our plans for aging well will survive intact.

Since the November election my mood has been “drifting,” and I know I’m not alone.
News of the last days tells me the changes happening aren’t just imaginary.
So when I look forward to aging in place I see many unanswered questions that can dampen my mood, and I don’t have answers to offer beyond “We will see what happens.”

But I do have a response to offer.
Our futures, whatever they become, will consist of the unbroken links of “Now,” stepping forward day-by-day, moment-by-moment.
We have the ability to shape the content and feelings of many of those moments.
We can be intentional and proactive in sustaining and building the joys that nurture our lives.
Doing this empowers us, and we need all the power we can muster!

Here are some of the things I’ve found to make my day as full as possible:
-Talking with my wife about grandkids; looking at grandkid photos together. Learning about the new town where they’re moving soon.
-Playing more music for sheer enjoyment.
-Grooming our dogs; teaching them new tricks; just playing and going for more walks.
-Joining our neighbors for play and visit time in the park.
-Reading articles and discussing them with my wife.
-Watching one historic TV drama each evening and learning about the historic background of the characters.
-Continuing my workshop projects and really enjoying my woodworking tools and skills. Loving beautiful pieces of wood!
-Shopping for really good produce and making simple meals that show them at their best.

O.K., you get the idea.
Today is the life we have.
We can make it the best day we can have, every day.
And this will make us strong.
Let's do this together.
Please share what makes you strong.

With love,
Ed

What a beautiful way to frame our current circumstances, trying to find joy in a world of fast moving change.
We are practicing gratitude that we enjoy and treasure the simple things in life, from a healthy meal, being out in nature or enjoying a good conversation with a friend. We are doing many of the same activities and taking up new ones such as board games and puzzles, all the while enjoying each other's company. We don't know how long we have and want to make the most of it.

Calling my representatives daily.

The intention is not to distract, the intention is to focus and strengthen our sense of self-worth at a time when that is increasingly needed.

Thank you, Ed, and others, for your uplifting messages.

I'm a caregiver for my mom, who has Alzheimer's, and a lot of the questions you're asking are things we've had to navigate. From my experience, simple things can make a huge difference.
We put in grab bars in the bathroom, added some brighter lighting, and cleared out clutter to make sure she is safe.

As for reaching out for help, that's a tough one. It's a journey of learning to accept that you can't do everything yourself anymore. We started with small things, like having a neighbour pick up groceries, and then gradually added more support. For example, we got her a JubileeTV box, which is a simple device that helps her connect to her family and friends. I can send her video messages and photos she can see on her TV, without having to use complicated commands. She can talk to me and my sister with a click of a button. Also, I can check in on her every time I want through the app on my phone. It helped her stay connected and feel more independent, even as her condition progresses.

What I've learned is that it is better to be proactive than wait for things to happen. The right technology and gadgets aren't a replacement for care, but can prolong the time before someone loses independence. And every day counts.

@bridgeback2 The jubileeTV box sounds very interesting! Do you have a website for it?

@becsbuddy It is very handy. I read their reviews before we got it, and many people claim it was such a change in their lives when they got it, so I had to try it out.
Of course, here is a link - https://getjubileetv.com/

My husband and I bought a pretty low cost home 12 years ago and spent quite a lot of money remodeling it. The suggestions I see here are spot on— we widened doorways, replaced the flooring, installed a walk-in shower and high toilet seats, bars in the shower and at the down step into the garage. Since then, my husband has become quite disabled and must use a walker all the time. This spring, I had a totally unexpected colostomy and decided to have hip replacement surgery. I am 82 and he is almost 79. Because we did the remodeling when we did, we are able to stay in our home. But. He is really not able to care for himself and is at risk of falling, and I am not physically in a place where I can help him the way I used to. For some amazing reason, 25 years ago, the university where I was working at the time offered the opportunity to purchase long term care insurance, and I did. We paid for it for about 25 years, and then 2 years ago were able to collect on my husband’s. The application process for benefits is foreboding, but we got though it, and he has been receiving in-home care for several hours a day during the week. After my colostomy, I applied for mine, and was approved, so we are now getting a lot of care that we absolutely could not have afforded without the insurance. At the time I bought it, it was relatively inexpensive because we were so much younger and the cost went up as we aged. But I hung in with the payments and I thank God that I did. Because I am hoping and planning to stay in our home safely as long as possible, and the physical adaptations and long term care insurance have made it possible. I guess my suggestion would be to plan ahead as early as you can because you never know what is down the road. Bette

@afklasen2024 No Y around here. But we do have good programs offered by City Parks & Rec. Sometimes it is hard to get to them.