Preparing to Age in Place

Posted by edsutton @edsutton, Apr 23 7:58am

Many of us in the Aging Well Support Group express similar concerns. We are currently doing o.k. in our homes, on our own, but recognize that disabilities may be on our horizons.
Can we be reasonably proactive about this?
What can we do to stay in our homes as long as possible?
What can we do to gracefully reach out for assistance when we need it?
What can we expect the costs will be as we try to imagine the economies of our lives as we age?
What modifications can we make now that will make life easier when we have less strength and energy?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@margotcc

My husband passed away last year and I - am a 83 year old woman in pretty good health and with no problem driving - have been getting the same questions from family members and friends: Are you going to stay by yourself in your own home? My answer, for right now, is YES. My problem is that neither my children, nor other family members, live in my town. So I think I will move to their area when I need more help, physically or mentally.
BUT, I had an elderly neighbor once, and I had wished she would have moved earlier, when she was capable of making her own decisions instead of family making them for her. I knew she would have chosen differently.
So, I do have a will, I also let my kids know what my wishes are, and I pray that I will know what I need to do when the time comes. For right now, I feel safe here, have a good community, have a cleaning lady I like, and am in an already downsized townhome, with the bedroom downstairs and a walk-in shower. So far so good.
I do a lot of praying!

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Greetings margotcc You said.
"For right now, I feel safe here, have a good community, have a cleaning lady I like, and am in an already downsized townhome, with the bedroom downstairs and a walk-in shower. So far, so good.I do a lot of praying! What I do not read on the many comments are the

You did a great job with your townhouse, and with good health many more
years of enjoying life.
The Big question is! It is one thing to age in place, but how is your health to age in place? You stated you are in good health, but do others know their CHA₂DS₂-VASc score do you know the CHA₂DS₂-VASc score?
As one age, AF/ arterial fibrillation increases along with stroke.

"So I think I will move to their area when I need more help, physically or mentally."

The problem is that you do not know when you will be ready to move until it is too late. Consider the time frame to locate a desirable location and the work involved in moving there. If you are physically unable due to any misfortune, your family will experience physical and mental stress.
Have a good one.
Ferris

REPLY
@sirref

This is off-topic.
You state a Great point.There are already "digital companion" type devices to help combat loneliness and provide companionship for people living on their own.

What do I think of these devices? Below are a few examples that recur in my readings.

The Pros are companionship, Availability 24/7 (if hardware, software, routers, or the internet is not broken or needs a reset), and Emotional support.

The cons are a lack of human connection and empathy, dependency and isolation, ethical and privacy concerns, and more privacy concerns, as well as unrealistic expectations. Commentaries on social media's dependency and isolation raise many alarms, and as AI is involved in the companionship of the lonely,
Many will forget that devices are only tools. Again, when lonely and isolated and family never calls or visits, one turns to an outlet that will not pass judgment on one's feelings and provide reassuring words/messages.

From Twitter: https://x.com/GFarrugiaMD/status/1778085115031097844

Dr. Gianrico Farrugia GFarrugiaMD CEO of Mayo active in the development ": Artificial Intelligence in Health, Health Care, and Biomedical Science: An AI Code of Conduct Principles and Commitments Discussion Draft"
·Apr 10 @theNAMedicine
The AI Code of Conduct initiative I am co-chairing has released an early framework of principles and commitments for public comment. Read it here: https://bit.ly/3VRuNTa.

You asked If you knew that Mayo Clinic is a leader in Advance Care at Home. This is not solely for aging in place.

I have followed the Hospital at Home, Advanced Home Care, and others for over 20 years.
The development of AI and the new wave of home care are moving at an alarming pace, which gives me a bit of hope that Dr. Gianrico Farrugia is leading the development of its conduct. Mayo Connect needs to consider a new discussion on AI and the Hospital at Home, Advance Home care for the support groups to start providing information.
Preparing for the Age in Place topic and Mayo Connect is a great start.
I read many great comments, and in each comment, I asked what wearable devices could assist individuals in their home environment.

What measures are you taking to prepare to age in place? Do you want to?
That is a separate post.
Ferris Watson

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@sirref, You will notice that we removed your email address to protect your privacy since Connect is a public forum and anyone with an Internet connect can see and harvest your email address for spam. Members can exchange contact and other personal information using the private message feature of Connect.

REPLY
@johnbishop

@sirref, You will notice that we removed your email address to protect your privacy since Connect is a public forum and anyone with an Internet connect can see and harvest your email address for spam. Members can exchange contact and other personal information using the private message feature of Connect.

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Thank you

REPLY
@sirref

Greetings margotcc You said.
"For right now, I feel safe here, have a good community, have a cleaning lady I like, and am in an already downsized townhome, with the bedroom downstairs and a walk-in shower. So far, so good.I do a lot of praying! What I do not read on the many comments are the

You did a great job with your townhouse, and with good health many more
years of enjoying life.
The Big question is! It is one thing to age in place, but how is your health to age in place? You stated you are in good health, but do others know their CHA₂DS₂-VASc score do you know the CHA₂DS₂-VASc score?
As one age, AF/ arterial fibrillation increases along with stroke.

"So I think I will move to their area when I need more help, physically or mentally."

The problem is that you do not know when you will be ready to move until it is too late. Consider the time frame to locate a desirable location and the work involved in moving there. If you are physically unable due to any misfortune, your family will experience physical and mental stress.
Have a good one.
Ferris

Jump to this post

Thank you for responding. We may not know the exact time when we are not able to take care of ourselves, but in my opinion I need to do today whatever I can to stay as healthy as I can, physically and mentally, and am praying that I’m able to make good decisions when needed.
Have I said I pray a lot? I do.
Take care, I wish you well.

REPLY
@sirref

This is off-topic.
You state a Great point.There are already "digital companion" type devices to help combat loneliness and provide companionship for people living on their own.

What do I think of these devices? Below are a few examples that recur in my readings.

The Pros are companionship, Availability 24/7 (if hardware, software, routers, or the internet is not broken or needs a reset), and Emotional support.

The cons are a lack of human connection and empathy, dependency and isolation, ethical and privacy concerns, and more privacy concerns, as well as unrealistic expectations. Commentaries on social media's dependency and isolation raise many alarms, and as AI is involved in the companionship of the lonely,
Many will forget that devices are only tools. Again, when lonely and isolated and family never calls or visits, one turns to an outlet that will not pass judgment on one's feelings and provide reassuring words/messages.

From Twitter: https://x.com/GFarrugiaMD/status/1778085115031097844

Dr. Gianrico Farrugia GFarrugiaMD CEO of Mayo active in the development ": Artificial Intelligence in Health, Health Care, and Biomedical Science: An AI Code of Conduct Principles and Commitments Discussion Draft"
·Apr 10 @theNAMedicine
The AI Code of Conduct initiative I am co-chairing has released an early framework of principles and commitments for public comment. Read it here: https://bit.ly/3VRuNTa.

You asked If you knew that Mayo Clinic is a leader in Advance Care at Home. This is not solely for aging in place.

I have followed the Hospital at Home, Advanced Home Care, and others for over 20 years.
The development of AI and the new wave of home care are moving at an alarming pace, which gives me a bit of hope that Dr. Gianrico Farrugia is leading the development of its conduct. Mayo Connect needs to consider a new discussion on AI and the Hospital at Home, Advance Home care for the support groups to start providing information.
Preparing for the Age in Place topic and Mayo Connect is a great start.
I read many great comments, and in each comment, I asked what wearable devices could assist individuals in their home environment.

What measures are you taking to prepare to age in place? Do you want to?
That is a separate post.
Ferris Watson

Jump to this post

@sirref, oh yes please. I invite you to start a new discussion on Hospital at Home and Advanced Home Care. Thank you.

REPLY
@margotcc

Thank you for responding. We may not know the exact time when we are not able to take care of ourselves, but in my opinion I need to do today whatever I can to stay as healthy as I can, physically and mentally, and am praying that I’m able to make good decisions when needed.
Have I said I pray a lot? I do.
Take care, I wish you well.

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Margot-
We can become a bit frenzied when we think about what may happen in our unknown futures. That is not good. If we become desperate to age "perfectly" with everything under control, we can lose our current enjoyment of life.
We can behave responsibly with great joy, and that is very self-empowering. I took the long way through the woods this morning. Seeing all the trees and plants coming up from the earth made me very grateful and I enjoyed the use/exercise of my body.

REPLY

Margot's mention that she's taking piano lessons is still nurturing me.
When thinking about aging in place it is easy to go deeper and deeper into possible problems and losses, forgetting that learning and study are one of life's finest joys.

Because of Jim's and Scott's messages I'm continuing in my editing, clearing and redesigning my office space with focus on the music I most want to play and study. It's wonderful to have some open space, both physical and mental open space. Just looking around the room makes me want to play.

"Preparing to age in place" is an ongoing process, a continuing review and refining of our environment (or so it seems to me), not something to do in a frenzy and be done with.

"Aging in place" can also mean "growing in place."

REPLY
@edsutton

Margot-
We can become a bit frenzied when we think about what may happen in our unknown futures. That is not good. If we become desperate to age "perfectly" with everything under control, we can lose our current enjoyment of life.
We can behave responsibly with great joy, and that is very self-empowering. I took the long way through the woods this morning. Seeing all the trees and plants coming up from the earth made me very grateful and I enjoyed the use/exercise of my body.

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I agree with you, and it is good to be reminded to enjoy the presence! We can certainly be grateful for so many things. I enjoy nature like you do. That tree in front of my window is full of life. It’s fun to watch the birds and squirrels in action.
And it’s fun to be able to walk in my neighborhood, and see the whistling ducks are having fun on the pond and haven’t migrated yet.
I know….. we need to be realistic and do our part in preparing for what may be ahead, but enjoying whatever we are able today is a good reminder for all of us.
Thanks again.

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@thisismarilynb

Thank you for your good wishes. It is nice to meet a fellow walker. Keep it up and remember - One foot in front of the other.

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I actually just ordered a walking cane, the kind with a Built-in seat.
I hope this will increase my ability to take longer walks if it doesn't prove to be cumbersome.
Gone are the days of hour-long walks, but I'm totally not ready to quit yet! Thanks for your encouragement.

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@edsutton

I spent several hours yesterday rearranging the double closet in my office. The most needed materials are easy to reach. Long term storage is in the far end. Two shopping bags of reference materials for a trade I no longer practice are thrown out. With a few more hours of weeding I may be able to create a little bit of open space for easier access.
I also removed some furniture to make better access to the closet.
If I become seriously disabled I may have little use for my extensive collection of musical scores.
If I stay active for another 15-20 years, there's good reason to keep them on hand, even though I know I'll never come close to playing all of them.
So I've not made it out of my office yet, in my walking cane study of our home!

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@edsutton - Thank you for this - I'm really taking these concerns and the actions you've taken to heart, especially as we are transitioning my mother from "Independent Living" to "Personal Care" this week.
But I do wonder if you could elaborate on one thing I find hard to escape - I have a pared-down (but still comprehensive!) collection of lifetime memorabilia, school notebooks, souvenirs, accomplishments, etc. that I think may fall into some of the kinds of collections you are paring down now.

I feel like 'once these things / items / evidence of a life (mine!)' are gone, they ARE GONE.

Somehow I greatly fear I will not give myself credit for them unless I can see them.

And the funny thing is - at least up until now - it's not like I've gone through them to remind myself of these things, or more specifically, give myself a pat on the back for what I've done and lived (which we all deserve to enjoy and appreciate, each in our own unique way).

Trying to put this into words is harder than I expected, so I wonder if it makes sense here; but if anyone else has similar thoughts/concerns when facing paring down (before it is even more of a burden in a physically compromised later stage of life), I welcome your ideas as well!

After transitioning my mother, I anticipate I will either: be exhausted, and avoid this paring-down task for a bit longer (i.e., procrastinate!), OR I will be energized by the realization of how important a task it is, especially while one is more physically up to the task. Will see!

REPLY
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