Not telling husband I am volunteering at food shelf

Posted by ihatediabetes @ihatediabetes, Apr 9 9:37pm

Hi everyone, I started volunteering at the local food shelf. We unloaded nine pallets of food and put all the food away on shelves, refrigerators, and walk-in freezer. I also put together 50 hygiene kits that we plan to give away to most needy. My husband has been working every day because he's essential worker. I think he expects me to mostly stay at home except for shopping and exercise. But that's not satisfying for me. I don't feel like I am vulnerable so I want to be out doing stuff. I even checked with my doctor and I'm not in vulnerable population. So I signed up but I didn't tell my husband that I am volunteering at food shelf. It bothers me to not tell him. But it also bothers me to know that people are out there trying to help when my husband just wants me to be safe. What about everybody else volunteering and working out in the community? I shouldn't be any different from them.

It's very admirable of you to volunteer. I hope you have all the safety gears. As for your husband, I'm sure he's worried about you, maybe that's the reason why he doesn't want you to go out. Have you had a discussion with him about volunteering?

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@mayofeb2020

It's very admirable of you to volunteer. I hope you have all the safety gears. As for your husband, I'm sure he's worried about you, maybe that's the reason why he doesn't want you to go out. Have you had a discussion with him about volunteering?

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No, I haven't talked to him about it. He went to work and I went to volunteer at the food shelf until about 2:30pm. So he doesn't know. I figured that he's eventually going to get exposed to the virus. Then he would be quarantined so I would be quarantined too. So it doesn't make sense to me that he's going to work and getting exposed to whatever at work. Then I am supposed to be safe at home. So I figure I might as well be out and about for now.

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Hello @ihatediabetes – I find it admirable that you are donating your time at the food shelf. However, have you given thought that you could possibly be contributing more than just your time?

You stated in an earlier post that your husband was an essential worker and that he would likely contract the disease at some point. (I certainly hope he does not)

If, heaven forbid he does, you could then at some point be inadvertently contaminating your fellow good Samaritans with Covid – 19.
We continuously are told that people that are asymptomatic could and do transmit the disease.

As this could be the case, why would you knowingly put others at risk?

Is there possibly something else you could do for the community that would mitigate the risk of transmitting Covid – 19 rather than enhance the risk?

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@ihatediabetes – I fully understand that you want to contribute by volunteering, but your husband should know. Are you in a risk group yourself? Your husband is an essential worker, but I would not assume that he will get infected. Others here have mentioned that you could volunteer in other ways that does not place you in direct contact with people. My husband and I are older and in risk groups. Our son is on furlough and does all errands for us. He gets stressed from being out in public- if he gets sick we’ll get sick etc. Today my husband acted irresponsibly- he drove to post office himself to mail a package. Our son got so angry and hurt- he makes it his mission not to have us go out.
These are difficult times- very frustrating for us who are used to be doing things.

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@grandpabob

Hello @ihatediabetes – I find it admirable that you are donating your time at the food shelf. However, have you given thought that you could possibly be contributing more than just your time?

You stated in an earlier post that your husband was an essential worker and that he would likely contract the disease at some point. (I certainly hope he does not)

If, heaven forbid he does, you could then at some point be inadvertently contaminating your fellow good Samaritans with Covid – 19.
We continuously are told that people that are asymptomatic could and do transmit the disease.

As this could be the case, why would you knowingly put others at risk?

Is there possibly something else you could do for the community that would mitigate the risk of transmitting Covid – 19 rather than enhance the risk?

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I don't think I am any different than the other volunteers. Also we aren't supposed to interact with the community. We do the back office work like unloading the truck and assembling hygiene kits. It's the staff that actually works directly with the public. So they are trying to keep us volunteers safe. I heard we have 8x the demand now that so many people are out of work.

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@mayofeb2020

It's very admirable of you to volunteer. I hope you have all the safety gears. As for your husband, I'm sure he's worried about you, maybe that's the reason why he doesn't want you to go out. Have you had a discussion with him about volunteering?

Jump to this post

I bought my own mask and they gave us gloves. There's a hand washing station by the front door. So that's the first thing we did was wash hands and put on gloves. Then we sign in for our shift. I like being with a team of people trying to fill the need for food. That's more real to be than staying home worrying about the virus. We can't live in fear. Its not sustainable.

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This is a photo of the food shelf. It's in a basketball court. We got 9 pallets of food yesterday. The need is great.

_20200410_102309

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