1. < Just Want to Talk

Aging and Changing

Posted by bakerwise @bakerwise, Oct 16, 2018

Discussion Group for people frustrated by eating out in public or feeling as if behavior with a diagnosed but not "solved" problem could result in exclusion from their family's dinner table. Examples: Spontaneous urination and laughter during dinner or tremor that causes food to be pushed off a plate.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

jshdma | @jshdma | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @harriethodgson1 "I'm no fighting age, I'm trying to make it work for me. In his book, To..." + (show)
@harriethodgson1

I'm no fighting age, I'm trying to make it work for me. In his book, To Bless the Space Between Us, Irish priest and poet describes age as a time of "gracious harvesting." I'm harvesting the seeds I've sown and continuing to do what I love to do. My 37th book, The Grandma Force, comes out next fall.

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It strike me that you ARE righting. Accepting would be more like the rocking chair, playing golf or going fishing. But I do disagree with the concept of "gracious harvesting." "Gracious" is for Emily Post, not for accomplishing things.

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1 reply
Parus | @parus | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @harriethodgson1 "Thanks Parus. Sounds like you and I are chugging along." + (show)
@harriethodgson1

Thanks Parus. Sounds like you and I are chugging along.

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@harriethodgson1 Yes we are and thankful to be doing so.

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jshdma | @jshdma | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @parus "@jshdma I apologize if my accepting sounded like giving up/in. I have accepted there are things..." + (show)
@parus

@jshdma I apologize if my accepting sounded like giving up/in. I have accepted there are things I can no longer do. Narian on giving up. I have found new ways to do things as I am not a quitter nor are you. Thank for the opportunity to clarify.

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@parus. No apology needed. I am not offended. Being offended is a waste of time anyway.

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Parus | @parus | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @jshdma "It strike me that you ARE righting. Accepting would be more like the rocking chair, playing..." + (show)
@jshdma

It strike me that you ARE righting. Accepting would be more like the rocking chair, playing golf or going fishing. But I do disagree with the concept of "gracious harvesting." "Gracious" is for Emily Post, not for accomplishing things.

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@jshdma You keep that fighting spirit and I do not even own a rocking chair. Who is Emily Post? Is she a contemporary poet?

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1 reply
grandmaR | @grandmar | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @jshdma "@parus - A relative of mine who was a doctor told me that the "golden" years..." + (show)
@jshdma

@parus - A relative of mine who was a doctor told me that the "golden" years are not golden at all. Reality is that if you are fortunate enough not to have died young or contracted some chronic disease at an earlier age, it all waits for you in old age. Many people affirm the benefit of acceptance. My instinct tells me to fight and not accept, as much as you can. Did we accept bad things in all the previous years? Bad grades? A bad job? Domestic violence? Not if there is any chance of resisting and not giving in.

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@jshdma
Good Morning!
That doctor is something else!
I believe there is a difference between accepting getting older and giving in to getting older.
I accept that I am getting older but I am not giving into it.
I am fighting as hard as possible without going over the edge and doing things that can be harmful to me or others.
Giving into things is not always a bad thing.
Your break a leg and you need to rest your leg. The rest of your body feels great and you want to go out.
You need to give into the fact that if you don't rest your leg, you can develop more issues before doing things before your leg is ready.

Ronnie
GRANDMAr

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1 reply
jshdma | @jshdma | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @parus "@jshdma You keep that fighting spirit and I do not even own a rocking chair. Who..." + (show)
@parus

@jshdma You keep that fighting spirit and I do not even own a rocking chair. Who is Emily Post? Is she a contemporary poet?

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@parus Hah! Emily Post wrote a (famous?) book on etiquette / good manners a long time ago, in an age that valued such things. (nothing personal-- obviously public manners are completely degraded). I just meant that serious work has little to do with the superficial.

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1 reply
jshdma | @jshdma | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @grandmar "@jshdma Good Morning! That doctor is something else! I believe there is a difference between accepting..." + (show)
@grandmar

@jshdma
Good Morning!
That doctor is something else!
I believe there is a difference between accepting getting older and giving in to getting older.
I accept that I am getting older but I am not giving into it.
I am fighting as hard as possible without going over the edge and doing things that can be harmful to me or others.
Giving into things is not always a bad thing.
Your break a leg and you need to rest your leg. The rest of your body feels great and you want to go out.
You need to give into the fact that if you don't rest your leg, you can develop more issues before doing things before your leg is ready.

Ronnie
GRANDMAr

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@grandmar- Yes and No to the need for rest a broken leg. My mother broke her leg and rested-- and rested-- and rested, until all her bones got soft that she almost lost the leg. Tragically, although a great doctor saved her leg, she spent the rest of her life resting in bed. Even one resting in bed (for a short time) should be exercising in other ways. Endless rest is death.

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Harriet Hodgson | @harriethodgson1 | Oct 24, 2018

I identify with "gracious harvesting" because I've lived it. In 2007 my daughter, mother of my twin grandkids, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Six months later the twins' father died from the injuries he received in another crash. The court appointed my husband and me as the twins' guardians, and we did this for seven years. We got them through high school and college. Both of the twins graduated with honors and Phi Beta Kappa. Today, my grandson is a junior at The Mayo Clinic School of Medicine. My granddaughter is married to a minister, an independent photographer, and participant in the foster children program. For me, their achievements are gracious harvesting.

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1 reply
Parus | @parus | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @jshdma "@parus Hah! Emily Post wrote a (famous?) book on etiquette / good manners a long time..." + (show)
@jshdma

@parus Hah! Emily Post wrote a (famous?) book on etiquette / good manners a long time ago, in an age that valued such things. (nothing personal-- obviously public manners are completely degraded). I just meant that serious work has little to do with the superficial.

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@jshdma Oh!! I do eat with a knife, fork and spoon. Now I “get” where you are coming from. Hope you don’t mind my getting a delightful chuckle out of the Emily Post comparison now. I must have missed that best seller as I was surrounded by Vanderbilt wanna be’s. This is hysterical. Excuse I am the visual type. Thank you and admire your spunk!!

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jshdma | @jshdma | Oct 24, 2018
In reply to @harriethodgson1 "I identify with "gracious harvesting" because I've lived it. In 2007 my daughter, mother of my..." + (show)
@harriethodgson1

I identify with "gracious harvesting" because I've lived it. In 2007 my daughter, mother of my twin grandkids, died from the injuries she received in a car crash. Six months later the twins' father died from the injuries he received in another crash. The court appointed my husband and me as the twins' guardians, and we did this for seven years. We got them through high school and college. Both of the twins graduated with honors and Phi Beta Kappa. Today, my grandson is a junior at The Mayo Clinic School of Medicine. My granddaughter is married to a minister, an independent photographer, and participant in the foster children program. For me, their achievements are gracious harvesting.

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@harriethodgson1 Wow! That sounds more like a whole new career than gracious harvesting (of past dreams or achievements). You deserve a lot of credit.

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