Long-term depression

@jimhd
Wishing you well with your appointment, Jim. It sounds like a long day and I hope you enjoy it!

Hello All,

Mayo's Cancer Education Center just published an article on Letting Go of the Past. I thought you might find it as interesting as I did. Here is the link. There have been some posts already, please feel free to add your thoughts.

@hopeful33250 Teresa, a very insightful article, that so many of us can benefit from! Thank you
Ginger

Depression and anxiety have a narrowing effect upon my life, even when I am doing as well as I *feel* that I am doing presently. My day to day routines are substantially under control and satisfying, yet I find it difficult to break into new endeavors, risks. There is a place of safety now that I enjoy, and that is of itself a particular accomplishment from where I have been. Is it dissatisfaction or worry that is keeping me in the straits of where I act now, or is it the mental illness that I so worry about coming into full powers again that prevent me, nay, prompt me ever, to keep from rocking the boat?

@guener Have you seen a psychiatrist? Do you talk with a counselor about how you feel? It helped me to have a good diagnosis, so I knew what I was dealing with.

Jim

@amberpep

I'm finally able to write a note. Thursday, I met with the orthopedist, who verified what I already knew. I have bursitis in my shoulder and arthritis in my thumb joint. I'm supposed to do pt for my shoulder. Oh joy! It's usually a waste of my time. Doing exercises just makes it hurt more. He could see that I have significant arthritis in my thumb, so he gave me a cortisone injection. It REALLY HURT!! I'm not sure I want to have that done to me again. The joint still hurts, but maybe it will improve. I've been having similar pain in my left hand, as well. I don't know what will come in the future. My hands are very important to me because I'm a pianist. The arthritis has been affecting my playing because it hurts to play a scale, every time my thumb moves under my fingers.

Friday I had an MRI. I didn't realize that the doctor had prescribed Ativan for claustrophobia. It's on my medication allergy list. Fortunately it didn't cause tachycardia the way it did a few years ago. But neither did it do anything for claustrophobia. I already take a similar medication every day, Clonazepam, so I had no response to the Ativan. I just closed my eyes and mentally thought about some songs, thinking about what chords I could play. As soon as my head entered the MRI I felt the beginning of a panic attack, but I managed to adjust my brain before it got too far.

Panic attacks are really unpleasant. I have them from time to time at night. I have to take off my Bipap mask, sit up, and ride it out. I've found that praying calms the attack most of the time but sometimes I have to go sit in my recliner for a while and focus on relaxing and breathing.

One of the services my service dog does is to sit in my lap and rest against my stomach and chest. It's a deep tissue stimulation therapy that calms a panic attack and also helps me when I'm more depressed than usual. I think she knows that what she's doing isn't just for her. Sometimes she comes to me on her own and puts her head on my lap, waiting for the signal from me.

We had a bumper crop of tomatoes on just two bushes. Before the first frost I pick the plants clean, even ones that are still quite green. My wife has pans set out all over the island, and the tomatoes finish ripening there. A bunch of them were ripe today, so she made a huge batch of spaghetti sauce. Most of it will go in the freezer to be enjoyed over the winter and spring. She makes a great sauce, and we had it for supper today.

Gotta turn off the lights and put on my Bipap mask and get some sleep. I hope you have a good Sunday.

Jim

@jimhd Hi Jim that sounds so good the sauce . I use to can everything my husband loved tomato juice so he and our son did the prep of tomatoes and I canned the juice. As for the thumb I had so many injections on mine and the Dr told me to get thumb splints to wear at night time they really did help I don't wear them now to much only when I feel a twitch in my thumb.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist for some years now and am on medication that has my depression and anxiety under control. I have been seeing a therapist, too, for the same length of time. It's just that I feel stuck in my routines and somewhat uneasy about how taking medication for the rest of my life may circumscribe how I feel and grow. Minding my mind is a full time task, even with the help.

I am glad you are mostly doing Ok with your depression and anxiety. I have been on medication for both for 27 years and expect to be on it for the rest of my life. Every time I forget to take my meds I can tell because days later I get really bad. It is a good reminder to me why I need to stay on the medicine. I also have times when I do not do as well. I find that getting tired from trying to do too much can make me worse. Also I find that ingesting anything with stimulants makes me worse. Of course no wants a relapse so I try to do what I need to do to be able to avoid the depression and anxiety. We are all on this journey through life together.

@johnhans @guener Thank you for sharing your medication habits, and your thoughts on them. I know it helped me to understand things. In the past when I was on an SSRI for depression, it was easy to tell when I forgot to take them! Now I am on other meds and again I can tell if I forget. You're both right, medications can be game-changers and make a difference in the quality of our lives.
Ginger