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Long-term depression
New to the group; would like to ask how others find something to look forward to in life? At my age, there's nothing to hope for, except death. I am a born-again Christian, so I know there is an escape from the physical pain and limitations brought on by illness, and escape from daily depression and motivation to continue. I try to remain active and do have interests, but sometimes the depression is too much. I have also realized when others say they care, etc., there truly is no one who means what they say. It's "We care, so long as you just keep doing your job here, but don't bother me - but we love you!" I'm old enough to know this is not true, but a method to keep a warm body in a position to get a job done. One of my 92 year old neighbors happily moves along, although she tells me almost all her friends are gone, etc. I can't ask her what motivates her. How do others have hope for anything after their families are gone and there is nothing else?
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@ginger, Volunteer Mentor, you and I both have written on our foreheads "Tell me all your troubles."
Thank God you are able to be in the right place at the right time.
Love and light,
Mamacita Jane
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2 ReactionsYes @gingerw it can be a lot of work. Even though I have primarily chemical depression, it is still work as I have discovered that there are still other things that make it worse. Like all people I am affected by circumstances. Also food I eat, which for me is anything that has a stimulant. That is why I have previously recommended using a journal to record what is happening and what you are doing and what you are eating to see if there is any correlation between them.
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3 Reactions@hopeful33250 , @amberpep
Thursday I had the appointment to have my thumb and shoulder looked at. The doctor recommended PT for my shoulder, and injected cortisone in the thumb to hand joint. By now it isn't hurting anymore, but it was a high price to pay for that. I'll put off having that done as long as possible. It REALLY, REALLY HURT!!! I think that after he got the syringe in, he injected cortisone in 4 places. He did it with x-ray guidance so he could put it in just the right places. I remember years ago, when I hit my finger with a hammer, and just hollered ouch!, The man I was working with said, "I bet there are times when you wish you weren't a minister".
On Friday I had an MRI of my lower back. I had told the doctor that I was claustrophobic, but all she prescribed was 1mg of Ativan. I already take its sister, Clonazepam, and Ativan was on my list of drug allergies, but it had absolutely no effect on me. When I first started going into the machine I started to have a panic attack, but I closed my eyes and focused on what chords I could play with a few songs. I was able to maintain the mental distraction and had no problems.
I talked with the pharmacist about it, and she suggested asking the doctor to prescribe an injection for my next MRI, coming up in a couple of weeks. This next one is a scan of my brain, on a new machine that gives better resolution than the one I had on an older MRI.
I don't know how many people in this discussion have had panic attacks, but I've had numerous ones, and believe me, they're no fun at all.
Time for my Sunday afternoon nap. Thank you all for your responses.
Jim
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3 Reactions@jimhd - that sounds super scary having a panic attack when going into the MRI machine. Wow that you controlled it by yourself with some mental distraction. I know that @johnhans has talked about experiencing a panic attack before and may be able to relate to something like what you experienced going into the imaging session.
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5 Reactions@lisalucier Fortunately, I felt the panic start just as my head went into the machine. I wasn't sure how long I'd last. After only a second or two I closed my eyes and focused on chord options for a few songs we sing at church. I held a panic button but didn't have to use it.
I was in the hospital when I reacted to Lyrica, and they put an NG tube in. I've had them several times over the years, and it doesn't get any more fun. That evening I felt like my heart was racing like it did in the ER. I had a heart monitor, but it didn't ring any alarms. I finally figured out that I was having a panic attack because of the NG tube. As soon as they took it out, I began feeling better. Anyone who's had one knows that they don't stop instantly.
What I've found that helps me is to pray. Sometimes it's a long prayer.
Jim
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5 ReactionsFor me a panic attack was a full-blown, overwhelming feeling of dread. I felt like someone who was being attacked by a killer. I could not do anything but scream and was unable to run. I would not want one of those in an MRI. I did almost get stuck in one once. I was so big I was scraping the sides when I went in. I felt like a sardine in a can. When they tried to get me out, they were having a problem with me not coming out. They were very reassuring and manipulated me enough to get me out. Fortunately my meds were working to keep me from panicking. I find the better my depression is under control, the better my anxiety is under control. Yes @jimhd prayer does always help me.
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5 Reactions@johnhans
They are certainly small spaces. I'm glad I didn't have to raise my arms up over my head this time. Because of bursitis in my shoulder, that's painful.
It's kind of hard to explain how I feel during a panic attack. My heart is racing, I have a sense of impending doom, I feel like I'm being smothered and can't breathe, and I think I have the urge to scream or something. It's not a pleasant experience, is it.
Jim
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4 ReactionsNo it is not a pleasant experience @jimhd
One thing I noticed is that my anxiety comes mainly from not making a decision on a timely basis. If I leave decisions unmade it comes out as stress, so I now try and make a definite decision even if is only to wait for a definite period.
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4 Reactions@jimhd I get claustrophobic; MRI or CT machines are a nightmare for me. I try to ward off impending [extreme] discomfort by praying the test will show a good outcome. I sometimes "do" Tai Chi Chuan in my mind, or "draw" Zentangle patterns.
Ginger
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2 Reactions@gingerw I intend to be pushy regarding my claustrophobia and get some serious knockout drugs for my next MRI, coming up in a couple of weeks.
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