Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

@parus

There are times when depression reigns. There are no solutions, there is no hope. When a therapist gives up it is serious. Discouraged, old and useless. Not even in self pity. Know there are no solutions. An abusive past that will not be gone from me. No one wants to hear the same thing all the time. There is no forward at this time. Anyone trying to please others-please stop doing so before there is no future.

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Yes, @parus, I agree. Pleasing others is a very thankless task, isn’t it? You don’t make yourself happy nor the other people that you are trying so hard to please. Nobody wins when it comes to people-pleasing!

Teresa

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I’ve read the sharing between you and others in our group. I’ve been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn’t understand. Of all the lessons that I’ve learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I’ve learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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I want to add to what Theresa said about CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I’ve read the research that has shown that this seems to be the therapeutic technique/program that has the best results for those with depression. I have had varying levels of severity of depression (major episodes to dysthymia) since I was a teenager and have been in therapy for many, many, years. I have found that CBT works well mostly for persons with single episode depression and those who do not have complicated psychological histories. For me, it is too simple and doesn’t address the underlying issues that “feed” my depression. There are two other programs that can be used in therapy and independently that I just wanted to mention. One is Schema therapy, which was developed based on CBT, but takes it a step further. They say that this is effective with people who have accompanying personality disorders. I don’t have a “full-blown” personality disorder (I haven’t been diagnosed with one), but I do have longstanding psychological issues stemming from childhood and early adulthood experience, which this therapy addresses.

The other program is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It is used for a variety of problems, including something else I deal with, chronic pain. The focus is on acknowledging one’s struggles/problems, etc., learning ways to accept that they are part of your life, then moving on with learning ways to adapt, cope, etc. There is a lot of literature and many publications about this technique.

For those people who do not receive what they need to get well from CBT, I would suggest looking into the “programs” or therapeutic techniques I mentioned above.

All the best to you on your recovery journey!
Sharon

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I’ve read the sharing between you and others in our group. I’ve been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn’t understand. Of all the lessons that I’ve learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I’ve learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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@sharlynn62 Hello Sharon,

Thanks for adding some new ideas beyond CBT. I am interested in finding out more about Acceptance and Commitement Therapy.

Can you share with us about your experience with ACT?

Teresa

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I’ve read the sharing between you and others in our group. I’ve been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn’t understand. Of all the lessons that I’ve learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I’ve learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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The commitment and acceptance therapy sounds very much like the Mindfulness training nook I have been working through. Meditation to calm, center, and ground yourself. The point is then to accept what is real, don’t let yourself imagine things being any different, especially worse, than reality. It is helping me with my anxiety and a bit with depression.

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I’ve read the sharing between you and others in our group. I’ve been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn’t understand. Of all the lessons that I’ve learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I’ve learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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@sharlynn62 Chronic depression coupled with chronic pain is a challenge. There are no answers for either.

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I’ve read the sharing between you and others in our group. I’ve been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn’t understand. Of all the lessons that I’ve learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I’ve learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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@gman007 I cannot do meditation as it throws me into PTSD. Would that I could.

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I have suffered from depression since 1988. I am now 59 years old. My GP treated me for many years with varying degrees of success. Looking back now he should have sent me to a psychiatrist for treatment. I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2011 for a major depressive episode. Initially I was being treated for anxiety. The team in the hospital decided to focus more on the depression aspect of my illness. My GP would have always said that the anxiety was the outward symptom of my depression. I did not need Xanax to treat the anxiety element of my depression. After two months the doctors decided to try ECT and change my melds to SNRIs. The results were amazing. I knew this treatment had worked for me. I know there is a lot of controversy with ECT. I was discharged shortly afterwards.
When I came home I made contact with a clinical psychologist. I attended the psychologist for the next year every fortnight . We used CBT and Mindfulness as our main tools to aid me in my recovery.
Never give up hope. I never thought that I would ever feel the way that I am currently feeling.

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@padraig Thank you for sharing a positive result with depression. What a wonderful report!

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@padraig

I have suffered from depression since 1988. I am now 59 years old. My GP treated me for many years with varying degrees of success. Looking back now he should have sent me to a psychiatrist for treatment. I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 2011 for a major depressive episode. Initially I was being treated for anxiety. The team in the hospital decided to focus more on the depression aspect of my illness. My GP would have always said that the anxiety was the outward symptom of my depression. I did not need Xanax to treat the anxiety element of my depression. After two months the doctors decided to try ECT and change my melds to SNRIs. The results were amazing. I knew this treatment had worked for me. I know there is a lot of controversy with ECT. I was discharged shortly afterwards.
When I came home I made contact with a clinical psychologist. I attended the psychologist for the next year every fortnight . We used CBT and Mindfulness as our main tools to aid me in my recovery.
Never give up hope. I never thought that I would ever feel the way that I am currently feeling.

Jump to this post

@padraig

I see this is your first post on Connect, welcome! I am Teresa, a volunteer mentor with Connect.

I appreciate your post. It is a good example of how sometimes it just takes a while to put together the right combination of professionals as well as meds. I appreciate your persistence in finding answers.

I am happy to hear that you are doing so much better. I look forward to your posts in the future.

Teresa

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I’ve read the sharing between you and others in our group. I’ve been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn’t understand. Of all the lessons that I’ve learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I’ve learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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Hello every one I\'m new to this site I suffer from e u personality disorder anxiety and depression I\'m just wondering if anyone else has been put on quitiepine

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@charlie75

Hi Sharlynn62,
I’ve read the sharing between you and others in our group. I’ve been depressed for so many times that it became a comfortable space for me to occupy as I knew where I was and what was happening. I learned to feel the pain and continued to function after several years of suffering. I would put on my actors face and go out into the world and fool those around me although I was crying inside. My Father would tell me that I was my worse enemy. I was so sick that I didn’t understand. Of all the lessons that I’ve learned is that once I accept my illness, I have been able to work on the illness by people who are willing to help me recover. These people are professionals and others who share the same sicknesses and hope is instilled. I’ve learned that acceptance and hope are two verbs that require action on my part. Action helps with optimism and optimism brings me out of my depression. I have no idea what your mental diagnosis is and the medications you take. Hopefully, your Doctor can help you with this portion of treatment. The best to you.
charlie75

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Welcome to our group. I also suffer with anxiety and depression. I just started on Remeron and Lexapro. I\'ve not tried Quetipine. I\'m not familiar with e u. What does this mean?

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I too, have suffered from the Big D for many years including years before diagnosis when I thought I was just moody. No matter what I try or do, the clouds come and my mind convinces me of all that I fear is true. Truly the only thing that really helps me is that I finally have a diagnosis, I believe it to be true, and I have finally come to terms with it and the fact that I will always have it. Surrendering to it is somehow, strangely, helpful. I certainly do wish it was otherwise, but it is not, so I use what Ive learned in therapy and make it through each day the best way I know how. Its not easy or often very pretty but it is what it is.

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