1. < Depression & Anxiety

Long-term depression

Posted by seeker70 @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I"m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: 'why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude'. Or they don't hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: 'what do you have to be depressed about?' Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a 'why', not is it a 'choice'. It's almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that's what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don't want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it's harder and harder to 'push depression down' once it's popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy - but as I said, it's not a 'why'. I'm looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it's just me and there's no one else who feels this way -- 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

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Gary, Alumni Mentor | @gman007 | Apr 27, 2018
In reply to @parus "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..." + (show)
@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the "D" word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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Hi @ mamasitalucita. Thank you for your story, but I would love to hear more of it. I initially thought Hispanic ancestry when I saw your name and because I know just enough spanish(written) to be dangerous, I was curious and now more so. I also appreciate the way you describe your life now. If I can focus on others through gratitude and sharing and kindness, I spend so much less time thinking about what I can not do or don't want to do. Thank you for your very encouraging words and I really would love for you to tell me and all of our members more about you and your life. So nice to virtually meet you!
Gary

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liz223 | @liz223 | Apr 27, 2018
In reply to @parus "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..." + (show)
@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the "D" word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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Thank you for sharing. It is great to have a good counselor. I have found great understanding in my primary doctor. I too practice mindfulness, prayer and meditation. I know these practices are my salvation. You are right, we can learn from each other and we can help each other.

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Apr 27, 2018
In reply to @parus "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..." + (show)
@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the "D" word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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Thank you for your response!  I find it to be so encouraging to hear from others who walk the same path as I do.  We learn from each other.

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Apr 27, 2018
In reply to @parus "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..." + (show)
@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the "D" word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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Oh, trust me, it is my pleasure!  Thank you so much for your quick response and the rest of your message!  I am scattered, having been told by my GP that he really doesn't want me taking ADHD Medicine.  I think I would be able to focus more however, if I did take it.  I am also on the Autism Spectrum, having discovered late in life why I am the way I am.  I am an Autism Advocate, retired from the school system.  I was a Social Worker for some years, and now am a Certified Pastoral Counsellor. I love helping others however I can, because I know how important it is to have that connection with other people.  Please, let's keep in touch on here and support our bothers and sisters on this journey.

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Apr 27, 2018
In reply to @parus "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..." + (show)
@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the "D" word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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Thank you so very much for your kind words!  There are so many things that are in my "tool kit" for managing depression and anxiety.  I have only begun to scratch the surface, and plan to add more as I grow and change daily. Structure helps tremendously, of course.  Having both ADHD and Autism, My little brain is assaulted daily from the screaming noises of life in civilization! I suspect my anxiety comes a lot from my heightened senses.  I hear off the charts, and every other sense is magnified.  I spend a lot of energy just dealing with this world on a daily basis.  My depression used to be so bad, I can only say that it is a miracle I am still here.  And that is why I want so much to help others who are made of the same stuff I am.  Again, thanks for sharing!  Blessings and joy.

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Apr 27, 2018
In reply to @parus "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..." + (show)
@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the "D" word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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I have a wonderful family doctor.  He listens to me, really cares, and goes the second mile.  He doesn't take offense at my questions, or the fact that I do research on whatever is going on with me.  I believe we should be informed consumers, most importantly about things concerning our health!  Peace and blessings.

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Apr 27, 2018
In reply to @parus "@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to..." + (show)
@parus

@sharlynn62 I am 66 and there is nothing anyone else can do. It is up to me. If I cannot use my CBT skills then what else is there? I am 66 and I do not mention the "D" word to anyone. I feel like a leper in society. I surely will get back on track. Currently I lack the desire to even try. Yup, listening to the depression demon. Native Americans left the tribe when they were no longer of value. Welcome to my pitiful world.

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@mamasitalucita

What an interesting collection of diagnoses - ADHD and Autism Spectrum. I'm sure that you will be able to help a lot of people as a Certified Pastoral Counselor and Autism Advocate. I've been a Stephen Minister for many years and I know how it has helped me to care for myself and others.

Keep sharing - your thoughts are very helpful to our discussions!

Teresa

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Parus | @parus | Apr 28, 2018

I need to check into finding another therapist. Another will likely be of no help either. The work is mine to do. I have run dry as to how or what to do. Besides all therapists have been taught in the same way and the same things which has become so boring. It is me. Has to be as I read about others who get help.

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1 reply
Parus | @parus | Apr 28, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "Just saw this. I am not the greatest at keeping up with my email. But I..." + (show)
@mamacita

Just saw this. I am not the greatest at keeping up with my email. But I saw this, and recovery from the effects of depression is very important to me. I think that if you are a sensitive, intelligent person, depression can be a situational thing in response to the way our society has evolved. So many things not right in this world. So many memes on social media suggest that depression is easy to fix. Just get a better attitude. Focus on joy. On others. On yourself. On God. And to a certain extent they can be helpful. I am on the Autism Spectrum, and I have a lot of anxiety to deal with because I am very sensitive. I hear too well, see everything, feel everything. Smells, allergies, getting overwhelmed at too much stimuli. But I do have a great deal of happiness in my life, after all these years of trying to figure things out. I have a great counselor who I trust and I see her for a check up every once in a while. I understand myself better and so I protect myself from the things that are hurtful to me as much as possible. I take a fairly low dose of Cymbalta and practice mindfulness There are so many different things that can help. I hope you are feeling better and have found some things that work for you.

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Those of us with long term depression like do know it is not an easy fix and unfortunately cannot be fixed. We endeavor to learn how to live with this affliction. I am thankful for those who can and have been helped.

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Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Apr 28, 2018

@parus

Searching for a new therapist is a good idea. You are a very intelligent, creative and thoughtful person. Finding someone who can relate to those characteristics and be of help would be worth the effort.

Teresa

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