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seeker70
@seeker70

Posts: 2
Joined: Oct 11, 2017

Long-term depression

Posted by @seeker70, Oct 11, 2017

I have been depressed, when I think about it, since I was a kid (I”m a senior now!) I have been treated off and on with meds and minimal talk therapy, but nothing changes. In the past it has been underlying but as I grow older it is becoming more intense. People ask: ‘why are you depressed? I never get depressed, just get a better attitude’. Or they don’t hear my (probably passive-aggressive) cries for help. Or they say: ‘what do you have to be depressed about?’ Actually although I agree with these opinions to a certain extent, it does not address the problem that depression is not a ‘why’, not is it a ‘choice’. It’s almost like being gay, you just are. Maybe I should just accept it (guess that’s what I have done for decades 🙂 But I don’t want to. I want to feel better now. Earlier in my life I was able to enjoy things, although the depression would keep popping out. But now I seem to have trouble enjoying anything, including my own family, and it’s harder and harder to ‘push depression down’ once it’s popped. So I have longer periods of depression and sadness and sleeplessness and lonliness, an shorter periods of being able to enjoy my life. Or want something. Or look forward to anything. I will say too that I have as much to be happy about as I do to be unhappy – but as I said, it’s not a ‘why’. I’m looking for people to explore this idea, and to help each other begin to overcome. Or maybe it’s just me and there’s no one else who feels this way — 😉 Thank you for reading all this.

REPLY

Guldern depression has destroyed so many lives.

I have had many days where I wake up and immediately, even before my feet hit the floor, I know that I have a battle to fight. I want to be positive, I want to have a smile on my face for my family. I want to tell the demons to go back to the hell they came from. Many days I am an overcomer. Some days the struggle takes so much out of me that I hug the couch and the tv remote, read my daily devotional, get my Bible close by, and pray that I get at least three verses covered. Even if it takes all day to accomplish it. Depression is a respectable condition. Like Diabetes, Gout, and Eczema. Get some medicine, take it easy, and wait to feel better. Only sometimes, it takes several trials of different medications to achieve anything resembling balance. Then there's this thing called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If we have suffered from depression for decades, changing our thought patterns is not the easiest thing to do. But if we will try to eliminate the negative thought patterns that are so drearily comforting, we just might see a lot more sunshine in our days. "I'm worthless." "I have no special abilities." I'm ugly." " No one ever comes to see me." All of these lies that we tell ourselves need to go straight into the trash can. You are of infinite worth. You have gifts, and lots of them. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. If no one ever comes to see you, then make plans to go see someone in the nursing home who never gets a visitor. Be to others what you wish others would be for you. In the meantime, try to take just one step towards making a positive change that will do you a world of good. It will be so worth it. You've got this.

@mamacita

I have had many days where I wake up and immediately, even before my feet hit the floor, I know that I have a battle to fight. I want to be positive, I want to have a smile on my face for my family. I want to tell the demons to go back to the hell they came from. Many days I am an overcomer. Some days the struggle takes so much out of me that I hug the couch and the tv remote, read my daily devotional, get my Bible close by, and pray that I get at least three verses covered. Even if it takes all day to accomplish it. Depression is a respectable condition. Like Diabetes, Gout, and Eczema. Get some medicine, take it easy, and wait to feel better. Only sometimes, it takes several trials of different medications to achieve anything resembling balance. Then there's this thing called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If we have suffered from depression for decades, changing our thought patterns is not the easiest thing to do. But if we will try to eliminate the negative thought patterns that are so drearily comforting, we just might see a lot more sunshine in our days. "I'm worthless." "I have no special abilities." I'm ugly." " No one ever comes to see me." All of these lies that we tell ourselves need to go straight into the trash can. You are of infinite worth. You have gifts, and lots of them. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. If no one ever comes to see you, then make plans to go see someone in the nursing home who never gets a visitor. Be to others what you wish others would be for you. In the meantime, try to take just one step towards making a positive change that will do you a world of good. It will be so worth it. You've got this.

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I agree with you, @mamasitalucita — I believe that keeping an eye on our thought patterns is very important. I found myself in a bad thought pattern a few years ago, and learning to counter those thoughts and "catch myself in the act" of thinking negatively — especially tearing myself down — was critical.

@mamasitalucita and @lisalucier

I really like this discussion! I hear what you are both saying. When we talk to ourselves in a negative or critical voice we find ourselves feeling depressed (feelings tend to follow thoughts, don't they?). I have found it necessary to also be very diligent about what I tell myself. To be a happy person, we need to like who we are – just the way we are now – not how we wish we were.

Thanks for your sharing.

Teresa

@mamacita

I have had many days where I wake up and immediately, even before my feet hit the floor, I know that I have a battle to fight. I want to be positive, I want to have a smile on my face for my family. I want to tell the demons to go back to the hell they came from. Many days I am an overcomer. Some days the struggle takes so much out of me that I hug the couch and the tv remote, read my daily devotional, get my Bible close by, and pray that I get at least three verses covered. Even if it takes all day to accomplish it. Depression is a respectable condition. Like Diabetes, Gout, and Eczema. Get some medicine, take it easy, and wait to feel better. Only sometimes, it takes several trials of different medications to achieve anything resembling balance. Then there's this thing called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If we have suffered from depression for decades, changing our thought patterns is not the easiest thing to do. But if we will try to eliminate the negative thought patterns that are so drearily comforting, we just might see a lot more sunshine in our days. "I'm worthless." "I have no special abilities." I'm ugly." " No one ever comes to see me." All of these lies that we tell ourselves need to go straight into the trash can. You are of infinite worth. You have gifts, and lots of them. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. If no one ever comes to see you, then make plans to go see someone in the nursing home who never gets a visitor. Be to others what you wish others would be for you. In the meantime, try to take just one step towards making a positive change that will do you a world of good. It will be so worth it. You've got this.

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I am slowly coming out of PTSD and depression–Most days I am mostly balanced. Some days very hopeful and happy- but balanced so that I am not on the bed all say.

@seeker70 I can relate to your depression. I also had it since I was a kid and now a senior. It is mild sometimes but mostly it stand its ugly head out and it keeps me from enjoying most things. I recently told a friend I was depressed again and don't know why. I want to be happy and enjoy life. I want the joy most people feel and live. When I was younger I would work long hours so my mind would stay busy on work instead of depression. Now that I am older I realized I was only hurting my children because I was engulfed in work and too busy to be with them. The guilt and worry that comes along with depression is terrible. Prayers for all of you. I hope we all beat this thing once and for all. Wanda

I was depressed as a kid, but had no name for my feelings. I knew I was different and actually hid out from everyone for hours at a time. I coped as best as I could and didn't really hit the wall until I was in my mid 20s when my 2nd marriage was floundering. I now realize at that time I was judging myself by whatever man was in my life. I was hurt, depressed and angry. I felt I couldn't be happy until a man loved and needed me (only me). That didn't turn out so well and it has taken my whole life to feel free of that need. However, I'm a people pleaser, even though I know this doesn't work either. I am pretty much a loner and some days are up and some down. I am usually the happiest when I have a new project or idea to challenge me. I have never spent real time with a councilor, other than my three week stay in the hospital. I was given insulin shock and hardly remember what we talked about. I only saw him a couple of times after the stay. I didn't know how to trust him either. I look at my depression as a disease like any other and cope as best I can.

Liked by ladybugmg

@liz223

I so appreciate you sharing your story. People pleasing is one of those horrendous tasks that does not offer much pleasure to the one involved (or even to the people we are trying to please). I am glad that you have gained as much insight as you have.

You mention not having done much counseling. Have you ever thought of trying it again? As you are very insightful and articulate person it might be a help to you now.

I look forward to your future posts!

Teresa

People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get over cancer. I don't get happy people.

@mamacita

I have had many days where I wake up and immediately, even before my feet hit the floor, I know that I have a battle to fight. I want to be positive, I want to have a smile on my face for my family. I want to tell the demons to go back to the hell they came from. Many days I am an overcomer. Some days the struggle takes so much out of me that I hug the couch and the tv remote, read my daily devotional, get my Bible close by, and pray that I get at least three verses covered. Even if it takes all day to accomplish it. Depression is a respectable condition. Like Diabetes, Gout, and Eczema. Get some medicine, take it easy, and wait to feel better. Only sometimes, it takes several trials of different medications to achieve anything resembling balance. Then there's this thing called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If we have suffered from depression for decades, changing our thought patterns is not the easiest thing to do. But if we will try to eliminate the negative thought patterns that are so drearily comforting, we just might see a lot more sunshine in our days. "I'm worthless." "I have no special abilities." I'm ugly." " No one ever comes to see me." All of these lies that we tell ourselves need to go straight into the trash can. You are of infinite worth. You have gifts, and lots of them. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. If no one ever comes to see you, then make plans to go see someone in the nursing home who never gets a visitor. Be to others what you wish others would be for you. In the meantime, try to take just one step towards making a positive change that will do you a world of good. It will be so worth it. You've got this.

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This I can understand. On days I am not "balanced" I lose the day and oft times more. Eventually we come back around even if it may not feel that we ever will at the time.

I have learned to not even mention the "D" word. Admitting thus has offered nothing except cause more harm on many levels.

@nikki1234

People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get over cancer. I don't get happy people.

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I do almost daily research about anxiety and depression and have discovered that these maladies are not being ignored as there are many studies that use imaging to find out what part of the brain causes the two problems. These researchers are working very hard to find the answers and I want to assure you that these two problems have the attention of many people who are devoting their lives to finding the answer

You mentioned cancer and today many people, like one of my nieces who was receently diagnosed with what used to be terminal cancer and now is being treated with chemo that almost guarantees her five more years of life with the doctor telling her that by that time there will be a cure.

So if it is any consolation to know that anxiety and depression are the subject of many studies with a good chance they will find the answer to what causes it and alleviate the symptoms.

@mamacita

I have had many days where I wake up and immediately, even before my feet hit the floor, I know that I have a battle to fight. I want to be positive, I want to have a smile on my face for my family. I want to tell the demons to go back to the hell they came from. Many days I am an overcomer. Some days the struggle takes so much out of me that I hug the couch and the tv remote, read my daily devotional, get my Bible close by, and pray that I get at least three verses covered. Even if it takes all day to accomplish it. Depression is a respectable condition. Like Diabetes, Gout, and Eczema. Get some medicine, take it easy, and wait to feel better. Only sometimes, it takes several trials of different medications to achieve anything resembling balance. Then there's this thing called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If we have suffered from depression for decades, changing our thought patterns is not the easiest thing to do. But if we will try to eliminate the negative thought patterns that are so drearily comforting, we just might see a lot more sunshine in our days. "I'm worthless." "I have no special abilities." I'm ugly." " No one ever comes to see me." All of these lies that we tell ourselves need to go straight into the trash can. You are of infinite worth. You have gifts, and lots of them. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. If no one ever comes to see you, then make plans to go see someone in the nursing home who never gets a visitor. Be to others what you wish others would be for you. In the meantime, try to take just one step towards making a positive change that will do you a world of good. It will be so worth it. You've got this.

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You wrote that you are mostly "balanced" most of the day. What does that mean and how do you attain that?

@nikki1234

People that say get over it are ignorant and can kiss my ass, can you get over cancer. I don't get happy people.

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I hope they can figure out a way to control these horrible conditions. I have been fighting Anxiety and Depression for years. I want so bad to feel half way normal. Iam 72 and have treatment resistant Anxiety and Depression. Every day is a struggle. Every night i go to bed, i hope tomorrow will be better.

@parus

I have learned to not even mention the "D" word. Admitting thus has offered nothing except cause more harm on many levels.

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I have noticed that once a depressed or anxious person is diagnosed, they never get the ptoper attention paid to them when they go to a doctor for a illness. They just say well, its your depression. Its like a depressed person can never get sick. As a result, alot of depressed and anxious people avoid going to a doctor for treatment when they should.

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