Severe anxiety/depression. Need help.

Posted by Mimi @anoushey, Oct 22, 2018

Hey everyone,
Five months ago I had mental breakdown and wasn’t able to get out of bed, let alone work or even get out for a meal for days. I experienced severe depersonalisation/depression/anxiety and involuntary bouts of crying.
The doctor put me on venaflaxine which made me borderline suicidal. Was then gently moved to Zoloft but the side effects including suicial ideation, eye pain, blurred vision, seeing black spots, nausea etc didn’t leave me. I was switched for the 3rd time onto the lightest dose of Escitalopram 5mg 6th of last month with 100mg Pregabalin in the mornings and 100mg Pregabalin in the night.
I’ve taken off work because nothing in life interests me at this point and am barely living one day at a time. I know I’m not suicidal but the ideation doesn’t go, however if I try and stop the meds, the anxiety comes back with a vengeance. I also suffer from diurnal mood variation disorder, which means my mornings/afternoons are the worst and I only feel better by evening. I’m slowly trying to get off the pregabalin. And am going to increase dose of anti depressants. Anyone have any clue on this? Sorry for the lengthy message. Am desperate.

@tina5

I am sorry you are having to go through this. I am sorry I don't want to what may seem stupid questions.
Is there a reason you are trying to go off the latest meds? I didn't catch it if you said they were not working.
Do you have family, friends, or other support?

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Yes, I do have ample family support thankfully but my anxiety is baddddd. I’m seeing the doctor again on the 1st and hoping for the best

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@littlepaw

You've had a huge meltdown which likely took a long time to manifest itself and will more than likely take some time, step by step to mend. You will probably be a happier person as you heal because your long suffering is over, its out in the open. My mother had a breakdown like yours, but, she never pursued professional help and somehow she managed to pull through. My view is her recovery came by having oodles of loving kindness surrounding her. She also loved a whole lot. She has 50 grandchildren included in there her greats and add to that her own children, and we all kept her occupied. She herself was very witty and kind. At every occasion she gave generously without hesitation. This enabled her to maintain a measure of dignity and restore laughter during her recovery period. She juggled, and ducked and dived, robbed Peter to pay for Paul after all she had a huge field to play in, I mean all those children. She spoke of her trials often, regularly sharing gave us a lesson to learn. We all listened carefully even though at times it was done painstakingly. Eventually she was able to empty out and throw all the negatives to the wind, her past trauma's had passed. Her present care was where her mind wanted to be. The complexity of a breakdown is dynamic and hard to digest at best. She wanted a simple version of life now. One she could be content in. Her future, she didn't worry about. She remembered everyday to be grateful for what she had and tried not to mourn what she didn't have. She also believed in God. Striving after material gain could put her under compulsion so she avoided that in fact she avoided all kinds of pressure. When anxiety arose, she read, she created, painted…she rejuvenated herself someway. She was a creative soul so she'd find a way. When she broke her hip on a lip in the footpath she couldn't walk her anxiety away whilst picking flowers and branches on the way. She did need assistance with pain though. She brought Panadeine from the drug store nearly every week. She had huge varicose veins in both legs. Ouch. She had suffered more than anyone person should. I think she feared going to the doctor's because she was afraid to cry for fear she might not stop….not to mention dying from embarrassment.. Poor thing. At night she stood her legs under a cold tap for 10 minutes or so, so as to numb her legs in order to fall to sleep without the throbbing pain they caused her. She used a basin of ice, no problem for her to stick her feet in it. We all learnt from the local librarian how to use acupressure massage so we could bring relief of some sort to her. The foot was the patient. My goodness that was the bomb. It was so good that in the end we'd pay or bribe the grandchildren to do ours too. Father had Halcion for sleep back in their married years and now and then she'd indulge in one or two. But they were divorced now, after 35 years of marriage, the little blue melodies were sparse now. Mother's breakdown had much to do with fathers brutality and adultery. But something else came to her rescue, yes, it pleasantly surprised her. She discovered a thing called marijuana. She was 48 when she had her breakdown and soon her first whiff of marijuana wafted up her hungry nose. She was totally against this drug yet this one afternoon her daughter blew that smoke right next to her. She said she inhaled instant relief and so goes the story of why marijuana become her medicine. It also made her creative juices soar to a heavenly height. She died at 73, peacefully at home but to this day I'll always remember her telling me cannabis kept her sane.. it kept the stain of pain at bay. I think the moral of this story has to do with kindness and love. May you have that in abundance during your journey.

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Wow, your mothers my hero now. I’m going to take inspiration from her. Some days it’s just very hard

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@farabella

I’m so sorry you are going thru this. Maybe a higher dose of the Lexipro would help? I was in a very bad way emotionally and the Lexipro helped a lot gave me my life back. Wish. The best for you. God bless.

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Thanks so much @farabella. Seeing the doctor on the first, meanwhile just dealing with my anxiety everyday

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@anoushey

Wow, your mothers my hero now. I’m going to take inspiration from her. Some days it’s just very hard

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Thank you so much. My hope in writing this was that someone would get something out of Mum's experience. That's just great. Cheers

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@anoushey

Yes, I do have ample family support thankfully but my anxiety is baddddd. I’m seeing the doctor again on the 1st and hoping for the best

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@anoushey Family can be blood related, or not. That is one way to look at it, and remember, we are all family here around this cyber kitchen table! Know you can talk to us anytime, there is almost always someone online. Keep breathing, take it one hour at a time. We're all thinking of you and supporting you.
Ginger

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Hi, everyone,
It’s time to open a new group dedicated to depression and anxiety.

So many of you are connecting on the topics of depression and/or anxiety — coping, tapering of medications, etc. — that it was time to give you a space dedicated to Depression & Anxiety. All current discussions about depression and anxiety have been moved to the new group, and you will continue to get notifications about the discussions you participate in.

See the new group here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/depression-anxiety/.

– Follow the group
– Browse all topics
– Add a reply
– Start a new discussion

If you’re not sure how to do any of these things, see this step-by-step guide https://connect.mayoclinic.org/get-started-on-connect/.

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@anoushey

Yes, I do have ample family support thankfully but my anxiety is baddddd. I’m seeing the doctor again on the 1st and hoping for the best

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Mimi, I hope you are still in this loop. If so, can you tell me what your anxiety symptoms are? When I get a “spell” I truly feel like I’m about to die. Waves of nervousness, nausea, sense of doom. Yucky!!!!

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Sounds like a panic attack. Talk to your doctor, Valium helps to reduce and relax symptoms. Anxiety and panic attacks suck.

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Hi I hope things get better I am dealing with anxiety but I have been diagnosed with chronic pain crps I had a breakdown at the doctor office and I am currently taking gabapentin for nerve pain the doctor said that a family physcholgist comes in once a week and he had different meds he was going to put me on but want me to see her .

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@cyme

Hi I hope things get better I am dealing with anxiety but I have been diagnosed with chronic pain crps I had a breakdown at the doctor office and I am currently taking gabapentin for nerve pain the doctor said that a family physcholgist comes in once a week and he had different meds he was going to put me on but want me to see her .

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Hi, @cyme – sorry to hear you are dealing with chronic pain and also anxiety. It's understandable dealing with continual pain issues could lead to a breakdown.

I'd like to introduce you to @lizzyisme @annedodrill44 @anoushey @stressedmesseddepressed @cdcc @gailb, who may have some thoughts on living with anxiety.

What types of symptoms are you experiencing with your anxiety?

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I dont know I ha e an doctor appointment Friday for my anxieties and I will learn then as to what they will put me on for anxieties I am already taken gabapentin for my nerves and pain. I want listen in to what everyone else has to say

Liked by Lisa Lucier

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@cyme

I dont know I ha e an doctor appointment Friday for my anxieties and I will learn then as to what they will put me on for anxieties I am already taken gabapentin for my nerves and pain. I want listen in to what everyone else has to say

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Hi, @cyme – I'd also like to suggest you check out our Chronic Pain group, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/pain/. Will update this week about what your doctor recommends?

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