H. has a Wellness Check-up: How can I talk to his doctor?

@bettes
I am going to use the portal but don't know if the Doc. will see it in time.

@kartwk also call the office and tell them you have sent a message and to please advise the doctor of such. And/or make an appointment for a check up for yourself and discuss it with the doctor then. Oh, my. I wish I could help you more.

@bettes

Thanks Bettes. With all I am dealing with I didn't think t follow it through like that, but I will now.

@kartwk Please let us know what happens. I am really concerned about you. Yes, you absolutely can get through this, but it is hard, hard, hard. Been there, done that. Find something special for yourself—doesn’t have to cost much, maybe a special tea, or a new book series (I don’t think I could manage without my Kindle), and give yourself the gift of as much time as you can every day devoted to self care. You don’t just deserve it, you need it to survive. And you will. But please know you are not alone in this. You have many, many of us who care about YOU. All of our lives are precious, including your’s, dear girl. Bette

kartwk..

I sent examples of things my husband was saying and doing to my husband's neurologist prior to his first few appointments. I was able to send files to his patient portal online so the doctor could review it before my husband's appointment. That was 3 years ago. Now I speak to his doctor about everything in front of him. Honestly, I don't think he understands half of what I say now.

I think the lists were important for the first appointments because it helped with his diagnosis. I wanted to have him diagnosed right away so that he would have to stop driving.

@bettes , this is very true. Cohabitating with someone who has challenging behavior due to dementia is very stressful and frustrating. It requires a lot of energy and tolerance. Relying on others is important. The professional care providers we used were excellent and vital to my dad staying in the home. Still, it was hard. Planning can be beneficial.

The nature of dementia being progressive means it starts out bad and gets worse. There never was a time to relax and let things settle. New symptoms arise and things become more complicated and challenging. An experienced doctor will understand this and should be able to provide referrals, prescriptions and recommendations as needed.

@celia16
Thanks, Celia. Yes to all. We are blessed to have many good doctors following and helping us. Couldn’t manage otherwise. Ditto our caregivers. I don’t know what inspired me to buy long term insurance 25 years ago. But it has been a lifesaver. Hope all is well with you. Bette

@kartwk, how did the wellness check up go? Were you able to bring your concerns to his doctor?

@colleenyoung

Colleen thank you for thinking about me. It didn't go as well as I had hoped, even with my expressing my concerns. I am so disappointed.
I believe all this anxiety is why I came down with a bad case of the flue even though I had the flu shot in Oct. I understand it wasn't a good match.

Perhaps a new doctor is in order, one that specializes in older people. I get the impression that a Doc. that specializes in family practice looks on many things as just getting old. Whereas a doc that specializes in geriatrics KNOWS more about elderly people like us. That is what I am looking into.

No where, no how is H going to agree to go to a neurologist!

Going to start looking for a new Doc. If I make an appointment for me with one, he will follow along and do the same thing, so I won't have to explain why I am changing Docs.

@kartwk You can find a PCP that has background specialty in neurology but practices as a PCP maybe he will go if they aren’t presented as a “Neurologist”?