Husband refusing dialysis

Posted by angiede2001 @angiede2001, Mar 23, 2017

Just checking to be supported 🙂

@hopeful33250

@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

It was so good to hear from you again. My Easter was good. Went to church and spent time with family and friends. What about your Easter?

It sounds like as if your husband's "holding pattern" (as you call it) is a difficult one for you personally.

How are you personally doing with these challenges? Do you have enough support from family, friends, church etc? Are you able to get out and enjoy some time away from home?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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Sorry..didn't answer very quickly and then found out I had to redo my password. Phone isn't working well..so..frustration..avoidance. 🙂 I had a good Easter also. My kids came to church with us and then out to lunch. There were icy road conditions, so we all had to go home. Yes, this holding pattern is very hard. I tend to isolate some. I don't really know the answers to the questions people ask. We have always had some marital problems, so when I become angry, then I have to deal with guilt. His kidney functions was 17% 2 mo ago. The dr didn't believe it. The dr wanted him to redo it in a week, but of course, Jack didn't. Jack had it redone yesterday, and his level is 18%. Creatinine is down below 4 again (from 6.8). I think he feels better, so he has more energy and can enjoy upsetting me…how is that for honesty 🙁

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@hopeful33250

@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

It was so good to hear from you again. My Easter was good. Went to church and spent time with family and friends. What about your Easter?

It sounds like as if your husband's "holding pattern" (as you call it) is a difficult one for you personally.

How are you personally doing with these challenges? Do you have enough support from family, friends, church etc? Are you able to get out and enjoy some time away from home?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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Potassium is low, but I think they will fix that pretty easily…pills for 3 days, then increase it in his diet.

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@hopeful33250

@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

It was so good to hear from you again. My Easter was good. Went to church and spent time with family and friends. What about your Easter?

It sounds like as if your husband's "holding pattern" (as you call it) is a difficult one for you personally.

How are you personally doing with these challenges? Do you have enough support from family, friends, church etc? Are you able to get out and enjoy some time away from home?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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so sorry, Ozys. Sounds as though you were really close to him.

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Sorry, Ozys. Sounds as though you guys were really close

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@hopeful33250

@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

It was so good to hear from you again. My Easter was good. Went to church and spent time with family and friends. What about your Easter?

It sounds like as if your husband's "holding pattern" (as you call it) is a difficult one for you personally.

How are you personally doing with these challenges? Do you have enough support from family, friends, church etc? Are you able to get out and enjoy some time away from home?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

Jump to this post

I wrote an answer, but it didn't go anywhere :). He is at 18% now, and creatinine is under 4. We have never gotten along well so as he begins to feel better, he seems to have the strength to enjoy upsetting me more. Jekyll and Hyde routine. I don't do really well with the challenges..tend to isolate, coz don't like to be judged for telling the story of how it really can be. I do have a friend or two that I share with. I am in a Bible study, Sunday School class and choir.. good church folks, but not too many I will really share with. Even my best friend..feel like she is avoiding some of the conversation I need to spill. She told me that she thought I would be handling this better, as a Christian. She is prob. trying to avoid making such a HUGE error again. It may help to spill to you. We need a lot of work done on the house, and I will have to fight with him, because he doesn't want anyone messing with his stuff ( garage..measurement, house needs to be jacked up). His potassium was low, but they are just going to give him a supplement for 3 days and then have me increase it in his diet.

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@hopeful33250

@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

It was so good to hear from you again. My Easter was good. Went to church and spent time with family and friends. What about your Easter?

It sounds like as if your husband's "holding pattern" (as you call it) is a difficult one for you personally.

How are you personally doing with these challenges? Do you have enough support from family, friends, church etc? Are you able to get out and enjoy some time away from home?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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Hi angiede2001: Over the last couple of years with hubby who suffered damaged kidneys and several UTI's was somewhat hard to deal with toward the end. His numbers were comparable to your husbands. Some of my friends who have experienced urology and kidney problems report an experience of allusions, unreal expectations from their loved ones. One might say a mental break down and some nastiness comes out with unreal dreams at night which the patient takes as a real experience. Many days my husband didn't understand why I didn't know what he was talking about. Sometimes he lived in a totally different world. I just went along with whatever he said was the truth for the day. His appetite was terrible and as I understood the disease, there was a reason why he didn't want to eat. The urea
had built up so high that it affected the taste of everything that was offered to him. So sorry you are alone. I know what that can do to
your mental well being. You are to be commended for "handling it", our friends who have not been through the 24/7 care giving role can]
not judge us nor should they? In the end, most people just don't want to hear bad news. It got so I just couldn't reach out to friends because it was the same old story for 12 years. Hang in there and do the best you can for yourself, which is hard and know you are
doing the hardest job in the world.
Best wishes,
ozys

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Thank you, Ozys(did I get it right). Some days are better, as I am sure you know.

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Hello @angiede2001 and @ozys

I so admire the way you share and support each other! I'm happy to have you both part of the Connect group. I always say that Connect is a place where we learn from each other and that is certainly true in your posts.

Teresa

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Ty..you are always reaching out, also..

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@angiede2001

Ty..you are always reaching out, also..

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Hello @angiede2001

I've been thinking about you and just wondering how you are managing with your husband's illness and his unwillingness to seek treatment.

Are you managing OK? Has his disability changed much or does it remain the same?

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New labs in Sept. He actually got back to stage 4 coz his kidneys were perfused better when they brought his bp up. Sleeps a lot…very winded with any exertion. Ty so much for checking on me once in awhile. How are you? I forget your association with kidney disease..I have gotten all mixed up.

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