Husband refusing dialysis

Posted by angiede2001 @angiede2001, Mar 23, 2017

Just checking to be supported 🙂

@hopeful33250

@meggotty Thank you for sharing the approach that your husband is taking. As we share experiences, we really do learn from each other. Teresa

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Hi Angie @angiede2001

I’ve been thinking about you and since we haven’t heard from you in a while, I was wondering how your husband is doing. Any changes in his symptoms or his willingness to try dialysis or any other type of treatment?

Teresa

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@hopeful33250

@meggotty Thank you for sharing the approach that your husband is taking. As we share experiences, we really do learn from each other. Teresa

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Nope.  I buy low salt spaghetti sauce, and he salts the water  🙂  Kindof how it is going.  He has the right I guess to just live out his life as he pleases.  I make some kidney friendly recipes, and I figure some of that is better than none.  He can't speak more than 1 or 2 words at a time after climbing stairs..that is new.  Thank you for checking on me.  He is going 6 mo without an appointment to see the dr. coz he didn't get his lab work done…got me a pt in denial here.  Thank you for checking up on us.  We'll just keep him as long as God lets us:)

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@hopeful33250

@meggotty Thank you for sharing the approach that your husband is taking. As we share experiences, we really do learn from each other. Teresa

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Hi Angie @angiede2001

I’m sorry to hear that your husband’s symptoms are getting worse, however, I suppose it is to be expected since he is not following a treatment plan that has been recommend.

It sounds like you have developed a realistic attitude to his unwillingness to help himself and that is a good thing for your peace of mind. We can’t expect to change anyone but ourselves and to think otherwise would be counterproductive at this time.

Please keep in touch with us and let us know how you are doing.

Teresa

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@hopeful33250

@meggotty Thank you for sharing the approach that your husband is taking. As we share experiences, we really do learn from each other. Teresa

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you give such wonderful responses..bless you

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@hopeful33250

@meggotty Thank you for sharing the approach that your husband is taking. As we share experiences, we really do learn from each other. Teresa

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Angie, @angiede2001

At Mayo Connect we seek to encourage and support people during difficult times – we are pleased to have you in our community and to be able to lighten your load just a bit.

Teresa

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@hopeful33250

@meggotty Thank you for sharing the approach that your husband is taking. As we share experiences, we really do learn from each other. Teresa

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@angiede2001

Hi Angie:

As we approach year’s end, I was thinking about you. As we haven’t heard from you in a while, I wanted to touch base and see how you were doing. Is your husband’s condition about the same?

I hope that you are taking good care of yourself. I wish you a good holiday season.

Teresa

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I feel so special when you reach out to me…there just isn’t much to tell. He hasn’t changed his mind, and he went to see the stint Dr, but wouldn’t set up an appointment, so now he isn’t even getting labs. I have decided not to worry about it…the numbers just scare me, and he refuses to acknowledge that they need to be acted on. We are just waiting for the emergency and hoping it won’t be too late. He is just weaker…hungry for air, if up and down stairs too much, for example…only change I see. You have a wonderful Christmas!!!

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Hello Angie @angiede2001

Thank you so much for checking in and letting us know how you are doing. I certainly feel for you – this is a very hard situation for you to wait for an emergency and not be able to do anything to avert or delay it. I admire your courage and your determination “not to worry about it.” This seems to be the most reasonable approach you can take right now.

Remember we are here for you whenever you need to talk. Best wishes to you for a good Christmas and a wonderful 2018!

Teresa

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@angiede2001, I want to send my love and prayers to you and to your husband.

I was once ‘where’ your husband is at now, and my husband was at my side. The comfort of his love and his presence meant everything to me. Although it can be difficult to put into words, and he may not voice it, I want you to know that your love, presence and support are the best medicine for your dear husband right now.
I wish for you and him to enjoy a Blessed Christmas.
Rosemary

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@rosemarya

@angiede2001, I want to send my love and prayers to you and to your husband.

I was once ‘where’ your husband is at now, and my husband was at my side. The comfort of his love and his presence meant everything to me. Although it can be difficult to put into words, and he may not voice it, I want you to know that your love, presence and support are the best medicine for your dear husband right now.
I wish for you and him to enjoy a Blessed Christmas.
Rosemary

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Ty..you are so good to me!

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@hopeful33250

Hello Angie @angiede2001

Thank you so much for checking in and letting us know how you are doing. I certainly feel for you – this is a very hard situation for you to wait for an emergency and not be able to do anything to avert or delay it. I admire your courage and your determination “not to worry about it.” This seems to be the most reasonable approach you can take right now.

Remember we are here for you whenever you need to talk. Best wishes to you for a good Christmas and a wonderful 2018!

Teresa

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Ty..you have an awesome Christmas also.  God bless you.

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@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

I've been thinking about you as we approach the Easter holiday. How are you doing?

I look forward to hearing from you when you have an opportunity to post.

Teresa

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@hopeful33250

@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

I've been thinking about you as we approach the Easter holiday. How are you doing?

I look forward to hearing from you when you have an opportunity to post.

Teresa

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I love that you continue to keep in touch with me.We don't know what to think. His function got to 6.7%. Next lab it was 17%. Dr didn't believe it..wanted him to redo it in a week…course he didn't. Next one is for 3 mo later. He had such low bp, that it is possible that stopping his high bp meds finally worked to help his kidneys. So, we are just in a holding pattern. Things seem about the same, as far as symptoms..sleepy and ended. I hope you had a good Easter! Angie

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@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

It was so good to hear from you again. My Easter was good. Went to church and spent time with family and friends. What about your Easter?

It sounds like as if your husband's "holding pattern" (as you call it) is a difficult one for you personally.

How are you personally doing with these challenges? Do you have enough support from family, friends, church etc? Are you able to get out and enjoy some time away from home?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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@hopeful33250

@angiede2001 Hello Angie:

It was so good to hear from you again. My Easter was good. Went to church and spent time with family and friends. What about your Easter?

It sounds like as if your husband's "holding pattern" (as you call it) is a difficult one for you personally.

How are you personally doing with these challenges? Do you have enough support from family, friends, church etc? Are you able to get out and enjoy some time away from home?

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Teresa

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Hi @angiede2001
I certainly can relate to the "holding pattern" Yes, we want to see our loved ones get better each day but when that does not happen, we become discouraged. That is so normal for the caregiver to feel a moment of despair. I have experienced that feeling many times when I was taking care of my husband in the last years of his life; however, I also knew that it was one more day that I had him in my life to enjoy even though he was very sick and needed constant attention. If you can get away for several hours or have friends over to break the
tension, that would help. In my journey, I did have help three days a week which was a very big deal for me even if only 2 hours each time. I also put myself on the treadmill everyday for 20 minutes each day which helped with the stress. Please know you are not alone
in your quest for better health for your loved one. Several weeks ago, I lost the love of life and now realize the "holding pattern" was one more day with him. Take care!! ozys

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