How to have relationships while living with depression?

Posted by marjou @marjou, Jun 21, 2020

Need some help in coping or pointers in how to best handle relationships whether family,dating, friends. Because my depression is the constant factor every day, I isolate in a way as to not subject others to my depressive state which I have to live with but they do not. Feel it's not fair to them or they just avoid me. When to tell or not to tell someone especially if trying to date?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety group.

@colleenyoung

@davej, I'm so grateful that you noticed that @marjou had not posted for some time.

@marjou, I just checked your settings and noticed that your email had bounced and that you were no longer getting email notifications from the community. I have reinstated your email and look forward to hearing from you. How are you doing?

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Thank you, thank you, thank you for checking in! I wondered what happened and dealing with poor internet service couldn't connect. I treasure this website💞

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@davej

I have not seen you post anything, so I'm hoping that everything is going ok for you. Well take care of yourself stay warm and enjoy the change in colors while the leaves are still on the trees dave

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@davej Don't know what happened besides poor internet in my area. Was wondering why I was no longer getting notified on Mayo Connect even after signing in. Thank you so much for noticing and checking in! Appreciate this website so much as it keeps me in touch with such kind, helpful people. Have started babysitting for just two clients with mask on, but NM COVID numbers have gone up again and need somewhat lock down again…ugh. Depression unrelenting but muddling through.

How are you doing? Noticed your profile states you like to dance. Me too and miss it so much. We just had first snow of the season with a foot of it. Nice to be able to keep in touch again.
Thanks

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@marjou

@davej Don't know what happened besides poor internet in my area. Was wondering why I was no longer getting notified on Mayo Connect even after signing in. Thank you so much for noticing and checking in! Appreciate this website so much as it keeps me in touch with such kind, helpful people. Have started babysitting for just two clients with mask on, but NM COVID numbers have gone up again and need somewhat lock down again…ugh. Depression unrelenting but muddling through.

How are you doing? Noticed your profile states you like to dance. Me too and miss it so much. We just had first snow of the season with a foot of it. Nice to be able to keep in touch again.
Thanks

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I LOVE to dance but am suffering badly with osteoporosis. 18 broken bones 2018 doctors dam fault had me on too much blood pressure medication and every time I stood up passed out broke bones. Stood up one night fell on my back on hardwood floors and broke 5 ribs took my breath away. I just lay there until I could crawl to the bed. Then starting taking my own blood pressure woke up one morning 60/40 passed out in toilet and put 2 more fractures in my spine. She said to me your too thin your falling over and breaking bones….. I was angry and snapped back and said “ that’s YOUR fault” she won’t treat me anymore thank goodness she told head of medical centre she can’t cope with me. She was too interested in telling me about her $200 eyelashes that she had to brush buying new clothes to keep up with the young ones in the medical centre and going to the races and buying facinators with a TV presenter her husband is a TV news presenter. Thank god I have a new doctor. But unfortunately the broken bones in my foot ache and I want to learn to dance swing so am desperately trying new vitamins from a girl that’s studied nutrition. That stupid doctor sent me to endocrinologist and she wanted me to inject myself every day with this stuff. My nutritionist said it does make your bones stronger but just fills them with putty you need to repair the bones need nutrients from food and these really good vitamins they are expensive but the ingredients don’t come from China and what they say on the bottle is actually in the bottle a lot don’t. So I am hoping I can get back to dancing I just love it it makes me happy and it’s such great fun which we all need now

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@rjmorton8

I LOVE to dance but am suffering badly with osteoporosis. 18 broken bones 2018 doctors dam fault had me on too much blood pressure medication and every time I stood up passed out broke bones. Stood up one night fell on my back on hardwood floors and broke 5 ribs took my breath away. I just lay there until I could crawl to the bed. Then starting taking my own blood pressure woke up one morning 60/40 passed out in toilet and put 2 more fractures in my spine. She said to me your too thin your falling over and breaking bones….. I was angry and snapped back and said “ that’s YOUR fault” she won’t treat me anymore thank goodness she told head of medical centre she can’t cope with me. She was too interested in telling me about her $200 eyelashes that she had to brush buying new clothes to keep up with the young ones in the medical centre and going to the races and buying facinators with a TV presenter her husband is a TV news presenter. Thank god I have a new doctor. But unfortunately the broken bones in my foot ache and I want to learn to dance swing so am desperately trying new vitamins from a girl that’s studied nutrition. That stupid doctor sent me to endocrinologist and she wanted me to inject myself every day with this stuff. My nutritionist said it does make your bones stronger but just fills them with putty you need to repair the bones need nutrients from food and these really good vitamins they are expensive but the ingredients don’t come from China and what they say on the bottle is actually in the bottle a lot don’t. So I am hoping I can get back to dancing I just love it it makes me happy and it’s such great fun which we all need now

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Hi! I too love to dance but my husband does not. I needed good, fun exercise besides the gym and discovered Body Groove dancing. What a great way to get in shape at your own pace! Dance your own way, join a fantastic, supportive group of people who become your cheer leaders as you work to improve your life (a private Facebook group you just have to join for free) you can dance in your home, and make whatever modifications you need for doing the moves -like some who are recovering from injuries, surgery, bad knees, bone issues, might do it at first by sitting, or like I do with a painful bunion I do not do any jumping, etc. I think this might be perfect for you to get going. Add strength without doing heavy weights and enjoy dancing even before you are ready to tackle that swing dance ?which i also love!) It is found at Bodyvrooveondemad.com and there is a Facebook group by that name ( Body Groove On-Demand) you can search for to request to join. The access to the dances on line is one price ($60) for a full year access and might even be on sale right now. I do the 30 day challenge, the workout of the Day and am going to try the other options like Young at Heart which has gentler moves, that are included in the one price. I bought a combo DVD set to do when my year is done, though I will likely renew the online demand one too.. I know i soundi like a commercial, but this dance exercise has changed the lives of so many , including mine,, and you seem like you could really benefit!! just join the Facebook group and read the comments to see what you think.

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@rjmorton8

I LOVE to dance but am suffering badly with osteoporosis. 18 broken bones 2018 doctors dam fault had me on too much blood pressure medication and every time I stood up passed out broke bones. Stood up one night fell on my back on hardwood floors and broke 5 ribs took my breath away. I just lay there until I could crawl to the bed. Then starting taking my own blood pressure woke up one morning 60/40 passed out in toilet and put 2 more fractures in my spine. She said to me your too thin your falling over and breaking bones….. I was angry and snapped back and said “ that’s YOUR fault” she won’t treat me anymore thank goodness she told head of medical centre she can’t cope with me. She was too interested in telling me about her $200 eyelashes that she had to brush buying new clothes to keep up with the young ones in the medical centre and going to the races and buying facinators with a TV presenter her husband is a TV news presenter. Thank god I have a new doctor. But unfortunately the broken bones in my foot ache and I want to learn to dance swing so am desperately trying new vitamins from a girl that’s studied nutrition. That stupid doctor sent me to endocrinologist and she wanted me to inject myself every day with this stuff. My nutritionist said it does make your bones stronger but just fills them with putty you need to repair the bones need nutrients from food and these really good vitamins they are expensive but the ingredients don’t come from China and what they say on the bottle is actually in the bottle a lot don’t. So I am hoping I can get back to dancing I just love it it makes me happy and it’s such great fun which we all need now

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Hi there! Glad to meet a fellow dancer. Yes, it would be great to dance again! At times I do dance by myself at home, but this staying at home situation and the upcoming family holidays are feeding into my depression big time. Am grateful for babysitting which gets me out of the house.
By the way, I'm on blood pressure medication and wonder what dosage is too much that would cause such brittle bones.
From one fellow dancer to another…we will dance again!

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@grandmaraines

Hi! I too love to dance but my husband does not. I needed good, fun exercise besides the gym and discovered Body Groove dancing. What a great way to get in shape at your own pace! Dance your own way, join a fantastic, supportive group of people who become your cheer leaders as you work to improve your life (a private Facebook group you just have to join for free) you can dance in your home, and make whatever modifications you need for doing the moves -like some who are recovering from injuries, surgery, bad knees, bone issues, might do it at first by sitting, or like I do with a painful bunion I do not do any jumping, etc. I think this might be perfect for you to get going. Add strength without doing heavy weights and enjoy dancing even before you are ready to tackle that swing dance ?which i also love!) It is found at Bodyvrooveondemad.com and there is a Facebook group by that name ( Body Groove On-Demand) you can search for to request to join. The access to the dances on line is one price ($60) for a full year access and might even be on sale right now. I do the 30 day challenge, the workout of the Day and am going to try the other options like Young at Heart which has gentler moves, that are included in the one price. I bought a combo DVD set to do when my year is done, though I will likely renew the online demand one too.. I know i soundi like a commercial, but this dance exercise has changed the lives of so many , including mine,, and you seem like you could really benefit!! just join the Facebook group and read the comments to see what you think.

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@ grandmaraines Appreciate the info and will check it out!

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@marjou

Hi there! Glad to meet a fellow dancer. Yes, it would be great to dance again! At times I do dance by myself at home, but this staying at home situation and the upcoming family holidays are feeding into my depression big time. Am grateful for babysitting which gets me out of the house.
By the way, I'm on blood pressure medication and wonder what dosage is too much that would cause such brittle bones.
From one fellow dancer to another…we will dance again!

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Hi there I had brittle bones before I started on blood pressure medication. I was had anexoria and bulimia all my life and that’s the main cause of my brittle bones. I also did the Hawaiian Ironman triathlon doing long hours of hard training for over 7 years on bad nutrition. My eating disorder started when I was 11 and sexually abused. It’s only as I got older that I had to start on blood pressure medication. But I lost about 5 kg I don’t know what that is in pounds as I am an Aussie and the doctor did not adjust my blood pressure medication. Your doctor should always take your blood pressure mine was too interested in telling me about her $200 eyelashes and having to brush them. I have a new doctor now. If you can dance at home that’s great always put on some music you love during the day it makes you feel better. It’s 33 degrees here in Queensland today which is hot I don’t know where you are but I am trying to go for a swim to help with my depression and muscles take care of yourself

REPLY
@grandmaraines

Hi! I too love to dance but my husband does not. I needed good, fun exercise besides the gym and discovered Body Groove dancing. What a great way to get in shape at your own pace! Dance your own way, join a fantastic, supportive group of people who become your cheer leaders as you work to improve your life (a private Facebook group you just have to join for free) you can dance in your home, and make whatever modifications you need for doing the moves -like some who are recovering from injuries, surgery, bad knees, bone issues, might do it at first by sitting, or like I do with a painful bunion I do not do any jumping, etc. I think this might be perfect for you to get going. Add strength without doing heavy weights and enjoy dancing even before you are ready to tackle that swing dance ?which i also love!) It is found at Bodyvrooveondemad.com and there is a Facebook group by that name ( Body Groove On-Demand) you can search for to request to join. The access to the dances on line is one price ($60) for a full year access and might even be on sale right now. I do the 30 day challenge, the workout of the Day and am going to try the other options like Young at Heart which has gentler moves, that are included in the one price. I bought a combo DVD set to do when my year is done, though I will likely renew the online demand one too.. I know i soundi like a commercial, but this dance exercise has changed the lives of so many , including mine,, and you seem like you could really benefit!! just join the Facebook group and read the comments to see what you think.

Jump to this post

Hi there yes lovely to meet a fellow dancer, we have a dancer in Aussie who was in Strictly Ballroom I think the movie was. Her name is Sonja Kruger she has a website called Strictly you I think. She was great when the Aussies were first locked Dow we could sign up for a month or so free and she teaches dancing. I did try it but my pain was intense then and could not keep up. But it was great fun

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@rjmorton8

Hi there I had brittle bones before I started on blood pressure medication. I was had anexoria and bulimia all my life and that’s the main cause of my brittle bones. I also did the Hawaiian Ironman triathlon doing long hours of hard training for over 7 years on bad nutrition. My eating disorder started when I was 11 and sexually abused. It’s only as I got older that I had to start on blood pressure medication. But I lost about 5 kg I don’t know what that is in pounds as I am an Aussie and the doctor did not adjust my blood pressure medication. Your doctor should always take your blood pressure mine was too interested in telling me about her $200 eyelashes and having to brush them. I have a new doctor now. If you can dance at home that’s great always put on some music you love during the day it makes you feel better. It’s 33 degrees here in Queensland today which is hot I don’t know where you are but I am trying to go for a swim to help with my depression and muscles take care of yourself

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Swimming is my preferred exercise- i have been a Red Cross swim instructor for over 48 yrs. It is great for brittle bones as it supports the body without all the pull of gravity. I am in Maine, USA so since all the indoor pools are closed for Covid there is no swimming for me.

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@grandmaraines

Hi! I too love to dance but my husband does not. I needed good, fun exercise besides the gym and discovered Body Groove dancing. What a great way to get in shape at your own pace! Dance your own way, join a fantastic, supportive group of people who become your cheer leaders as you work to improve your life (a private Facebook group you just have to join for free) you can dance in your home, and make whatever modifications you need for doing the moves -like some who are recovering from injuries, surgery, bad knees, bone issues, might do it at first by sitting, or like I do with a painful bunion I do not do any jumping, etc. I think this might be perfect for you to get going. Add strength without doing heavy weights and enjoy dancing even before you are ready to tackle that swing dance ?which i also love!) It is found at Bodyvrooveondemad.com and there is a Facebook group by that name ( Body Groove On-Demand) you can search for to request to join. The access to the dances on line is one price ($60) for a full year access and might even be on sale right now. I do the 30 day challenge, the workout of the Day and am going to try the other options like Young at Heart which has gentler moves, that are included in the one price. I bought a combo DVD set to do when my year is done, though I will likely renew the online demand one too.. I know i soundi like a commercial, but this dance exercise has changed the lives of so many , including mine,, and you seem like you could really benefit!! just join the Facebook group and read the comments to see what you think.

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Oops. Website i gave for dance exercise was spelled wrong. It is bodygrooveondemand.com

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@marjou

@ grandmaraines Appreciate the info and will check it out!

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I misspelled the website. It is bodygrooveondemand.com

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@rossjt

In my experience, isolation only makes the depression worse, but people don't understand the energy it takes to try and make conversation, go do things, etc. I have been told to fight the "demon" and fake it 'til I make it. Have you tried different anti-depressant medications? After two years, I am finally on one that is helping. I am still depressed, but am not thinking of ending my life anymore. I would advise being up front about your depression. That is the only way that stigma surrounding mental health will get better. Also, if a date shies away because you are experiencing depression, they are not the right person for you anyway. Some people are more susceptible to the common cold and some of us are more susceptible to depression.

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@rossjt Can relate to your comments about the energy it takes to do almost anything like get out of bed, take a shower, etc. Have been on multiple meds with no luck. In desperation I just started Trintellix but no results thus far.

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