1. < Aging Well

How do you deal with aging?

Posted by prcrowe @prcrowe, Jan 1 10:04pm

How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life? I'm turning 80 years old in 5 months, am in quite good health, work fulltime, and am incredibly grateful for the life I have. But, I find myself obsessed with the thought that I only have "x" amount of years left in my life. I've never figured out how to live one day at a time. Any suggestions from those of you around my age or older would be SO appreciated! (I'm "kind of" spiritual, but not really religious so that's not something that seems to help with my fear.)

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prcrowe | @prcrowe | Jan 2 1:58pm

I'm really glad you joined this conversation. It helps me so much not only to read the various suggestions, but also to know that I'm not alone with my concerns/worries. 🙂

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cindisue | @cindisue | Jan 2 2:01pm
In reply to @mydogsbestfriend "Now 76 with minor ( to me) health issues. My mental state is, I have been..." + (show)
@mydogsbestfriend

Now 76 with minor ( to me) health issues. My mental state is, I have been dying since the day I was born. IE we will all die someday, I have ups & downs, some anxiety. I try to ‘treat myself’ even if loved ones don’t treat me; my dog is my best friend. I have mobility issues but force myself, mentally and physically to get moving regardless of how I feel, I don’t always succeed but try to look forward to the next day and have plans for the next day, to do nothing or something. I am religious and spiritual but stopped going to a physical church the past 2 years for personal reasons. I do not miss interactions in a church. It’s hard to get moving but I force myself.

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Good for you! That's the key...a good attitude! Keep it up! And great advice!

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prcrowe | @prcrowe | Jan 2 2:42pm
In reply to @sueinmn "I am a little younger, only 72, but have the same thoughts of less time. So..." + (show)
@sueinmn

I am a little younger, only 72, but have the same thoughts of less time. So if anything interests me, I dive right in. Like Dan I have stopped being concerned about saving money and more willing to spend on myself and others. We have always given freely to charity, but now are focusing on causes that align with our values, and are often too small to benefit from publicity or promotion by famous people. We are also working with 3 generations to make this a family endeavor that will hopefully outlive us. I also am embracing my role as matriarch (oldest in a large family) and building a few family traditions that will be maintainable for the next 3 generations.
Sue

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Thanks so much for sharing your feelings and such great suggestions, Sue! I'm overwhelmed by how many responses I'm getting and it reassures me that I'm definitely not the only one in my general age range going through exactly what I'm experiencing. I'm copying and printing out every response and plan to actually keep the pages in a binder. These conversations are definitely less expensive than therapy! LOL!!

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janeaddams | @janeaddams | Jan 2 2:52pm

85 here and learning a lot from all of you (with age comes wisdom if you hang around with the right people.) While I continue to be shocked when I consider what (my favorite depressed Irish poet) Philip Larkin calls "the only end of age" I am also beginning to accept it (as if I have a choice.) Never religious, I discovered insight-oriented mindfulness meditation about 15 years ago and find it enormously helpful now. Learning to live in the moment, accept impermanence as a fact of life, and continuing to learn the practice, now only virtually, has been a game-changer for me. All these tips help, but how could we not be thinking about our imminent demise? Everyone I know who's open with me says the same and BTW, since funeral attending is my main social activity these days, hard not to be aware of what's coming ... talking about it with others helps me... and ironic laughter. Too serious not to laugh ...

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1 reply
prcrowe | @prcrowe | Jan 2 3:04pm
In reply to @janeaddams "85 here and learning a lot from all of you (with age comes wisdom if you..." + (show)
@janeaddams

85 here and learning a lot from all of you (with age comes wisdom if you hang around with the right people.) While I continue to be shocked when I consider what (my favorite depressed Irish poet) Philip Larkin calls "the only end of age" I am also beginning to accept it (as if I have a choice.) Never religious, I discovered insight-oriented mindfulness meditation about 15 years ago and find it enormously helpful now. Learning to live in the moment, accept impermanence as a fact of life, and continuing to learn the practice, now only virtually, has been a game-changer for me. All these tips help, but how could we not be thinking about our imminent demise? Everyone I know who's open with me says the same and BTW, since funeral attending is my main social activity these days, hard not to be aware of what's coming ... talking about it with others helps me... and ironic laughter. Too serious not to laugh ...

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Jane, your comments and insights are wonderful! I do have a question regarding "accepting impermanence" and continuing to learn the practice. Several years ago I took a mindfulness class in person and at that time it was really helpful. I've forgotten most of what I learned. Exactly how are you applying YOUR practice? Thanks!

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1 reply
janeaddams | @janeaddams | Jan 2 3:23pm
In reply to @prcrowe "Jane, your comments and insights are wonderful! I do have a question regarding "accepting impermanence" and..." + (show)
@prcrowe

Jane, your comments and insights are wonderful! I do have a question regarding "accepting impermanence" and continuing to learn the practice. Several years ago I took a mindfulness class in person and at that time it was really helpful. I've forgotten most of what I learned. Exactly how are you applying YOUR practice? Thanks!

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Studied for a week with John Kabat-Zinn in CA (changed my life) ... and that got me started. I had to go for work, and was highly skeptical (a Midwesterner) but became a believer. I recommend his book "Full Catastrophe Living" for a blueprint. Continue to meditate at home and online with the community at the Insight Meditation Center in Woodacre, CA, where I traveled yearly until Covid, now virtually online. I can't keep it going without regular attendance with others, not that disciplined. I'm still a beginner, so much to learn; good luck with it.

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1 reply
casey1329 | @casey1329 | Jan 2 4:11pm

I get what you are saying. I'm 72 and don't want to postpone taking a nice vacation because who knows what next year can bring. There' no easy answer. I think the best thing is to do something nice for yourself sooner rather than later and enjoy it...good luck .

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prcrowe | @prcrowe | Jan 2 4:26pm

Thanks! I'm discovering not only that there are SO many who feel as I do, but it continually reminds me how very fortunate I am. To remind myself that I chose a career 42 years ago that has no age limit is HUGE and everyone's reminder to embrace "today" is a great suggestion rather than worrying about all the tomorrows. Mayo Clinic's subjects are amazing and to think that these conversations are free is awesome! 🙂

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prcrowe | @prcrowe | Jan 2 4:36pm
In reply to @janeaddams "Studied for a week with John Kabat-Zinn in CA (changed my life) ... and that got..." + (show)
@janeaddams

Studied for a week with John Kabat-Zinn in CA (changed my life) ... and that got me started. I had to go for work, and was highly skeptical (a Midwesterner) but became a believer. I recommend his book "Full Catastrophe Living" for a blueprint. Continue to meditate at home and online with the community at the Insight Meditation Center in Woodacre, CA, where I traveled yearly until Covid, now virtually online. I can't keep it going without regular attendance with others, not that disciplined. I'm still a beginner, so much to learn; good luck with it.

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Jane, I had to smile when I read your comment about having studied with John Kabat-Zinn because I was introduced to his teachings a number of years ago. I haven't followed through, but will definitely look up any articles or podcasts that he might have online. Thanks so much for this reminder! I'll have to check your suggestion about meditating with Insight Meditation Center in Woodacre. My meditation practices have really slipped the past few years. 🙁

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prcrowe | @prcrowe | Jan 2 4:42pm
In reply to @casey1329 "I get what you are saying. I'm 72 and don't want to postpone taking a nice..." + (show)
@casey1329

I get what you are saying. I'm 72 and don't want to postpone taking a nice vacation because who knows what next year can bring. There' no easy answer. I think the best thing is to do something nice for yourself sooner rather than later and enjoy it...good luck .

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Casey, your suggestion not to postpone things is excellent. My very worst habit is continually postponing exercising. I live minutes from the beach and in the past simply walking in our community or on the beach every day was so uplifting. It's SO easy to get out of the habit! 🙁 I will say that I do not postpone vacations so that's always something to look forward to, but also takes me away from learning to live for "today" rather than in the future.

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