How do you deal with aging?

Posted by prcrowe @prcrowe, Jan 1 10:04pm

How do you emotionally handle aging and knowing that you only have a limited number of years left in your life? I'm turning 80 years old in 5 months, am in quite good health, work fulltime, and am incredibly grateful for the life I have. But, I find myself obsessed with the thought that I only have "x" amount of years left in my life. I've never figured out how to live one day at a time. Any suggestions from those of you around my age or older would be SO appreciated! (I'm "kind of" spiritual, but not really religious so that's not something that seems to help with my fear.)

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

Just live day to day, and try not to think of your time left.
My dad always said he would not live past 81 or 82, but he was going strong at over 100.
One never knows.

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@sueinmn

I am a little younger, only 72, but have the same thoughts of less time. So if anything interests me, I dive right in. Like Dan I have stopped being concerned about saving money and more willing to spend on myself and others. We have always given freely to charity, but now are focusing on causes that align with our values, and are often too small to benefit from publicity or promotion by famous people. We are also working with 3 generations to make this a family endeavor that will hopefully outlive us. I also am embracing my role as matriarch (oldest in a large family) and building a few family traditions that will be maintainable for the next 3 generations.
Sue

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Sue you spend a lot of time in your garden, that’s good. Keeps the mind occupied.

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@funcountess

Just live day to day, and try not to think of your time left.
My dad always said he would not live past 81 or 82, but he was going strong at over 100.
One never knows.

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Wow! That's amazing that your dad was still going strong at 100+!! I tend to think about the ages my mother and maternal grandma passed, but your comment makes me realize that my "calculating" based on their ages is useless. 😉

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@casey1329

I get what you are saying. I'm 72 and don't want to postpone taking a nice vacation because who knows what next year can bring. There' no easy answer. I think the best thing is to do something nice for yourself sooner rather than later and enjoy it...good luck .

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I guess the two vacations I've got planned for 2024 is a good idea! 🙂 One is to stay with a great granddaughter while her baby sister is born and the other is a camping (actually "glamping) trip! I have to say AGAIN how very awesome this website is when it comes to sharing ideas/fears/suggestions/etc.

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It's good to read these responses. I am almost 85(feb) and find it hard to believe I am this old...(am hoping to make it to 90 without running out of $)...I find if I just focus on my art and writing, time slithers by. But I do get a little pannicked that I won't have my projects ready on time for show or publication. I decided about 3 yrs ago to let other things slide(housework...stressful friendships/certain unfun social events etc) so as not to waste precious time. Instead I relax with my first coffee every morning in the garden and then start my day in the studio even if it is noon...give thanks to the Ancestors for my good fortune to be able to create and for my tolerant friends that seem to understand my work and be there for me and I for them. I realize that Life is so precious that it should be honoured and celebrated everyday. If we are lucky and can discover our bliss and follow it we will have the courage to love and be happy....and maybe help a friend be happy too. Then leave(live??) in peace for elswhere.

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Great question and responses… I am 79 years old, and am aware of time running out in a positive way. I wake everyday grateful for another one and write the reasons why and what will I do that day that brings me pleasure and enjoyment…. I am fortunate to still have my husband (76 years old) and many independent, funny and caring Senior women friends that are active.
I do find I am more and more content to stay home with my Animals and reading a good book. I have my health issues, and procrastinate in exercising enough but do eat mostly organic plant base foods. I now have peace and focus on being more loving and supportive of people in my life.

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Until I reached 77, I felt I was 50. I couldn't understand people's problems who were 79, my age now.
In the last two years I've discovered I ache horribly when I get up in the morning, my gait is different so I can't walk as smoothly and I can't run for the life of me, I fall asleep while watching TV without being aware of it, I'm nervous driving on freeways, and my short term memory is bad.
Now I'm old. I say this because it's true, although my younger friends all protest, "you're not old!" What am I, then? Young? Middle-aged? Elderly? Hah! They think "old" is a bad word because they haven't gotten here yet.

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I'm 74, and feel I'm just getting started. I have projects and learning plans that will take me at least 25 years to follow through, assuming I don't have even more ideas. Besides that, life and the universe are so perplexing, amazing, sometimes beautiful and wonderful that I can set my head spinning with a few basic questions of what it's all about...if anything. I hope some day to feel that I've really done my best with what I had to give. Maybe some day.

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Wow! Ed, your answer is so uplifting & so positive. What a wonderful attitude you have! Thanks VERY much for sharing. I'm actually printing out the answers I'm receiving so that on days when I'm feeling "down" I can refer back to them. 🙂

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@magia

Until I reached 77, I felt I was 50. I couldn't understand people's problems who were 79, my age now.
In the last two years I've discovered I ache horribly when I get up in the morning, my gait is different so I can't walk as smoothly and I can't run for the life of me, I fall asleep while watching TV without being aware of it, I'm nervous driving on freeways, and my short term memory is bad.
Now I'm old. I say this because it's true, although my younger friends all protest, "you're not old!" What am I, then? Young? Middle-aged? Elderly? Hah! They think "old" is a bad word because they haven't gotten here yet.

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What happened, Magia? Was it a gradual change or was it more traumatic? I think the pandemic and all its repercussions set us all back and I don’t mean long Covid but the social implications and the overburdened
health care system. I speak from a Canadian perspective where our “free” health care has become very costly and overburdened with wait times and “burned out” health professionals who soldier on, bless their hearts!

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