How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Playboy magazine joke from back in the "Charlie's Angels" days:

College students enrolled in courses about ancient Egyptian plumbing techniques are pharaoh faucet majors.

The Scottish man, apologizing for his recent arrest for indecent exposure, explained that he'd been feeling a bit out of kilter, lately.

Noah was a fan of The Bard:

"Two bees, or not two bees, O' Lord?"

True Tales from New Jersey

My friend Bob is completely smashed, driving home.

Pulls up toward a red light and makes a whoopsie...hits the car in front of him.

And...it's a cop car.

So, .....they arrest him.

They put him in the backseat and go back to do some paperwork.

When they return, Bob is in the backseat, drunk as a fish, handcuffed...and completely laughing his head off.

The cop looks at Bob and goes, "just what the heck are you laughing at?"

Bob: (Laughing) "I can't believe I hit a cop car!!!"

++++

more tales from NJ. Man gets angry. Man loses it. Man drives his car into the lobby of the police station, with "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses blasting from his speakers.

All caught on tape:

Man crashes vehicle into police station while blasting Guns N' Roses, police say:

Problems that are overblown:
--quicksand
--people offering me drugs
--getting lost in the Bermuda Triangle
Problems I was not sufficiently warned about:
--arguing with grocery store robots about unexpected items in the bagging areas
--not remembering my passwords
--existential dread

How about a laugh...hopefully. You have got to laugh at yourself. Please, no offense to be taken at this if you wear hearing aids.

I got hearing aids a few months ago. They are wonderful...but, a booger to get use too!!

My hearing aids will squeal when someone hugs me, so I had an adjustment done.

I was in the laundry room and I was hearing a "tweeting" sound. I thought, "Oh, my word, now my hearing aids are tweeting!".

Wait for it.....My cat was bringing me his little bird that tweets and dropped it at my feet.

I laughed until I cried at my silly self and was glad it was the cat and not my hearing aids.

The older I get, the more I have to laugh at myself! I hope all you precious folks will do the same.

Blessings & Prayers to All.....

@covidstinks2023
Was the bird ok?
Jake

😅 Though I actually did have a run-in with quicksand a couple years ago while walking along a beach in Florida. Sunk down to my bum! All the childhood memories of watching Roy Rogers with episodes of someone getting sucked down in the mire, only to have Trigger come to the rescue came flooding back! I did remember Roy yelling in the tv show, not to move!! I didn’t move and I didn’t panic. But for me, there was no Trigger or rope!

Thankfully my husband was on firmer footing next to me. He only sunk to mid calf and was able to then slowly work me out of the sand. The force of the suction of the quicksand was incredible! I’ve never had anything pull me that hard from both directions. It took a couple minutes to finally get free! I can laugh about it now, but at the time I have to admit I was getting a little anxious. There were other people on the beach running to the rescue but stopped short of helping because my husband’s efforts were working.

While trying to extricate me, my husband, either trying to reassure me or himself, told me, ‘No one dies on the beach from quicksand.” Small comfort to read later that, indeed, people DO disappear completely in some of these episodes. I was then instructed to “wear a hat” next time I’m at the beach so people know where I went down! 😂. True story!

I don't believe you.

I think you're just starting a vicious Roomba.

Fun fact:

Roy Rogers had PTSD, so Dale Evans got him a new horse to stop the Trigger-ing events.

But, as it happened, it didn't a-mount to a cure.