How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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@sueinmn

Or maybe people of the female persuasion have better sense than to "poke the hive"?

Here's a favorite in our family:
Why does it take a woman to find the thing a man is looking for - even when it's right where it belongs?
Only people who have (or had) a uterus have the magical power to find things.

My poor daughter lives in a houseful of males. Even the pets. She is destined to spend the rest of her life finding their stuff!

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@sueinmn
I have an answer to that but I'm already in enough hot water.
However, I would like to understand this. So it is permissible to post jokes about men but not women? Is that right?
Jake

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@ellerbracke

Well. flight from Munich to to New York... stunning blonde walks up into first class after take off, takes a seat. Stewardess asks for seat ticket, tells the women she belongs in economy and must leave. OH no, she says. I’m beautiful, young, on my way to New York, and I surely belong in this seat. Cabin Steward tries to argue - Lady, you need to leave. Your tiicket does not entitle you to sit here. “But, don’t you see, I’m destined to be great once I get to New York, as georgious as I look!.” Consternation, but co-pilot happens to step out of the cokpit. Informed of the situaltion, he says: no problem. I speak blond. Whispers to the women, who smiles at him, and gets up and goes back to her assigned seat. Stunned, the stewardess asks what he did... “ I simply told her that today first class does not stop in New York.

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Well, I'm blonde and that was hilarious. My husband always said he needed a chalkboard when telling me a joke. hahahaha.😂

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@gingerw

@jakedduck1 Well, I carry a knife everyday. A knife has been daily part of my life since age 10, when my dad allowed me to get my first folding Case knife at Thrifty Drug Store [funny how some moments stay in your memory].
Ginger

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I figured most men would carry a pocket knife. I guess the times they are a changin.

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@gingerw

@ellerbracke @jakedduck1 Just as there are many different types of people, there are different types of jokes. And many different ways to "take" them. Best to erg on the side of caution. For example, my husband cracks jokes all the time that I find offensive, and when I say so, he says I have no sense of humor.
Ginger

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I always just ended up saying, "what"?

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A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."

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@marvinjsturing

Ole is attending a marriage seminar at the Lutheran church down the street. The pastor says, "Ole, you've been married a long time."

"Ya," says Ole. "Coming up on 50 years!"

The pastor asks, "What do you credit your long marriage to?"

Ole says, "I like to surprise Lena from time to time."

"Can you give us an example? " asks the pastor.

"Well," says Ole, "for our 25th anniversary, I brought Lena to the old country to visit family."

"Oh," said the pastor. "And do you have a surprise for her for your 50th anniversary? "

"Ya," says Ole. "I think I'll go back and get her."

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hahahaha😅

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@hopeful33250

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week. So the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem, the Captain's parrot saw the shows each week and begin to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started squawking, "Look, it's not the same hat!" "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"

The magician was furious but couldn't do anything about it. After all, it was the Captain's parrot.

One stormy night the ship began to sink, leaving survivors floating in the water. As luck would have it the magician and the parrot found themselves floating on the same piece of wood. The magician and the parrot stared at each other angrily for 3 days and did not say a word.

Finally, on the 4th day, the parrot could not keep quiet any longer and said to the magician, "OK, I give up, where did you put the ship?"

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Oh I liked this one. I see I'm getting into the game 3 years late but they're still funny,, they haven't lost their glow......

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@jakedduck1

@sueinmn
I have an answer to that but I'm already in enough hot water.
However, I would like to understand this. So it is permissible to post jokes about men but not women? Is that right?
Jake

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@jakedduck1

Equal time to both genders however there are other jokes out there that don’t poke fun at men and women. Since you asked here are a few (gentle)male jokes

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

Why did God create man before women?
Because you are always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Men are alike government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent man?
Bigfoot’s been spotted several times.

Why don’t men make ice cubes?
They don’t know the recipe.

What does the smart guy to do at the M&M factory?
Proof read.

That’s all folks (Porky Pig) I got a million of ‘em ( Jimmy Durante)

FL Mary

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@imallears

@jakedduck1

Equal time to both genders however there are other jokes out there that don’t poke fun at men and women. Since you asked here are a few (gentle)male jokes

Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.

What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.

Why did God create man before women?
Because you are always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Men are alike government bonds.
They take so long to mature.

What’s the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent man?
Bigfoot’s been spotted several times.

Why don’t men make ice cubes?
They don’t know the recipe.

What does the smart guy to do at the M&M factory?
Proof read.

That’s all folks (Porky Pig) I got a million of ‘em ( Jimmy Durante)

FL Mary

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Love um!
Like they say, The best man for the job is a woman.
I hope you post some more.
Jake

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