1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

imallears | @imallears | Jan 30, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "You know you're from California when… - Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

You know you're from California when…

- Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.

- You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

- Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

- You can't remember… is pot illegal?

- Where illegals have more rights than tax paying citizens.

- You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

- You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

- A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

- Gas costs $2.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

- Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

- Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

- It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

- You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells phones.

- It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents and your still late.

- Both you AND your dog have therapists.

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@jakedduck1

Okay now let's hear it from the Florida people (transplanted or not)

You Know You Live In Florida When

1. Socks are only for bowling

2. Your winter coat is a flannel shirt.

3. You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in 5 minutes.

4. Anything under 70 degrees is chilly

5. You dread love bug season

6. You think a 6 ft alligator is actually pretty average

7. You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls

8. You know the four seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season
tourist season and summer

9. You have hosted a hurricane party.

10. You know what a snow bird is and when they will leave.

11. A mountain is anything 100 feet above sea level.

12. You are on a first name basis with the hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley
or Hurricane Ivan. You know them as Charley, Andrew, Ivan, Wilma, Irene.....etc

12. You have a drawer full of bathing suits and one sweatshirt.

13. You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Thonotosassa
and Micanoopy.

14. You refer to Key West as "Down South"

15. You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.

16. You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

17. You try not to step on lizards

18. You go swimming in December.

19. You know that Universal is way way better than Disney.

20. You've had flip flop tans on your feet.

To name a few things....there are lots more. We woke up to 29 degrees here on the west coast and
we are basically on the water. First time in a long time I had to cover plants overnight. This has been
another of several cold fronts for us. I know what all the North Easterners have gone through lately but there have
been some days this year so far where the temperatures have been lower than up North. Makes me yearn
for sweaty eyeballs again.
FL Mary

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Feb 1, 2022

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners.
The lamaze class was in full swing.
The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the proper assurances at this stage of the plan.
Ladies, exercise is good for you announced the teacher. Walking is especially beneficial.
And gentlemen it wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with your partner.
The room was very quiet.
Finally a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
Yes, asked the instructor
Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk.

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judywren | @judywren | Feb 3, 2022

The following is a definition of irony, often used in humor. And it is true!I live in Illinois. I just received my free at-home tests for the Covid-19 virus. On the boxes, it states: Made in China. No, there are not many "jokes" about Covid-19. But, darn it, THIS is funny.

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Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Feb 9, 2022

If a man says he will fix it he will, there is no need reminding him every six months.

REPLY
1 reply
suz55 | @suz55 | Feb 10, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "If a man says he will fix it he will, there is no need reminding him..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

If a man says he will fix it he will, there is no need reminding him every six months.

Jump to this post

Cute and good for a smile. 😊

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MGMolly | @Erinmfs | Feb 11, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "SPERM COUNTING There was this guy that went to the doctor to get his sperm counted.The..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

SPERM COUNTING

There was this guy that went to the doctor to get his sperm counted.The lady behind the desk handed him a jar and said, "Bring it back tomorrow, full." He says, "Okay, I'll be back tomorrow then."
Well he goes home and comes back the next day, and he hands the woman the jar. She says, "Nothing's in it." The man responds, "Well, I went home and I tried with my right hand and I tried with my left hand and nothing happend. I called my wife into the room, and she tried with her right hand and she tried with her left hand. Nothing still happend. Well, we called our neighbor and she came over, and she tried with her right hand ans she tried with her left hand, and still nothing happened.
And the woman behind the counter looked stunned and asked, "You asked your neighbor over to help you!?" And he says, "Yeah, we couldn't get the jar open."
Jake

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@jakedduck1 that is too funny!

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Feb 11, 2022

At my age, "getting lucky™
means finding my car in
the parking lot.

Amen to that. Parking lots are where I do most of my walking.

Jake

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Feb 12, 2022

The winner has been named in the world wide search for the perfect man. After careful consideration and endless debate, the Perfect Man has been named.

MR. POTATO HEAD!

He's tan.
He's cute.
He knows the importance of accessorizing.
And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.

REPLY
2 replies
imallears | @imallears | Feb 12, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "The winner has been named in the world wide search for the perfect man. After careful..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

The winner has been named in the world wide search for the perfect man. After careful consideration and endless debate, the Perfect Man has been named.

MR. POTATO HEAD!

He's tan.
He's cute.
He knows the importance of accessorizing.
And if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1
That’s a BOL …….Burst out laughing . More than a few faces and other parts of the anatomy have been rearranged….think Lorena Bobbitt.

FL Mary

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Feb 12, 2022

@imallears
I’d rather not think about that 😩😳

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