He's driving me away from wanting to take care of him

@oldkarl - sounds like your situation is far worse. I'll be praying for you especially. Please rethink suicide, our situations change in the most unexpected ways sometimes. Talk to God and get on this forum and reach out. The people here are good, they understand, they've walked in some uncomfortable shoes too.

Hi, Colleen. Awfully good to hear from you. Things are moving along. Thankfully, I realize that about 2x per week now. I seem to keep adding new realities to my catalog every week. But as for the signs, some things just seem to grow on a person. The real toughie right now is Limb Girdle Muscular Dystrophy, type r23. In the last few weeks I have been forced to nearly stop walking because of the pain in all my muscles, including my heart. I am now using about two bottles of nitro per month. The fresh slabs of bone are growing around my head, and, sometimes, my white matter is dark enough I could use it to write a letter to Santa. My multiple myeloma pain is driving me nuts, day and night. Actually, this helps because I have an excuse to not remember things. But that is still a problem as there is only one room for one amnesia case here. I have a roller-walker, so I can still walk a little, maybe a hundred yards or so, before my knees decide to quit bending , as demanded by my LGMD. And I am learning more about my MM almost every day, and my sickle cell impact seems to getting stronger. And I keep telling my wife that my Angelman is just a recognition by God just what sort of person I really am. She tells me that my important word for this time of life is not really "Angelman" but "constipation." Oh, drat!!!!!!!! oldkarl

Maybe it is just his secret way of trying to get attention? Just remember he is not totally conscious mentally about everything around him ( and that it is not his fault) , if he wasn’t like that , he would not need a caregiver ! As for arguing with the TV .... that is easy to do anymore! Lol ! Steer him away from tv stations that make him upset . AND last but certainly NOT LEAST..... pray for help and patience to JESUS !I have worked with men that would walk into a room and fart or belch .... for attention I would guess ? We’re they acting stupid ....SURE ! AND their stupidity levels were not because of Dementia type issues . Try to do your best to overlook those things AND change the tv channels or shut the tv off and give him a book !

@anotherday, I wanted to check in and send you a friendly hello. How are you doing?

Hi @middledaughter, you sound like you speak with first-hand experience. Have you had to evaluate and find a long-term care facility for a family members?

My husband of 58 years was in a lot of undiagnosed stomach pain. He never stopped complaining. No matter where he was, as though I'd never heard it before. He didn't like me, he thought I should be helping him. He was never grateful; he was just mad at me.
I thought I would go crazy. He died suddenly with Parkinson's dementia. I missed the younger husband a lot , but not the old mean one. That sounds bad,but, I thought I would go crazy. Day after day of misery for both of us.I took up coloring with gel pens and I would color in kind of a trance while he raged around me.
If you can put him in a home, do so.
I developed breast cancer right after he died. I think the stress had something to do with it.
Now, several years later at 82 I am enjoying my life a lot.
Don't feel guilty for your anger. He's a changed person and it isn't your fault; none of it!

yes. but we ended up leaving my mom in her home with 24-7 care. a different situation but i am familiar with one old friends situation and he has adjusted well to living in his facility. his wife was miserable and passed away earlier as a result.

I had to step back from here for a little bit. Things went from bad to worse and I just don't have it in me to handle this much longer. Without going into a lot of detail, things around here have been breaking and not getting fixed for years now. Some things he and I have fixed together, some things I've figured out with You Tubes. Recently a neighbor offered to come over and look at a couple plumbing issues we've been experiencing. Husband carried on while he was here. "We don't need to spend money on that!" "It quits dripping eventually." It's not dripping that badly." The neighbor left, nothing got repaired. Three separate issues and each just made him angrier. Along with the continuous belching, farting and never ending talking of his favorite topic, condom dispensing machines, add in the arguing with the television - Now he's angry about absolutely everything! In my opinion I think the fact that all of these things obviously need to be repaired and we can actually afford to purchase a couple parts if need be, the neighbor offered to come as a favor....I think he's embarrassed because the neighbor saw the repairs needed and he showed his true self while the neighbor was here.

I've already got him taking Ashwagandha and am considering adding CBD oil to the mix. Can any of you tell me if you've had any experience with either of these? The Ashwagandha did seem to make a difference for several months. The doctor may frown about the CBD oil, I'm not sure, but something has got to give. Help me out with what you know folks, I need something to settle him down. I wake up dreading each day...

I wish I could be of help to you with ideas/advice but I’m in a similar situation with my 89 year old mom. Her sweetness is gone and this disease has turned her into a relentless complaining vicious woman. I do have caregiving and that helps me escape for ME time…even if I sit in the park. I hope you have someone who can give you ME time. We all need a respite.

Might be time to consider placement in AL, there he will have his own room, he can fart and watch TV all day long if he so desires.

Right now, I cannot think of one reason he shouldn't be placed.

You are entitled to a life as well, you do not have to give up you for him. In a blink of the eye, you will be at the tail end of your own life and it will be too late, you cannot recapture the time.

Sending support your way!