He's driving me away from wanting to take care of him

Oh dear, the gas in his digestive system is disturbing! I wonder about the cause?? Are you aware what he eats? how are his bowel movements? Has he had problems with gas before? Is there bloating or abdominal pain?

This behaviour may have nothing to do with his dementia and he may need some intervention for both of you.

Him arguing with the TV could be related to his dementia. Did this become more intense since his gas problem? It may be an indication of discomfort. Would there be a chance for him to watch milder shows such as National Geographics or something like that? No intense shows so there is less to argue about.

Hope this settles for both of you; it sounds quite frustrating.

Take care,

Oh God, I wish it was just a stomach upset or gastro issue. I've addressed every single thing I can with supplements and I'm really careful with foods. He just excels with belching and farting, he seems to thrive on getting under my skin with this daily barrage of his belching and farting. I've had it. Day in and day out, all day every day, belch - fart, belch - fart, then the crudeness of forever talking about condemn dispensing machines. I'm so done. Maybe this is what he wants, me to just place him in a facility. Frustrating doesn't begin to touch on this. No, there's something more going on. I just haven't figured it out yet. Thank you for trying to help,

Looking at the situation realistically, I think you have done as much as you can handle. Do not feel guilty. He will be okay and probably adjust easily to a facility.

I have learned along this path that the behaviors of our loved ones can't be changed by asking them to stop, reasoning or pointing out that something they are doing is harmful to themselves. Medication has helped to curb some of the anger and manic-ness that I now see (and feel) from my spouse. After a particularly trying summer, my husband was prescribed lamotrigine which has helped. We can now talk and he is seemingly happier.

@anotherday Oh, your situation sounds just terrible. Have you brought this up with his doctor?

I really sympathize with you. The repetition of these annoyances can drive one to tears. My husband now reads to himself (the same books over and over) out loud, and clears his throat continually. I feel like I’m living with a duck. And then I add to the noise by saying “stop it!!” Sometimes I hand him a piece of paper that says “Stop clearing your throat!” But I might as well be handing the sign to a duck. He is very sweet otherwise, so I feel lucky. But your situation sounds totally trying. Hang in there!

I am having something of the same trouble. My wife thinks our entire family is out to destroy her. (3 daughters, 10 grankids, 25 great GKs. Our son died of drug overdose two months ago.) I expect to die before easter.. Suicide is likely.

Hi @oldkarl, it's been a while since our paths have crossed. Good to hear from you. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your son to overdose. That is hard. I know you have several chronic and complex conditions and that you have been facing end-of-life for quite some time. May I ask what condition or symptom has you thinking that your timeline is getting closer, possibly as soon as Easter?

I didn't realize that you are also your wife's caregiver. Does she live at home with you? Do you have home care and/or family to help with the demands of your and your wife's health circumstances?

@Colleen -- Thank you for jumping in on this thread.

/LarryG

@carbry - We've been through the reading out loud thing within the last year or two. My husband still enjoys the paper version of the newspaper and would read out loud for hours and hours on end and become very annoyed....irate even if I would make a noise while "he" was reading or if I had something else to do and would not or could not give him my 100% full attention. He was actually trying to read out loud the bulk of each week's edition. I finally got him to move on from that, don't know if him now arguing with the television is any better. I have told my husband that it was a shame he's not a college professor, then he would have a captive audience. I wonder if we live close, we could put the two of them together and let them drive each other nuts?