1. < Just Want to Talk

Gratitude Discussion Group

Posted by Debbra Williams, Alumna Mentor @debbraw, Nov 24, 2018

Hi everyone! Just before Thanksgiving @michellegraffradford posted a blog called Gratitude Changes Everything. She suggested three techniques to help incorporate gratitude into our daily lives:


  • Start the Day with Gratitude (before getting up think of three people you are grateful for)

  • Maintain a Gratitude Journal to record times when you are grateful

  • Count Blessings – not sheep! (Review the day and remember moments of gratitude)


Her blogpost was so inspiring that a lot of us decided we wanted to form a Gratitude Group to keep the attitude of gratitude going. The blogpost area is not an ideal space for a big discussion group so I am moving the discussion over here to the “Just Want to Talk” Group. Let’s use this space to share and discuss our Gratitude Journey. I’m going to suggest that we each try to take a minute from the day and post here what has made us feel thankful today. It can be as small as a stranger’s smile on the bus or as large as fulfilling a major life dream – or anywhere in between. We can also discuss how we are doing with the three techniques. Sometimes it is easier to form new habits with support from others.

Michelle's full blogpost is at the link below. You may want to review it or print it out to help get started!
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/living-with-mild-cognitive-impairment-mci/newsfeed/gratitude-changes-everything/

I look forward to hearing from others in the Gratitude Group and to having others join us here! Thanks to those who already shared great stories. If you haven't yet, what gratitude will you share today?!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

Parus | @parus | Sep 28, 2019
In reply to @nancy82415 "It is a beautiful sunny fall day today in the Midwest! Just spent 2 hours cutting..." + (show)
@nancy82415

It is a beautiful sunny fall day today in the Midwest! Just spent 2 hours cutting down some of my perennials. Still have lots more to do. It takes a lot out of me. Have four buckets and a large tarp full to be taken to the city compost pile. I am so grateful for my brother who will come and take it for me. He also cuts my lawn. But the crazy thing is I will shovel and blow snow when winter comes. But the snow blower has an electric start and is self propelled. Along with the area to blow snow/shovel is smaller than the area for cutting lawn. What is nice is he does not mind cutting the lawn.

Also I am having my family over for Thanksgiving this year. My family takes turns. So every 2 1/2 yrs I have either Easter or Thanksgiving. It is potluck with the home that is hosting makes the meat. Well for the second time, since I have was diagnosed with CM and SM, my sister-in-law has graciously volunteered to make the turkey. She knows that I do not have the strength or dexterity in my hand to either lift or clean off the bird. As a thank you I give her a beautiful fall floral arrangement.

I am so grateful for my family. I don’t know what I would do without them.

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@nancy82415 You are not alone in cutting down perennials and Fall clean-up. I too will be bidding the beauty of summer farewell. I only have a small area of approximately 8' x 6'. I can certainly make the area sing with a cacophony of color!!!
I have 2 green thumbs I am very grateful to have!!!

REPLY
3 replies
Debbra Williams, Alumna Mentor | @debbraw | Sep 28, 2019
In reply to @parus "@debbraw Your comment brightened my day in that you recognize how I am feeling and didn't..." + (show)
@parus

@debbraw Your comment brightened my day in that you recognize how I am feeling and didn't invalidate how I am feeling for now. Discouragement, for me, has always been an obstacle and being such a passive person I typically walk away or just throw in the towel. Coming here helps me to realize I am not alone in my struggles. I want to be the encouraging person. Being on the receiving end is difficult for me. I am beginning to realize admitting fears and weaknesses is not always a form of self-pity. Thing is I continue to try even when I don't want to at times. Navigating the medical system with all of the restrictions can be disheartening. I like to believe there are medical professionals that are well qualified and try the understand the hoops they are required to go through. These large corporations run their lives and have ceased caring about quality and only seem to care about quantity. Being a doctor has become a 9 to 5 job where emergencies are not tolerated well. It is hard to get adequate medical care when a doctor is strapped to a laptop and watching minutes tick away. I so want to believe they still have caring in their work and are not simply punching a time clock to get a pay check. I know I have little to no trust in the medical care I am receiving. When questions are not allowed or possible options discussed and I am dismissed from an appointment by a laptop closing and told I can check out I feel lesser than. Maybe next time I will try a body slam-and yes, I am kidding about the body slam. My last appointment with the PCP I had a list of questions, symptoms, etc. I arrived prepared to be efficient and expedite my appointment of 40 minutes and maybe received 10 minutes. Hard not to have an attitude!!!
I am grateful in other areas and keep plugging along. The thing that keeps me going is my little grandson and knowing I am the only blood family his daddy and him has-big responsibility on my part.
Yes, I am still doing paper mache props for his dinosaurs and army men as well.
Thanks for a place to come and be honest for a while. A scary world out there. I am able to help some of the residents in this apartment complex with understanding how to text and other things. It saddens me as most of them are at more of a loss than I am when it comes to technology. I know I am impaired in this area and can understand the fear and inadequacy others are feeling.
Living in a world where equality for all is means being treated like a criminal. Just how it is in this world of equality.

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@parus... you are the LEAST self-pitying person I have seen on here so don't be thinking that. I know, I know that technology can be an elephant that is just about to stomp on you, but I'm going to suggest this anyway. Does your PCP have a portal where you can contact them electronically? If so, try that for your questions. I have had good luck with it. Just fyi, when you send your questions in thru the portal, they go to the physician's asst. Yeah! Somebody reads them, gets answers and preps the doctor. Just this year I've started sending my questions in advance thru the portal and I have been thrilled with the results. (And i'm not just talking about Mayo where doctors are always caring and attentive... my husband is in another medical system and it works well there too.) Ok.. so go get your biopsy, post some pictures of your new paper mache props, and let us know how things are going. You know you have friends here and we don't like going too long without having you connect with us. Hugs!

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Sep 28, 2019
In reply to @parus "@debbraw Your comment brightened my day in that you recognize how I am feeling and didn't..." + (show)
@parus

@debbraw Your comment brightened my day in that you recognize how I am feeling and didn't invalidate how I am feeling for now. Discouragement, for me, has always been an obstacle and being such a passive person I typically walk away or just throw in the towel. Coming here helps me to realize I am not alone in my struggles. I want to be the encouraging person. Being on the receiving end is difficult for me. I am beginning to realize admitting fears and weaknesses is not always a form of self-pity. Thing is I continue to try even when I don't want to at times. Navigating the medical system with all of the restrictions can be disheartening. I like to believe there are medical professionals that are well qualified and try the understand the hoops they are required to go through. These large corporations run their lives and have ceased caring about quality and only seem to care about quantity. Being a doctor has become a 9 to 5 job where emergencies are not tolerated well. It is hard to get adequate medical care when a doctor is strapped to a laptop and watching minutes tick away. I so want to believe they still have caring in their work and are not simply punching a time clock to get a pay check. I know I have little to no trust in the medical care I am receiving. When questions are not allowed or possible options discussed and I am dismissed from an appointment by a laptop closing and told I can check out I feel lesser than. Maybe next time I will try a body slam-and yes, I am kidding about the body slam. My last appointment with the PCP I had a list of questions, symptoms, etc. I arrived prepared to be efficient and expedite my appointment of 40 minutes and maybe received 10 minutes. Hard not to have an attitude!!!
I am grateful in other areas and keep plugging along. The thing that keeps me going is my little grandson and knowing I am the only blood family his daddy and him has-big responsibility on my part.
Yes, I am still doing paper mache props for his dinosaurs and army men as well.
Thanks for a place to come and be honest for a while. A scary world out there. I am able to help some of the residents in this apartment complex with understanding how to text and other things. It saddens me as most of them are at more of a loss than I am when it comes to technology. I know I am impaired in this area and can understand the fear and inadequacy others are feeling.
Living in a world where equality for all is means being treated like a criminal. Just how it is in this world of equality.

Jump to this post

@parus I am glad you posted. The dilemma of adequate and mindful medical practices seem to have gone out-the-window.In my experience, when I had an HMO insurance, the doctors were just as you described. Now using a PPO plan, I find they are somewhat more aware of their attitude. May I ask if you have seen this in your experience? How do you think your doctors would respond if they were told by you, what you have shared here? I am grateful for your honesty!
Ginger

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Parus | @parus | Sep 28, 2019

@debbraw I do have a patient portal and prefer communicating this way as I then have proof and need to use this method more to my advantage. Seems talking or discussing things is no longer how doctors perform their duties. I have an HMO and the only problem I have had is with the Primary. My 3 previous PCP's were NP's. Doctors and other medical personnel keep leaving which makes it even more difficult. I am not one to change doctors. I even had one specialist discharge me without telling me leaving me without refills on thyroid medication. I sat for 2 hours waiting to be seen and when I asked if I could reschedule I was then told the doctor had discharged me. Even this is allowed and legal!!! There was a time a doctor could not do such a thing. I can honestly say I have never been rude or disrespectful with a doctor or any of the staff. No reason given for their actions. Most of them don't want to think outside the box. Still searching.
Thanks again to everyone here at connect. At least I am not alone or crazy for being confused. Cold and indifferent is just so wrong no matter what someone's cultures or beliefs.

REPLY
1 reply
Merry, Alumni Mentor | @merpreb | Sep 29, 2019
In reply to @birdmom9726 "Hi, I am new here. Just finishing up dealing with pneumonia where I had a C-T..." + (show)
@birdmom9726

Hi, I am new here. Just finishing up dealing with pneumonia where I had a C-T scan that showed ground glass opacities and 2 new lung nodules. Nevertheless, I am so grateful that I am on the road to recovery and feeling much better than I have felt in couple of months. I still have to be seen by a pulmonologist, but I am optimistic that it will go well and so is my wonderful primary care physician. Lots to be grateful for, from an understanding boss to great family and friends that got me through all this!

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@birdmom9726 - Good morning and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. Doesn't it feel so good to recover from pneumonia! I felt as if an elephant had gotten up and sat on someone else's chest! I am a 22+ years lung cancer survivor and have Multifocal adenocarcinoma of the lungs.
May I ask what your lung history is? What treatments have you had?

REPLY
imallears | @imallears | Sep 29, 2019
In reply to @parus "@nancy82415 You are not alone in cutting down perennials and Fall clean-up. I too will be..." + (show)
@parus

@nancy82415 You are not alone in cutting down perennials and Fall clean-up. I too will be bidding the beauty of summer farewell. I only have a small area of approximately 8' x 6'. I can certainly make the area sing with a cacophony of color!!!
I have 2 green thumbs I am very grateful to have!!!

Jump to this post

@parus
Hi,
Loved your expression. “cacophony of color”...made me smile. I can visualize your little garden..must be beautiful to wake up to every day. We haven’t had a freeze here in Florida in years so plants really thrive in the humidity. I guess that’s a form of gratitude even though I don’t thrive in this humidity. 😓
FL Mary

REPLY
nancy82415 | @nancy82415 | Sep 29, 2019
In reply to @parus "@nancy82415 You are not alone in cutting down perennials and Fall clean-up. I too will be..." + (show)
@parus

@nancy82415 You are not alone in cutting down perennials and Fall clean-up. I too will be bidding the beauty of summer farewell. I only have a small area of approximately 8' x 6'. I can certainly make the area sing with a cacophony of color!!!
I have 2 green thumbs I am very grateful to have!!!

Jump to this post

@parus can you loan me a thumb? In all honesty it is time to re-do all the perennial beds. One is along side the length of the house and one that is 1/3 of my backyard. They were created before I bought the place. The previous owner had them done professionally. But they are now ready to be ripped out. I want to get new hardscaping done as well. Something more up to date and more me. Problem is I have no idea what I want. Once I have that decided and done, I would then be able to determine what would be planted in the beds. I am sure my sister-in-law would be able to help me. She has beautiful perennial gardens at her house.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Sep 29, 2019
In reply to @parus "@nancy82415 You are not alone in cutting down perennials and Fall clean-up. I too will be..." + (show)
@parus

@nancy82415 You are not alone in cutting down perennials and Fall clean-up. I too will be bidding the beauty of summer farewell. I only have a small area of approximately 8' x 6'. I can certainly make the area sing with a cacophony of color!!!
I have 2 green thumbs I am very grateful to have!!!

Jump to this post

@parus My fall cleanup is tempered by weather and energy levels. We have wild blackberry plants on the north side of our property, that I fear cutting down completely. They may be holding up part of the hillside, but definitely need trimming! I want to cut back the roses growing on the front walk but think that comes later on the calendar. Like you, I want color! But unlike you, I don't have a very green thumb. May I come to live in your garden, where you nurture with love?
Ginger

REPLY
JK | @contentandwell | Sep 29, 2019
In reply to @parus "@debbraw Your comment brightened my day in that you recognize how I am feeling and didn't..." + (show)
@parus

@debbraw Your comment brightened my day in that you recognize how I am feeling and didn't invalidate how I am feeling for now. Discouragement, for me, has always been an obstacle and being such a passive person I typically walk away or just throw in the towel. Coming here helps me to realize I am not alone in my struggles. I want to be the encouraging person. Being on the receiving end is difficult for me. I am beginning to realize admitting fears and weaknesses is not always a form of self-pity. Thing is I continue to try even when I don't want to at times. Navigating the medical system with all of the restrictions can be disheartening. I like to believe there are medical professionals that are well qualified and try the understand the hoops they are required to go through. These large corporations run their lives and have ceased caring about quality and only seem to care about quantity. Being a doctor has become a 9 to 5 job where emergencies are not tolerated well. It is hard to get adequate medical care when a doctor is strapped to a laptop and watching minutes tick away. I so want to believe they still have caring in their work and are not simply punching a time clock to get a pay check. I know I have little to no trust in the medical care I am receiving. When questions are not allowed or possible options discussed and I am dismissed from an appointment by a laptop closing and told I can check out I feel lesser than. Maybe next time I will try a body slam-and yes, I am kidding about the body slam. My last appointment with the PCP I had a list of questions, symptoms, etc. I arrived prepared to be efficient and expedite my appointment of 40 minutes and maybe received 10 minutes. Hard not to have an attitude!!!
I am grateful in other areas and keep plugging along. The thing that keeps me going is my little grandson and knowing I am the only blood family his daddy and him has-big responsibility on my part.
Yes, I am still doing paper mache props for his dinosaurs and army men as well.
Thanks for a place to come and be honest for a while. A scary world out there. I am able to help some of the residents in this apartment complex with understanding how to text and other things. It saddens me as most of them are at more of a loss than I am when it comes to technology. I know I am impaired in this area and can understand the fear and inadequacy others are feeling.
Living in a world where equality for all is means being treated like a criminal. Just how it is in this world of equality.

Jump to this post

@parus You are certainly not alone in your feelings about the current medical communities. I always use the portal to communicate rather than calling for the same reason -- I have a written record of what was said. The portal messages at my PCP, although the said recipient is the doctor, are responded to by a nurse or medical assistant, and it has at times taken over a week to get a response! Portal messages to my doctors at MGH are generally responded to in the same day, or the next day, and at times the doctor has actually called me to respond! What a difference in the level of care.

I am also generally a very positive person but this fracture has me very discouraged, not characteristic for me. I have been in pain now since my fall on July 21 and it is getting to me, particularly since I think if my osteopenia had been addressed this might never have happened. I think we all have our limits, but things will get better. You are fortunate to have a grandchild to keep your spirits up. I am way too old to not have grandchildren! Now that my son is married to a lovely woman who is looking forward to having a family I think I won't have to wait much longer. 🙂 Of course they will be about 2000 miles away but we will have to work that out.

Oh, and I wish I had a green thumb, even a little finger would do!
JK

REPLY
Parus | @parus | Sep 30, 2019

Hello everyone. I go for the biopsy this morning and then the waiting for follow up appointment in 2 weeks. I have been having no symptoms that I am aware of-thing is I have so much pain I may not notice. No visible blood in urine.
So many of us are to be heralded as brave and continuing to trudge on. Oh yes, t'would be much easier to give into the pain and all of the things that accompany chronic pain. I do not think I need to mention the side effects of chronic pain.
My little scamp spent the day yesterday. He is my motivation right now. I did need to set up the card table yesterday to play with the plethora of creatures ranging from reptiles to a skeleton army. I just was not capable of playing on the floor!!! He is so tolerant of my inadequacies. He even told me yesterday he was going to tell his mom and dad he wanted to live with me. Days here are always play with some educational work/play intermingled.
@contentandwell While I was still working at the plant nursery where we also did what we could to educate customers about there plant material I told them that plants are like people. If they are happy in their location they will thrive. However, I like to believe I am a tad more adaptable than some plants.
As to medical communities all we as consumers can do is strive to work with it as bucking the system rarely works. Their goal has become efficiency and not their patients health. Trying to stuff everyone into the same box is placing them at risk. We are machines whether we like it or not-bar codes being embedded where easily scanned are not far from reality. I will not carry this thought any farther.

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