Share this:
amberpep
@amberpep

Posts: 610
Joined: Jul 02, 2012

~ Challenges of moving to be near my children ~

Posted by @amberpep, Mon, Sep 10 11:15pm

Hi to all my friends here in this group. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve been here …. so many reasons which I won’t go into. Life down here in VA has not changed ….. I realize it was a mistake to move down here, only 20 miles from my X, but I do thoroughly enjoy being with my two daughters, and my son when he drives down from D.C. My kids could not be more dear. It’s only because of them that I stay as I don’t like living here. I drive up to MD to see my therapist 2x a month, and I am working on finding a Psychiatrist down here for the medication part. I am still looking for a part-time job, as I need the extra money, but at 73, a lot of employers picture a little old lady who can barely function. That’s why I’m going to just start to show up at places where I would be interested in working. A non-functioning, little old lady I’m not! My medications seem to be keeping me fairly stable right now, with the usual ups and downs of Bipolar 2.
We’re to get about 24″ of rain from this hurricaine with flooding and landslides. We back right up to the Blue Ridge Mountains, so everyone is scurrying around getting gas, water, money …… hopefully it won’t be as bad as they predict. Landslides around here could be a disaster for many, many, people.
I’ll be back …. it won’t be so long next time.
abby

REPLY

@amberpep

Good to hear from you Abby! I'll pray that you and your family will be safe from the storms.

@amberpep Please be safe, and take care. Not only for the storm, but in your daily life, also. Making a move can be so stressful, and several factors can make it more so. You're absolutely right. Go out to those places that interest you to work, they'll see someone who can benefit their organization.
Ginger

Hi Ginger …. thank you for the nice note. Yes, I live in Staunton, VA, right at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mtns. So, we shall see what happens with all this rain. Yes, the move was high stress … I felt like I had a "nest" in MD … good friends, a wonderful church, doctors I'd had for years; starting over at 73 isn't easy. Down here I live 20 mi. from my X, in a low income apartment, I have not found a church that fits, and finding new doctors is, well ….. awful. There are lots of drugs in one of the buildings, and there is a woman who has a steady stream of men coming and going from her apartment every Saturday night ….. doesn't take rocket science to figure out what she's doing. And, of course, there's the occasional gunshot in the night. And my X has a big 2 story house on 3 acres of land, friends coming all the time (or so he says), and again, from what he says, he's just so very important. Yea, right ….. he's a total Narcissist … that's why we were divorced after 40 years. Being so close in proximity, holidays are always spent at either his house or my oldest daughter's.
So, life isn't so great, but it is what it is …. one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
abby

Liked by Parus

I am also thrilled to hear from you, @amberpep. Glad your kids have been so dear – that is wonderful. Also good to hear your meds are keeping you fairly stable right now.

I like your strategy of just showing up at places you might like to work. Rooting for you. Will you keep us posted on how that goes?

Mornin' friends …. wow, what a week …. things seem to come in bundles. Somehow Comcast got my address messed up and I keep getting "I'm behind in payments" letters ….. they'll send it to collection. You get nowhere on the phone, so tomorrow I'll be one of those people standing in the long line at their office. You never win these things, no matter how obvious it is, so I've decided if that's the case, then I'm having my TV cable removed, and just have internet. I only watch 4 stations anyhow. If things go as they usually do for people, in a few months they'll start sending me "special offers" to lure me back …. depending on what they are, how good they are, and whether I feel I even need them or not, I'll decide then, Well, I've finally finished paying for my move down here …. good grief. It cost $12,000 for the move and carpeting in my condo, and I had to use a Debt Reduction Company to help me. But, it looks as though it's coming to the end.
I'm not sure I told you all this, but for Mother's Day my 3 kids got me a puppy – it's a Cockalier … a cross between a Cavalier, King Charles Spaniel and a Cocker. They're trying to breed the heart murmur out of the Cavaliers, which is what my Molly died of. She's a sweet dog, but at 8 months, I am just having an awful time breaking her of some habits ….. she poops in the house, any little sound, day or night (I live in an apartment) she barks, and she seems to grumble constantly … sort of a growl, but not exactly. It's a grumble. Anytime she sees a dog or cat on TV she barks like crazy and won't stop. I call her "Granny Grumble Guts."
Still looking for a job with no success. Same on the church front … no success …. I've given up.
So, things still "are what they are" …. and I've got to adjust to the fact that this is where I'll be for the duration. At least I'm not living in a big box like a lot of the poor souls I see.
abby

ISOLATION ….. As you know I moved to VA 3 years ago from my "nest" in MD. I try, and try, but this is just NOT home. And to make matters worse, my X lives only 30 min. from me. I still see or talk to my therapist about every other week, and I am in the dumper again……..sad, depressed, a heaviness in my heart, my stomach feels like jello. I did not want to move here, but my 2 girls and their families live nearby. They hounded me for 5 years to move down here, and I finally relented……big mistake. Sometimes I think I've gotten over the hump, but no ….. it's gone and I want to go home again. Everything I loved is in MD ….. friends, church, therapist, Psychiatrist for meds., doctors, and I knew my way around like the back of my hand. I live in a low-income apartment complex with all its accompanying problems, and I owned my own condo (well, the bank and I!) Now I find I'm isolating again. I only go out to walk my dog, and go to the store and visit my daughter's. I hate the thought of living the rest of my life here. ((as I look back, I've said all this before … I'm sorry))
abby

@amberpep….Hi Abby’s! I’m Karen and I understand a little of what you are going through. I moved to a small town and ended up in low income housing-lots of problems. I knew no one and I became suicidal. I had left my dog with my brother. The only thing that saved me was my church friends. And they weren’t even enough sometimes. Is there any way you can move back? You speak so longingly of your life before. I’m sorry but I can’t remember whether you are a church goer. Can you make friends there? I am not that extroverted but did manage to do that. Abby I am thinking and praying for you!

Liked by gingerw

@amberpep

ISOLATION ….. As you know I moved to VA 3 years ago from my "nest" in MD. I try, and try, but this is just NOT home. And to make matters worse, my X lives only 30 min. from me. I still see or talk to my therapist about every other week, and I am in the dumper again……..sad, depressed, a heaviness in my heart, my stomach feels like jello. I did not want to move here, but my 2 girls and their families live nearby. They hounded me for 5 years to move down here, and I finally relented……big mistake. Sometimes I think I've gotten over the hump, but no ….. it's gone and I want to go home again. Everything I loved is in MD ….. friends, church, therapist, Psychiatrist for meds., doctors, and I knew my way around like the back of my hand. I live in a low-income apartment complex with all its accompanying problems, and I owned my own condo (well, the bank and I!) Now I find I'm isolating again. I only go out to walk my dog, and go to the store and visit my daughter's. I hate the thought of living the rest of my life here. ((as I look back, I've said all this before … I'm sorry))
abby

Jump to this post

@amberpep You may need to move back to your old stomping grounds. You certainly cannot say you didn't try in this new location. And you need to save your sanity; no doubt your daughters would agree and understand. I'll be thinking of you and keeping you close in thoughts.
Ginger

Oh Ginger, how I wish I could!!!!!! But I don't know where I'd live …. I had my condo there which I could afford, but now I'd need to get an apartment; unless I want to wind up in the same boat I'm in now (very sketchy neighborhood), I couldn't afford the rent in any nice community …. Frederick, MD is now considered a "bedroom community" of D.C. and a lot of the "rich folks" have moved out that way. My girls would be really upset with me too and I don't want to hurt them. But, how I wish I had never relented and moved. It took 5 years of pleading from my girls to get me down here, and I know they'd be upset if I went back. They have been so sweet. But they don't understand how hard this has been for me, at 73, and with my X only 20 miles away. They are too young (in their 40's), and moving (as they all have spouses and kids) is an adventure for them. But, I so long to be back there. Maybe I will make some contacts up there to see what might be available.
Bless you, my friend,
abby

Liked by gingerw

Please login or register to post a reply.