Estrangement Grief

Posted by annedodrill44 @annedodrill44, Jun 14 4:40pm

We are experiencing estrangement from a daughter and her family. It truly feels like a death in the family without traditional closure! Is anyone else going through this? Can share details if there is a group to share with.

Hi @annedodrill44, this is the perfect place to post your message. Loss can come in many forms and I'm sure you're grieving the loss of contact with your daughter and her family. How long has this been going on? Was the decision to break ties her decision?

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I am so sorry you're going through this Anne… I went through it with my sisters years back. We grew up very close and they were older than me so I always looked up to them. They reacted negatively to some decisions I made in my life and didn't speak to me for 10 years. It was horrible and painful and I grieved every day. I know from having grown kids now how painful your situation is. Just don't give up. I sent my sisters cards for every birthday, Christmas, etc. I reminded them that I loved them and would always be right there when they were ready to talk. I wanted to give up when years of cards and letters went unanswered but my wife kept encouraging me to keep trying. Eventually they did come around and we healed and thankfully, had 5 years of being closer than ever and talking on the phone daily before my oldest sister passed. I am still very close to my other sister in Texas (I am in MN) and we talk daily. So I would also encourage you not to give up!! Sending positive thoughts and comfort your way!

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@michaelhughes

I am so sorry you're going through this Anne… I went through it with my sisters years back. We grew up very close and they were older than me so I always looked up to them. They reacted negatively to some decisions I made in my life and didn't speak to me for 10 years. It was horrible and painful and I grieved every day. I know from having grown kids now how painful your situation is. Just don't give up. I sent my sisters cards for every birthday, Christmas, etc. I reminded them that I loved them and would always be right there when they were ready to talk. I wanted to give up when years of cards and letters went unanswered but my wife kept encouraging me to keep trying. Eventually they did come around and we healed and thankfully, had 5 years of being closer than ever and talking on the phone daily before my oldest sister passed. I am still very close to my other sister in Texas (I am in MN) and we talk daily. So I would also encourage you not to give up!! Sending positive thoughts and comfort your way!

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Hi Michael,
What an encouraging story. I’m glad you shared it. It can be a real struggle to continue to show love when you get no response. May I ask how your sisters replied when they did decide to reach out and respond to your contact?

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