Don’t tell and don’t ask.

I can definitely relate!

Hello…. As I begin this journey of dementia with my 57 year old husband, I’m seeing so much of the same things others speak about. He doesn’t show interest in much of anything anymore. He doesn’t engage in our church group on Wednesday and truly struggles to even follow along. Everything seems forced.
We’re actually in the process of packing because we just purchased a home and I have no idea what to expect when the boxes are unpacked! He might have decided he didn’t need our want something important and yet, we may have 16 screwdrivers in a kitchen drawer!
I enjoy/dread reading these posts because I’m truly unnerved about what the future hold for my family…Our 3 kids are all under 5 years old🥺

It's very difficult for you to manage 3 children under 5 plus your husband. Just take it day by day and realize his brain power might be similar to theirs concerning short term memory, impulse control and problem solving. The difference is his long term memory and skills exist. Moving will be difficult for him as would be anything new. You can manage and you may be able to hire help.

@brn2tch I just began my journey with my husband's MCI; I'm older than you. My children are grown so my heart goes out to you with three kids under 5 years old. I hope where you are moving, you're closer to family, who can help you with your babies, while you're journeying through full-time caregiving for your husband. Yes, It's all so overwhelming and frightening. I find the more information I have, the calmer I am in the whole thing, but again, you have three active children, that require 24 x 7 and then there's the dementia caregiving, another 24 x 7.
Hopefully, every box will be intact, even if you do have 16 screw driver's. Try to get help, so you can toggle your kid's school, activities, along with caring for someone who needs quality care. Quite a juggling act. Reach out to the local hospital too; they have support staff that can provide resources to you.
Best,

And you are doing a great job!

I have been taking over, daily processing of things to process. She doesn't even know. Boxes and boxes of stuff disappears, I am sure it is helpful, there is no need for all the stuff that is stuffed into random places. It's a tough job, she can't see me doing it. Satisfying to get to the bottom of a drawer. Finding stuff that indicates problems with organizing started way before I noticed problems.
Two major areas that I have not made progress, 1, so many loose pictures ( found in almost every drawer) 2, her clothes ( I finally have them organized but have not been able to reduce/eliminate excess.
Ball is in your court, peace and love to you and yours

Anyone else have their loved one go through the garbage or recycling and pull out things you've discarded? I've learned to bag it put it at the bottom of the garbage, tie it off and take it to the large can. I can't tell you how many things I threw away only to find it on the kitchen table after garbage day. Same with donation - I make a mental note of what goes and when he's off doing something else. I'll bag it and make a trip to the thrift store when I do the shopping. He NEVER asks about the items again... out of sight out of mind.

I agree with what you are doing (for what it's worth).

@cyds I have the same problem with my hubby. I throw something away just to find it laying on the counter after hubby has gathered the household trash. I have started waiting til the night before the garbage truck runs early the next morning to slip anything into the outside container that I think he might pull out. I always put it in a trash bag like the rest of the garbage so he does not suspect. 🤫

In reply to jopa1951. Good work sorting all the "stuff" that is not needed.
1. Re Pictures ….. try selecting just a few photos of important people and places and write names on back .
Store this collection in a box so she can look at them in the future. Throw out the rest . I know it’s hard !
2. Re Clothes ….. perhaps a friend or relative can help. Choose clothing that suits her, is comfortable, easy to care for, Not too many. Donate or discard the excess.
Good luck !