Doesn’t anyone else feel …… ?

@judimahoney definitely!
But if it’s small he is actually capable of still doing lots of things. If he wants to safely lift a free pounds, he can wear a belt. Hopefully he has no discomfort from this small hernia.

@sunnygardens
Yes his small hernia should not keep him from doing most anything around here.
He does not complain about discomfort, and I ask him from time to time how it's feeling.
So, still a mystery why he won't help more. I don't think it's stubbornness, perhaps confusion? Maybe everything is just challenging for him now.
Due to the dementia he has no empathy, so seeing me work hard does not get him to kick into gear. I strive to not be mad at him, because I don't know how much he's struggling internally/mentally.
Take care, caregivers. 💓

@judimahoney oh my gosh, Judi, this is so frustrating and disappointing for you! But rather a relief for me, to know there are others getting impatient at times. I blurt out the same sentence you do at times.
But why doesn’t your husband do these tasks that he is capable of doing?? Did he refuse to do them even when you ask?
Part of the resentment for me is that we are only housemates here, albeit good friends. I boomerang between believing it’s right for me to become his caregiver and no way do I want to be his caregiver.
Even before all this began, I was trying to find a way to move out or get him to move out. That’s been going on for about three years.
This part year these MCI symptoms began, and are increasing.
Financially, we are stuck here together.
I believe people should be born, live, and die in their own homes if that’s what they want. So how can I say he can’t do that here just because I live here, too? I feel like a hypocrite.
I sure hope you can get in to a counselor soon! It is a great help to talk without an objective person.

@sunnygardens Absolutely beautiful! Just made my day! Can I post it on the mentors page so they can all see it? Did you grow the flowers in your garden? Did you take the photo? Just beautiful!!
Becky

Absolutely get irritated a lot but need to bite my tongue! She has stopped being honest about various events in our shared past. But what can you do? Finding household items put away in strange places, is also hard but that I can point out.

Yes, I get enough, and find myself answering in an aggravated, or (worse) sarcastic way. When I do this, I am so ashamed that I can’t seem to have better self-control. Why can’t I keep the compassion going ? I know my husband can’t help it. What day is it, 20 times a day, etc.

@sunnygardens
You say we all seem so calm and reasonable and I bet you know that is NOT the case because we are in the same boat as you are. By the time we take to blogging here, some of the wind has been knocked out of our sails, so we may just seem calm. We are all ducks paddling furiously under the water, and looking serene on the surface; ha!
My husband also says 'I know' all the time, and sometimes when I'm in a mood I reply, 'If you know then how come.. ' While I'm saying this I know it's childish and cruel, but I find it bursting from my lips anyway. Guess it's my way of letting off steam or trying to cope.
I asked my husband for help with the dog yesterday while I was busy with some exhausting physical work here at home, and he didn't help, so I of course end up doing everything myself and try not to feel resentful but do anyway.
Since my husband is physically high-functioning he's capable of doing so much around here, but he just doesn't.
When I finally get my long-awaited appointment with a new therapist, I fear the dam will burst and I'll spend my entire session crying.
Fed up and irritable is now my middle name. You are not alone!
Bye for now. 🫂 🌺