I have had some issues with deprssion my whole life (age 42) but for many years I was "stable". I always felt mild to medium depression and anxiety but got by OK. I have always been very quiet, dont open up about my feelings, low self-esteem, etc. Earlier this year my wife had an affair, I think a lot if it had to do with my problems sharing feelings, not appreciating her, etc.
Since then I decided I needed to improve my self and our marriage, and not just get by, but know things seem to have "backfired" on me. I have gotten very depressed and anxoius. I can't focus well at work and am wooried/scared about what is happening to me.