im afraid for his life, I witnessed things and experienced things that I should have never in a healthcare facility. if he was somewhere safe I wouldn't mind not being with him…the administrators are unethical where he is

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hello Ma'am, thank you kindly for your response. I have been trying to communicate with the nurses, physicians, advocates, administrators, etc, but I have been unsuccessful. The majority demonstrate a lack of care, integrity, and compassion. I have witnessed my husband being abused making him and myself afraid for me to leave his side. my husband is on a ventilator but was writing well to communicate. he requested a transfer as well as myself. I was told because its a level one trauma and they can provide his care there, even though we r terrified for his life and seriously concerned with care they are providing, they will not request a transfer unless I provide them with a name of an accepting physician. I was then told that I would have to give them a credit card before they would accept him (his provider informed me that was incorrect) he is a navy veteran and ny transit authority retiree, he doesn't deserve the abuse and torture that he is being subjected to. I haven't slept in weeks and cannot rest until he is somewhere safe and ethical. my husband told me to call the police. I did but they said they couldn't help us either. he is being held against his will and paying them to do so

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Hello, @mutwo I am so sorry that you and your husband are in this very difficult situation. As a nurse who worked in many stressful situations, I would suggest that you have a small notebook so you can record everything that happens. This way you won’t have to rely on your memory when you’re upset. Record nurses names and dates they were assigned to your husband. If you witness anything, record it also. Record doctors names, ask for their business cards. Record names and times of medications, etc.
I know that being in a hospital, especially an ICU, is overwhelming and foreign. Sometimes, what looks strange and upsetting to a family, is not. It’s just different. Tasks are done faster because they have to be done faster. Right now, with this virus situation, nurses, especially, are under a lot of pressure.
Since your husband may have to stay at this hospital, do your best to get to know the staff and let them know you also. But, mostly, focus on your husband. He needs to know that you are there and that you care. If I can help with anything, let me know

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thank you so very much ….I have names, medications, labs, test, but I was told that I was interfering with his care by doing these things. when the nurse comes in to give medicine and is scanning them in the system, I ask what medication it is and dosage and write it down, I ask about his lab results when it seems like there is a slow moment to update me, I ask physicians questions but was told by one of them that physicians get frustrated when asked questions because it appears that they are being challenged. I don't know how to help someone without asking questions to have a general idea of what is going on with them. we have been treated so badly in that place and now he is all alone. it feels like our life is over. I don't know what to do with myself. ive never felt so worthless, not being able to be with him knowing he's afraid. the nursing director of the unit was so heartless and cold the entire time. im going to just keep trying, I wont give up…thank you again for your advice

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Never give up. You have very right to ask – don't let egos stand in your way of ensuring that you have the answers to your bone fide questions!!!

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Never give up. You have very right to ask – don't let egos stand in your way of ensuring that you have the answers to your bone fide questions!!!

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Hello, @mutwo I am so sorry that you and your husband are in this very difficult situation. As a nurse who worked in many stressful situations, I would suggest that you have a small notebook so you can record everything that happens. This way you won’t have to rely on your memory when you’re upset. Record nurses names and dates they were assigned to your husband. If you witness anything, record it also. Record doctors names, ask for their business cards. Record names and times of medications, etc.
I know that being in a hospital, especially an ICU, is overwhelming and foreign. Sometimes, what looks strange and upsetting to a family, is not. It’s just different. Tasks are done faster because they have to be done faster. Right now, with this virus situation, nurses, especially, are under a lot of pressure.
Since your husband may have to stay at this hospital, do your best to get to know the staff and let them know you also. But, mostly, focus on your husband. He needs to know that you are there and that you care. If I can help with anything, let me know

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@mutwo How difficult it must be for you not to be able to be with your husband t this time. Please know that the staff is doing their very best in caring for your husband. The current COVID-19 has made it more difficult for your husband, you, and the staff. Everyone Is stressed and tempers can be short. Please try your best to trust the staff and know that they have your husband’s care as their first priority. Have you any family in the area? Or close friends? Or the minister of your church? Just someone that you can talk to and open your heart to. You really need to take care of yourself at the time. Let’s stay in touch. Becky

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For what it's worth, a couple days ago my sister got worried because Mom called her and reported having a lot of diarrhea and vomiting. My wife went to the hospital to check but was not allowed to go past the lobby. There was a sign on the door that said, "Stop! No visitors!" My wife was able to speak to a nurse and make sure that a doctor was monitoring the situation. Last we heard, Mom was doing better.

If I may make a very mundane suggestion, it would be that hospitals should try to make sure that patients can charge their cellphones and any devices that can connect with whatever WiFi is available. In my recent experience I have noticed that some hospitals don't seem to care if patients can do this, and it can make a patient feel quite isolated and helpless if they cannot communicate with family or other acquaintances. I know most facilities have landline phones in their rooms, but in this day and age, who has memorized more than one or two important phone numbers?

I was hospitalized last April and not only did my cellphone battery go dead but the battery in my hearing aid died and I did not have a replacement. The hospital had no devices to charge the phone, and it refused to supply me with a new hearing aid battery or allow me to buy a new pack from the pharmacy next door. This put me in a situation where I was not only deaf but I could not communicate with my family to ask one of them to bring me a hearing aid battery and phone charger. Luckily, when I was in the emergency room waiting to be admitted I asked a nurse for a pen and paper so I could write down family phone numbers before my phone battery was exhausted. A nurse called my mother — the same one who is now hospitalized — and got her to bring me a charger and pack of batteries. My mom can barely walk 30 feet on a good day, and the hospital more or less shamed her into getting a Lyft and bringing me these essential items in person.

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thank you Becky. last night I decided to stop calling to check on him. I learned about procedures that they are treating him with when I called his nurse yesterday. I felt that the doctors would contact me before making decisions regarding his care but maybe they feel im not well enough to make the best decisions…I don't know. I don't have anyone in that area, but if I did I still couldn't go see him. I just feel bad that they are not allowing him to write anymore. when he hits the bed, that's his signal to let you know that he needs something, or wants to say something. thank you for your words of encouragement and sharing your time with me to listen and counsel me. im grateful that I was able to discover your group and all of you. you have shown me kindness and care. I pray that your families and you are well. I will take your advice and trust that his care team has his healing as a priority. Im just waking up, so I finally had a chance to rest. staying in touch will be nice…thank you again

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still no one has called, I have called and asked for his case manager to call me as well as his physician but no call. the hospital will not even tell me who his case manager is. the nurses just say there is no change whenever I call to check on him. crimes are being committed against my husband and there is no one to help us, I don't understand this world that we live in. people don't value life

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