COVID-19: What does it mean for people in ICU and for families?

Posted by Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor @rosemarya, Mar 15 5:01pm

Becoming ill with COVID-19 is a uniquely isolating and scary time for all of us, especially you are in the hospital or ICU. Everywhere people are being asked to practice social distancing, many ICUs and hospitals are restricting or not allowing visitors. Luckily this community is virtually open any time all the time to connect with others. If you or a loved one are in ICU right now because of COVID-19 or for any other reason, our ears and hearts are open to let you know you are not alone.

Are you in the hospital right now and want to chat with others? Is your family member in the hospital and you’re not able to visit?

@mutwo

Hey Becky, I pray you are well…thank you for your encouraging words and advice…I just finished the letter.

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@mutwo I am so happy to hear from you! I’ve been thinking about you and hoping that all is well. And you finished the letter! Do you mail it to the judge or wait until a hearing? Continue to write down your thoughts and feelings so you have notes to take to the hearing. And take a copy of the letter you wrote. Please stay in touch and let us know what happens. In the meantime, can you tell us about your husband? He must be special to have you working so hard for him!

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Oh, @mutwo, I am so sorry for both you and your husband. Can he still contact you even with restricted phone privileges? Can you possibly e-mail one another? How cruel for his daughters to deny you and him the support and encouragement you both need by being in touch. I hope from the bottom of my heart that your letter will bring about a much improved situation for you both. Will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you'll keep us updated on how things go for you and him.

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@starchy

So glad you found about them. The woman I hired told me she was accustomed to doing much more, including sending the residents away somewhere for a few days while she did the entire move. In my case, she probably wouldn't have found my job worthwhile because I had already done nearly all the work. However, she was going through cancer treatments just at that time, so could spend a couple of days with me with just one assistant and it worked well for both of us.

I chose her because, when I was looking through all the ads, she was the one who least ageist. The others all seemed to talk about their clients as if they were feeble and incapable. Their messages were often directed at family and caregivers. The woman I chose wasn't like that and she turned out to be perfect for me. Serendipity.

As we are all aging, I suspect there will be more and more companies offering these services. We boomers are a growth industry.

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@starchy, Really good news that you found a match that worked well for you with the downsizing help. Since the independent living facility selected the firm for the downsizing seminar I attended, I hadn't looked for information from others. How did you conduct your search? Did you use something like Google? How did you title the search…something like Downsizing Facilitators? Also hoping your are right about this becoming more of a growth industry as our numbers continue to increase.

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@becsbuddy

@mutwo I am so happy to hear from you! I’ve been thinking about you and hoping that all is well. And you finished the letter! Do you mail it to the judge or wait until a hearing? Continue to write down your thoughts and feelings so you have notes to take to the hearing. And take a copy of the letter you wrote. Please stay in touch and let us know what happens. In the meantime, can you tell us about your husband? He must be special to have you working so hard for him!

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I am happy to be able to contact you! I'm sorry it took so long. I've been working on myself and staying busy to ward off sadness. Thank you so much for thinking of me and being concerned. that's so Beautiful to share your time with thoughts of hoping that things are okay for us….Thank You. I do hope that things are well for you. I'm planning to mail it this week. Thank you again for your advice. I am making notes. I'm wondering if I should include audio recordings that dispute the false allegations that were made about my husband and myself. He is very special to me. We didn't always see eye to eye but I love him dearly. All I wanted was his love. He's 63 and I'm 43. He's a New Yorker and I'm a Virginian. He's hard, I'm soft. He's pessimistic, I'm optimistic. He thinks he hasn't talked with me or had contact with me because I abandoned him. I don't know what they told him.

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@fiesty76

Oh, @mutwo, I am so sorry for both you and your husband. Can he still contact you even with restricted phone privileges? Can you possibly e-mail one another? How cruel for his daughters to deny you and him the support and encouragement you both need by being in touch. I hope from the bottom of my heart that your letter will bring about a much improved situation for you both. Will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you'll keep us updated on how things go for you and him.

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Thank you Fiesty… I will…I've been calling the hospital and they are saying he's not there now. I'm guessing they have listed him as private to restrict our communication. He sounded so desperate for me to come there when I talked with him. When I told him that I couldn't come, he told me that i needed to get there as soon as possible. After that, he stopped answering the phone and when i call the nurses station they say they don't have anyone listed under that name. Seems like they are divorcing us honestly. I started feeling anxious about it but I decided to go to home depot and I'm now starting a flower and vegetable garden to distract myself. I've lost 20 lbs and hadn't even realized it until Thursday when I finally got on the scale. But I feel fine. I watch a lot of youtube videos for encouragement and remind myself that GOD is in control.

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@mutwo

I am happy to be able to contact you! I'm sorry it took so long. I've been working on myself and staying busy to ward off sadness. Thank you so much for thinking of me and being concerned. that's so Beautiful to share your time with thoughts of hoping that things are okay for us….Thank You. I do hope that things are well for you. I'm planning to mail it this week. Thank you again for your advice. I am making notes. I'm wondering if I should include audio recordings that dispute the false allegations that were made about my husband and myself. He is very special to me. We didn't always see eye to eye but I love him dearly. All I wanted was his love. He's 63 and I'm 43. He's a New Yorker and I'm a Virginian. He's hard, I'm soft. He's pessimistic, I'm optimistic. He thinks he hasn't talked with me or had contact with me because I abandoned him. I don't know what they told him.

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@mutwo. Im sure that if you have audio recordings that will give the judge more information . You should do this is my opinion

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@mutwo

I am happy to be able to contact you! I'm sorry it took so long. I've been working on myself and staying busy to ward off sadness. Thank you so much for thinking of me and being concerned. that's so Beautiful to share your time with thoughts of hoping that things are okay for us….Thank You. I do hope that things are well for you. I'm planning to mail it this week. Thank you again for your advice. I am making notes. I'm wondering if I should include audio recordings that dispute the false allegations that were made about my husband and myself. He is very special to me. We didn't always see eye to eye but I love him dearly. All I wanted was his love. He's 63 and I'm 43. He's a New Yorker and I'm a Virginian. He's hard, I'm soft. He's pessimistic, I'm optimistic. He thinks he hasn't talked with me or had contact with me because I abandoned him. I don't know what they told him.

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@mutwo I am so glad you’re working on staying positive and being busy. That’s the best medicine! As for the tapes, tell the judge that you have them and would be willing to share, but don’t just send them. If the judge wants to listen to then, he’ll ask.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going all the way back to the beginning—you so lovingly talk about you husband, but what put him in the hospital in the first place? You said something about an accident. Do you mind my asking?

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@mutwo

Thank you Fiesty… I will…I've been calling the hospital and they are saying he's not there now. I'm guessing they have listed him as private to restrict our communication. He sounded so desperate for me to come there when I talked with him. When I told him that I couldn't come, he told me that i needed to get there as soon as possible. After that, he stopped answering the phone and when i call the nurses station they say they don't have anyone listed under that name. Seems like they are divorcing us honestly. I started feeling anxious about it but I decided to go to home depot and I'm now starting a flower and vegetable garden to distract myself. I've lost 20 lbs and hadn't even realized it until Thursday when I finally got on the scale. But I feel fine. I watch a lot of youtube videos for encouragement and remind myself that GOD is in control.

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@mutwo, Good for you for "working on yourself and staying busy". Your positive approach and attitude will continue to serve you well during these difficult days. I also find one of the best and surest antidotes for me during stressful times is spending time working in my yard and taking walks. Got a chuckle at one of your earlier posts about the differences between you and your husband. Another instance of how often it is that opposites really do attract.

Was also wondering if perhaps you might consider contacting your local Adult Protection Service. They can often intervene in situations of high family discord. Might be worth a call to see if they could also use tools at their disposal to advocate for you and your husband.

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@fiesty76

@mutwo, Good for you for "working on yourself and staying busy". Your positive approach and attitude will continue to serve you well during these difficult days. I also find one of the best and surest antidotes for me during stressful times is spending time working in my yard and taking walks. Got a chuckle at one of your earlier posts about the differences between you and your husband. Another instance of how often it is that opposites really do attract.

Was also wondering if perhaps you might consider contacting your local Adult Protection Service. They can often intervene in situations of high family discord. Might be worth a call to see if they could also use tools at their disposal to advocate for you and your husband.

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Good thought @fiesty76 !

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@lioness

@mutwo. Im sure that if you have audio recordings that will give the judge more information . You should do this is my opinion

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Thank you

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@becsbuddy

@mutwo I am so glad you’re working on staying positive and being busy. That’s the best medicine! As for the tapes, tell the judge that you have them and would be willing to share, but don’t just send them. If the judge wants to listen to then, he’ll ask.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going all the way back to the beginning—you so lovingly talk about you husband, but what put him in the hospital in the first place? You said something about an accident. Do you mind my asking?

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Thank you for your advice…that’s what I will do. He was hit by a car while riding his bike. I love him dearly but I dnt kno if he loved me the same…he always said love takes time. And I understood because we r all unique. Just because I was eager to love doesn’t make someone wrong for not being the same. It was a hit and run. I’ve called the detective a few times but he says they r still investigating. And I really am enjoying gardening ☺️I’m learning

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@fiesty76

@mutwo, Good for you for "working on yourself and staying busy". Your positive approach and attitude will continue to serve you well during these difficult days. I also find one of the best and surest antidotes for me during stressful times is spending time working in my yard and taking walks. Got a chuckle at one of your earlier posts about the differences between you and your husband. Another instance of how often it is that opposites really do attract.

Was also wondering if perhaps you might consider contacting your local Adult Protection Service. They can often intervene in situations of high family discord. Might be worth a call to see if they could also use tools at their disposal to advocate for you and your husband.

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Knowing that I was able to give u a chuckle, gave me one☺️. I didn’t think of adult protective services, that is a great idea. I’m going to call in the morning

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@mutwo

Knowing that I was able to give u a chuckle, gave me one☺️. I didn’t think of adult protective services, that is a great idea. I’m going to call in the morning

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@mutwo. Have you been able to learn anything in the past couple of weeks? I’m hoping all is well with you. Just remember, we’re here for you, Please let us know what happens. Can you?

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@becsbuddy

@mutwo. Have you been able to learn anything in the past couple of weeks? I’m hoping all is well with you. Just remember, we’re here for you, Please let us know what happens. Can you?

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Hi Becky … I pray all is well for you and your family . I have been able to talk with him more. He is improving : ). I was allowed to give him an iPad last week and I dropped some books and magazines off to him today… he still has the tracheostomy but he is speaking better than he was before. Patience is what I am learning to practice. Thank you so much for checking on us…I love all of you…you have helped me so very much during this hard time…

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@mutwo Hi This is Lioness . Im so happy to hear the message you sent Becky . Glad your husband is getting better and you can see him now . Preserverance is what it took , good for you

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