Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?

The uniqueness of this disease constantly surprises me. Are these times at your sister’s able to provide a bit of respite even though you know the repetitiveness will return?

He mostly doesn’t want to even go there. However not sure if he finds this relaxing or what. It’s just amazing to me how he can turn on and off his repeating

Wow, I notice that too with my husband. I think maybe he’s embarrassed and somewhat aware of his limitations. I’m not sure. I try to be open about my efforts to be more patient with his memory loss and my having to repeat things.

Mine does the same thing. He talks very little when we are out with family, etc. At home he is questioning nearly everything I do repeatedly. He wants to know who I talked to on the phone and asks why I said certain words. If I don't give him the answer he wants he gets irate and huffs and puffs like a child. He asks the same questions over and over in a space of 10 minutes. I can tell him something several times and he can't remember I told him. He has even gone so far as to tell him he deliberately doesn't listen when I talk to him. In addition to his failing mental issues he is also stage 3b chronic kidney disease, congestive heart failure, severe arthritis and can't walk or perform labor intensive tasks. I am tired and feel like I have no time or privacy to myself. He finds fault with nearly everything I do. I will soon start therapy to help me cope with this.

My poor husband now us starting to forget where everything is, where is the bathroom how to eat, never talks when we have Company, he follows me everywhere, I get upset sometimes but right away become nice because he was such a sweet and generous husband for more than 58 yrs.

I guess it’s mostly men who get this disease. They don’t talk about it much. My wife can’t remember past 15 minutes what I or anyone else said. Other wise functions well. We live in an isolated area with no neighbors. Yes we could move,but it would brake her heart and I think she would quit functioning very well. Can’t have a good conversation with her anymore. Mostly just sits and reads. Thanks

@ranch. Maybe there are some activities in this discussion that you might try!
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/activities-to-share/

I think there were some good comments. Don’t have a dog. She doesn’t like dogs. We live 21 miles from town and there is nothing there when you get there. I have back trouble been going to doctors for 90 days with no results. So most days I feel bad which doesn’t help anything. I am 83 and she is 82. House we live in is over 90 years old. Have son and daughter in law live about 35 miles away. They come by and help when necessary, We are in agriculture which is tough. I have been trying to retire but have not been able to completely. There is basically no help of any kind. Thanks

Have you given any consideration to an independent living situation where you have no restrictions but there would be people to have coffee with or talk to if you’d feel like it? Some places have optional care so you would have some help with your wife.
I am in my mid sixties so I feel like that is an odd option for us at this time because of our age. If I was in my eighties, I would definitely just take a look at a couple places.

First time post here but I have been reading the forums for a bit. My Mom was diagnosed last year with dementia and early Alzheimer's. She had lived with my husband and I for years but the amount of care and oversight increased significantly as the illness progressed. I learned what I could from forums and friends that had been caregivers. I did keep in mind that the disease affects people differently. I had to take over Mom's medication after she double dosed herself and ended up in the hospital. She became very apathetic toward everything not wanting to leave the house, bath or even eat regularly. She still recognized people and said she was homesick and wanted to go home to see family and friends. I was able to organize with my siblings and get her home. She passed a couple weeks after I was able to get her home. She was hospitalized with a severe kidney infection. She then had a massive stroke or heart attack. The physician said she had the infection for a long time. This news hit me like a ton of bricks. How did I miss it? Was I not paying enough attention to her? She never complained of pain. It was after that I learned some dementia patients do not register pain like everyone else. She had the kidney infection but was not saying anything about pain or discomfort so I thought she was doing well physically. How does one manage that part of the illness when pain is a sign of something wrong but your loved one does not feel the pain or does not know to tell you.

I so appreciate this forum and the support given. Much pray and hugs to caregivers of those with this disease. It is very draining of energy and spirit to watch someone go through.