Blaming and anger: How do you deal with it?

Mrs. Jekyll was the nicest person ever. I was amazed she had 500 contacts, friends and family, on her iPhone. She fell getting up from the sofa Saturday and said, "Why did you push me?" When she misplaces something in the house, she claims someone stole it. I just ask her some questions or tell her she might be right. Passive control? Five minutes later she'll tell me she loves me.

By all means, I totally get it.
I’ve been dealing with my husband who’s been dx’d with memory loss/probable Altzheimers for almost 2 years. Some days are worse than others but I know the worst is yet to come.
To make matters even more difficult, I’m in a wheelchair after a nasty fall last February and must rely on him for certain things. You don’t know how much that alone makes me so angry.
He’ll open the mail, and put the contents God knows where, and I’m looking everywhere. He’ll deny even opening it, while I’m steaming. Another example: He’ll use something, put it down wherever he used it. I’m looking all over for this object and when (or if) I find it in a weird place, he’ll totally deny putting it there. As you probably know, my BP is off the chart by this time.
I pray and pray for patience/tolerance. I won’t stop my prayers since I feel like that’s the reason I’ve made it this far.
These are just two small examples of my frustration/anger.
Please feel free to contact me if you like. It helps to know I’m certainly not alone.

@elliottw
So sorry. How do you brush it off without it affecting you?

@wascaly
Hugs to you! Do you think it's done on purpose? Are you permanently wheel-chair bound?
I have taken measures to reduce my frustration by scheduling a visit with a therapist.

I don’t think he’s doing anything on purpose. It’s just the disease progressing but, make no mistake even knowing this, it still triggers my anger and my poor-little-me attitude.
I’m hoping my time in this wheelchair is temporary. I’m going to physical therapy so with the Lord’s help, I’ll be able to regain my balance and walk again.
Prayers appreciated.

@wascaly
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Dealing with a person with AZ is difficult at best. Try to use child raising skills. Praise for good behavior. Divert and distract from bad behavior. Change the household routines to your benefit even if it requires little white lies. For example: pick up the mail, pay the bills and marvel at how there's no mail because everything is done online these days. Establish your own bank account. Pay bills online and hide your computer. Find a " sitter" if needed. Lose the keys to the car. Say things once only. Smile a lot.

Hello. I am finding that taking caregiver classes is helping me with tools to manage my husband's target behaviors (the behaviors that cause me the most frustration).
The Alzheimers Association offers free classes for Alz. and dementia.
In my state (Oregon) we have the Oregon Care Partners group that also offer free classes.
All the best. 🪻

The caregivers class fills up pretty fast, so you will want to sign up as early as you think you might want to take them. I signed up in September, and in November I was scheduled for the March session.

@cyds
I bet you don't have to live in Oregon to take the classes from Oregon Care Partners.
So far no waiting for classes, I get right in so hope you can too.