Mayo Clinic Connect
Anyone else in the same boat?
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Parus (@parus) – RE: Being Old With Chronic Pain plus Loneliness…Anyone else in the same boat?
Old? I sign up to that…with 76 trips around the sun. FWIW FYI: Getting old is the natural sequential order of living things. Nobody gets off the planet alive.
Chronic pain? No “Show Stopper Levels” here, only normal day-to-day aches and pains associated with being reminded that I am vintage.
Loneliness? One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. As for me, I, personally, have never been lonely, either when alone or in a crowd.
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Loneliness chronic pain and depression are a trio of killers. Having lived through all three I feel it's appropriate to comment. I recently found the last key to my depression was exercise and I've returned to the gym on an almost daily basis to use what's called a nustep machine. That is the proper spelling. It's a cross trainer that you sit on and it creates no pain in my back and that's the chronic long-lasting pain that I suffer from the most. So it's just the ticket. My dogs and my son help with loneliness and I also make a point of almost daily trips to the grocery store where I visit with the Butcher and the vegetable kid and the ladies at the checkout. fortunately I still have my wife and my adult son who has Down syndrome lives at home with me and I'm as caretaker. Today we're going to St Paul to meet my son and his wife that is my second son and his wife to have lunch in a Mexican market should be a great time. As I said the gym was the last step in dealing with depression. I also use a couple of meds see a psychologist and keep as busy as my physical condition will allow me. Participating in this group is also helpful especially answering other people's comments. It is tough to see what bad places other people are stuck in. My heart goes out. Love & blessings to you all
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@wsh66 Exercise is a wonderful thing. I can no longer due much and it is sad indeed. Gentle stretching and nothing else. Will admit this has me in a dark place. Medications have been worse than the conditions. Stuff happens. I now confess-I am not super woman nor anything else. Spent my life endeavoring to please others-after 65 years I realized this leaves one alone. Much prefer thus. Hard not being the physically active person I like to be. Again, stuff happens. It could be worse is my mantra.
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I will not deny I am vintage…definitely not wine. Chronic pain is a demon and one will get no help other than the helps one provides for self. I am far lonelier in a crowd than alone…nice words from an old song and thank you kindly for your words. “Work your fingers to the Bone”, etc.
Mayhap a few more trips around the sun will be the antidote…”gang aft de glay”…Burns.
Hi parus,lioness here sorry to hear about how pain has crippled you. Do you like to read this can take your mind off for awhile ,how bout audio tapes or even watch cartoons I use to love Tom@Gerry. Do you have buses near by just ride them if you can hope you find something to help.
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@parus – As my old friend Columbo used to say…”er-r-r…just one more thing.”
I see that you came aboard Mayo Connect on Bastille Day 2017. Coincidence or not, maybe it is time for you to consider “Throwing Open Your Personal Prison Gates” un peu. Your Mayo Connect Profile is blank. What is up with that? You can, without loosing your anonymity, tell folks something about yourself in 25-words more or less…
Hope to see you on the flip side.
Love it that's who we all are ,some will share personal things ,I'm like you Keep those things to myself I do hope you e nd something to help If I o but suggest for depression look for St John's Wort it's a herb will help ,no side effects unless your on Coumadin then don't take it .Have you tried Dr,minister of good tried to talk to? I know the feeling of loneliness but not as bad as you are with the pain.I am a positive person by nature but there are moments.Good luck
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I have a sister who lives in Apple Valley, a town surrounded by St. Paul. I have a place to stay if I should ever be able to get to Mayo in Rochester.
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Hello @parus Nice to e-meet you here. I am Scott and I found your post interesting.
I do have chronic pain (knees, carpel tunnel, and lower back), I do fight loneliness as I just lost my wife to brain cancer, but refuse to call myself ‘old’ yet! 🙂
I believe chronic conditions can be the cause of many feelings of loneliness as well as isolating, which can also cause feelings of loneliness.
I fight my loneliness through reading as it also can take my mind off my pain. It also gives me topics I can then learn more about, e-chat with people about, etc.
I also spend some time writing, but that is more of a solitary pursuit for me, but I can really lose myself in it.
I also try and spend some time each day attempting to reconnect with someone from my earlier days. I’ve had mixed results with this, but when it works, it’s been gratifying for both parties.
What have you tried?
Peace & Strength
Have you looked into working online?
Sorry for your depression I haven't experienced this but I can tell you it might be because one of the herbs I take is for depression.Keep your believe in God He will get you through it
Try a new mantra. How about it will be better. Give it a whirl.
@wsh69 Thank you for your input-I had to let that belief go a long time ago. It is a thing called reality.
If something sounds too good to be true….
And what I do…keep most things to myself.
Not fair! jk, everyone is absolutely empowered to tell us all or none. Sometimes the imagination is better than real life and sometimes worse, but it is imagination. I have typically worn my emotions on my sleeve, so I probably offer TMI, but that is just me. Really wouldn't matter if I were anonymous or standing face to face. @parus, you are a great member and please continue to offer what you will.
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I saw your title and question, and, yes, I am in the same boat. The ageing I was starting to get used to … it’s just another cycle in life, blah, blah, blah. Actually, it’s rather freeing. However, the chronic pain and loneliness have sunk me into what seems like a never-ending depression. Seems to be a vicious cycle. I seem to have withdrawn from friends because of the pain and depression. I used to be a ‘glass is half full,’ optimistic person. I don’t know where she went, but she’s gone. Wish I had some wisdom to pass along, but pretty much all I can say is you’re not alone and I hope you find something which enthuses you, as well as relief from your pain.
@jimhd I am going to offer you what my brother, who had lived with the darkest depression at a much younger age, offered me and I have repeated often over the past dozen years or so in relation to my depression. "I have not woken every day of my life feeling like this and I will not wake every other day of my life feeling like this." In the most fatalistic terms, if I carry it to my death, I will wake again in a new world with a new, whole, pain free body. I don't force that belief on anyone, but it is mine.
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That's good for you. I'm 84 and alone no relatives and 2500 miles away from the three relatives I have in NYC. I came to SD and had 7 relatives jall of whom have either died or had to move to the East coast ac of their jobs moving them. And I belong to a minority racial group and an Episcopalisn family that came to tht US in early 1900s. I don't share the history of most of my racial group and therefore don't exactly fit in with them. bUT I keep as busy as I can although being my age I have outlived most of my peers and blood relatives.
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