Beard drama

I would suggest you get a female facial razor. Very easy to use and the job could be done every few days.

Get one of those epilator's - hair removal device - on Amazon to electrically remove your mother's hair. The results last up to about four weeks like a set of high-speed tweezers. It's not painful, and not expensive. And will give you some relief, morning, noon or night.
It's fast too. Hope this helps. Karla

@labrown Good Morning, Yes, we have one but she insists on tweezing. I use both.
The small incident triggered the feeling of being a ‘bathroom attendant/tweezer maid’ after leaving my life behind. I think it just symbolized the bigger losses. It’s just a sad disease and I miss the person she was, I miss my own life, and it breaks my heart to think of others going thru this with spouses and loved ones.

@kjc48 Yes we do have one but she’s insistent on tweezers. I do both. It was just the “last straw” of a long day. I know it’s nothing in the bigger picture. It’s just the looping and repeating and fixating that is draining at times.
🤗❤️

You are allowed to snap. It will happen - especially as caregivers of dementia patients. Please try not to be too hard on yourself. I know you have heard this before but it is true! Tomorrow is another day and you said the right thing…you can help her tomorrow and she can relax knowing that you will help her when you can. Your mom is getting the best care she can get. Both my mom and stepdad have the disease. They live with us and I have been their main caregiver for years. I have snapped so many times but I am so much better at letting it go now and trying to give myself some time & space. It just takes time. Best wishes, Aimee

@gratia I know I feel your pain, every day. We try to move forward,then step back, move forward or so we think. then step back. A tribute to all caregivers.....perseverance and stamina. Best, Karla

@gratia I know that you feel bad about "snapping" at your mother. I snapped at my husband a few days ago because he picks at the dry skin on his arm until it bleeds. I have learned that this picking is a symptom of dementia but occasionally I forget this and am frustrated because I clean and bandage this lesion and then within minutes he is at it again often removing the bandage and exposing the open wound. It has not healed in over a month so I took him to the dermatologist yesterday to have him look at it. He took a biopsy and we are waiting to see if it is another basal cell carcinoma. I lost my patience and I think that is a normal human reaction when you have had it with a very frustrating situation. I also think that "losing it" occasionally releases the built up stress of our daily caregiving lives. We are not perfect but doing the best we can on any given day. About a week ago I finally cried for the first time in this now two year dementia journey. I wasn't crying for myself but for a baby opossum that my dog brought into the house. It had been injured and was now dying. I picked it up wrapped it a towel and held it until it stopped breathing and died. Then the floodgates opened. I was crying and grieving for this baby opossum but ALSO for everything that had happened for the last two years. I also saw this death as what my future will hold, the death of my husband. I realized later that it was also a metaphor for so many recent losses in my life. Thinking about it later, it allowed me to finally release what I had been holding in for two years. We need to be kind and forgiving with ourselves. That is a vital form of self care. May God bless you and your mother.

And lots of self love! Best, Karla

@gratia Have you considered a small cosmetic shaver? My mom had one of those beards that needed to be tended to constantly as well. We got her one of those sh she could mow her face whenever she wanted - safely.

@ocdogmom Thank you so much for sharing. 🤗❤️Two years is a very long time to hold in your tears. We do need to release and let go, or let off steam and we absolutely must practice self care.

It’s such a balancing act and the goal post is always moving with dementia. The unpredictability makes it really difficult. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’m sending you big hugs and supportive thoughts and love.
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