Anyone Else With PTSD?

Posted by Parus @parus, Jul 21, 2017

Curious

@parus

I have realized the more I started reading the more hopeless I became. What helps or works for one may harm another…my father always called me a lone fox as I much preferred nature and the creatures to hanging out or being sociable…weak-kneed describes me well now as my knees are in bad shape and doing physical therapy after being told to not walk since January and now being told to blah, blah, blah…I am weak in many ways and going through the bureaucratic hoops is part of life. Like so many things-“can’t change it, can’t fix it”. By the time one hits 65 and can no longer physically work there is nothing much else left. I see people and smile and laugh-they all see me as happy, funny, entertaining…zaps my strength to do so and even a trip to the grocery is draining.

If knowledge is power and wisdom I have had my share…I stay safe w/ my paint brushes and now paint what is me and not what others want done for them.

I lived a life of being a people pleasing person and this achieved nothing other than wearing my body done to where it can no longer be a pack mule, work horse or gopher. I am not bitter as I did what I did because I genuinely cared…Took me a long time to realize the world is full of users and abusers. There was a time when someone told me something I believed them. This is no longer true for me. I have learned the hard way and much prefer spending my older years still being kind, but far more cautious. The more I start to hear pretty words the more I distance myself.

Could be worse as once I stopped listening to the perverted therapists and taking drugs prescribed by shrinks that were most seeking perks from drug companies…they never listened and went by what the therapist said…beware those wolves in sheep’s clothing I tell myself now.

All of this jibberish comes from reading too much. If someone is wanting to translate this type of thinking into self-pity it is their choice. I personally believe the mental health system is highly over-rated and I am not a negative person so much as a realist as I see how cruel the world has become and always has been. Now there are those with degrees that cannot tell good cow dung from apple butter and surely cannot think outside the box and everyone should fit within the parameters of what they learned from books or the person they are working with is non compliant…my near fatal mistake was being compliant.

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Yes, I have found this to be true for only one. She would get out her book for everything I said. She had to quit SE seeing her. made me so much worse that I Sav I do have to say that my psychiatrists have been pretty good, and I had one terrible therapist and one good one.

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I think it is the PTSD that has me freaked and sometimes the heading of a forum can send me reeling. I need to stop some group or forum. Later when I figure out which one.

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@parus

I think it is the PTSD that has me freaked and sometimes the heading of a forum can send me reeling. I need to stop some group or forum. Later when I figure out which one.

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@parus We are in fragile states emotionally and mentally during these times. Things have turned on their axis and taken us with them. I can fully understand your predicament. One foot in front of the other, as we carefully plod towards our best-for-us-self. Sending cyber hugs.
Ginger

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@parus

I think it is the PTSD that has me freaked and sometimes the heading of a forum can send me reeling. I need to stop some group or forum. Later when I figure out which one.

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