Hi Lisa, thank you for the inquiry and I am more than happy to help. When I had (very extreme) flashbacks, I had issues feeling like I could not even keep my feet on the floor. For instance, I would walk into a grocery store and feel so overwhelmed (I'm assuming due to hyper-vigilance and not being able to 'see/size up' everything going on because there was too much stimuli), and I'd immediately feel like I was going to faint. One of the main practices I was taught during my trauma therapy was that, while making certain there were no shoes/socks involved, taking my feet and pressing them into the floor as hard as I could to feel balanced. I struggled a lot with the yoga due to my inability to concentrate whatsoever. The first time I did Tree Pose (a yoga pose), my therapist actually cried because I was able to actually hold the pose and stay balanced, which meant my concentration had improved enough to actually stay focused. Moreover, I learned a ton about breathing excersices, which were critical (and continue to be, even as so recent as today) I get triggered and find that a lot of these feelings/emotions stem from me not breathing properly. This has been crucial to my recovery, as the more oxygen my body keeps in, the more CO2 I have, which is desperately needed for our brain to function properly. I found that I was either holding my breath (I think my body just overtime 'adapted' to this type of breathing from feeling a sense of constant fear - or that something bad was going to happy, and that I was not breathing properly into my abdomen. During both my EMDR and my yoga therapy, we'd either put bricks on my abdomen or sand bags as a weight. I went to the Juniper Center in the Northwest suburbs of Chicago, and the people I worked with were absolutely phenomenal. Basically I would lay down flat and with either the brick or sand bag on my abdomen, the point was to breathe into my abdomen so deep I could actually see the brick/sandbag move up and down when taking deep breaths, which was telling me I was breathing properly. I actually still do yoga often when I am feeling stressed, anxious, or triggered. I have also began Tai Chi - which, as strangely as it sounds, has helped me tremendously to calm my brain down from anxious thoughts and be able to clear my mind and focus. Tai Chi has been phenomenal in helping me. I was prescribed several anti anxiety medications for my PTSD, but I try and be as holistic as possible. I took Klonopin, Effexor, and a number of other pharmaceuticals within the past several years to try and combat the PTSD. I am actually very proud to say I am no longer taking any of these meds. In my opinion, and this is only my opinion, the meds seem to mask the underlying problem, so to speak. To put it differently, we are not really dealing with the root of the problem because the meds are blocking them out and masking the feelings we need to be experiencing and identifying with to learn how to get over the past and move on, if that makes any sense. Instead of meds, I drink a ton of teas to relax (Chamomile, Wild Sweet Orange, Kava (Stress Relief), Lemon Zinger, etc. I wholeheartedly believe we can combat our PTSD/anxiety/depression through natural remedies such as exercise, brisk walks, natural teas, yoga, Tai Chi, Cardio, Pilates, etc - basically whatever works for a person and fits their particular lifestyle best. I try to do a blend of all of it to keep a healthy mind/body balance, especially due to having extremely anxiety. (For instance, if I'm feeling super anxious, brisk walk. If I'm feeling stressed, a double bag of chamomile tea, If I feel like I can't focus, I will stop and do some Tai Chi or yoga (when possible). I also recommend just charting whatever small steps a person has made on a calendar, to show their progress and chart it on a calendar. For instance, (and as an example), "On the 30th I felt anxious at a level of 8 out of 10. I drank some chamomile tea and did 15 minutes of yoga poses. Afterwards, I felt like a 3 out of 10 with respect to my anxiety." I think charting our progress really helps keep us motivated and also aids in not feeling helpless - showing that there is something that helps. The more we chart with our progress, the more focused we become on tweaking our own remedies and allowing ourselves to understand the PTSD does not control us if we do not let it. This, in itself, is very empowering and healing.
I have a 7 year anniversary coming up as to when my trauma happened - it will be the 23rd of February. Let me just say it has been EXTREMELY ROUGH (...understatement of the century). I have lost SEVERAL 3 figure jobs due to flashbacks coming out of the woodwork (stress makes worse/exasperates PTSD symptoms) and been literally left immobile, unable to move. If there is anyway I can help someone NOT loose so many years of their lives in the event they are continuing to have flashbacks, immobility, etc, I am happy to help in whatever way I can. I'd like to send you a couple of links/reference materials to share to whomever may be able to be benefit from this, but I'm going to need some time to locate them. One book that really helped me was Yoga for Emotional Trauma. Recently, I've been reading a book called A Morning Cup of Tia Chi (very easy, simple and cool read). While, as I mentioned, Tai Chis is 'out there,' Give it a chance! (It's not very known/'normal' to Western culture - it is practiced religiously in other parts of the world (Japan, China, etc) for a more balanced mind/body unity). I cannot tell you how much it helps me tap into my non-emotional (and therefore rational) part of my brain to combat what my emotional part of my brain is telling me. I've learned that emotions will take us over, but only if we choose to let them. Emotions are reactional - but if we know what triggers these emotions, we are able to tell ourselves that we are reacting based on a false feeling of fear based on something that happened long ago. We know we are being triggered from the past and therefore know that what we are feeling (although very strongly) is not actually real, as much as it feels like it. The rational parts of our brain know and understand that although we may be FEELING a certain way (afraid, anxious, etc), our emotions are not actually realistic (they are resorting to an 'autopilot' feeling they've adapted to overtime. Moreover, they are still very powerful if we do not know how to put them in check. However, and as mentioned before, until we can identify what makes us feel a way, we cannot put them into check. This is where EMDR and Nuerofeedback helped me the most. Please don't hesitate to contact me with any and all questions.
Excellent! The detail you give us helps a great deal in actually carrying through with our own treatments. Anything that helps mind, body and soul balance! I do a Tia Chi chant which includes slow movements, where I move to I am Healthy, Happy and Holy. Switch legs and chant, I am grateful, gracious and grounded. Breathing right seems to follow.
Yes, I've had it for years - I'm 72 now and have been affected by it my entire life. Mine revolved around abusive partents - both physical and emotional trauma. I've been in therapy for years - it was so wonderful to let it out and not keeping the SECRET. I'm good now -= but every once in awhile somethings is said or done that bring back that terrible feelings of doom and gloom and depression, the feeling like I really don't care at all about anything anymore. I know I take risks that I shouldn't take - but when things get that bad, I really don't care..
Yes, I've had it for years - I'm 72 now and have been affected by it my entire life. Mine revolved around abusive partents - both physical and emotional trauma. I've been in therapy for years - it was so wonderful to let it out and not keeping the SECRET. I'm good now -= but every once in awhile somethings is said or done that bring back that terrible feelings of doom and gloom and depression, the feeling like I really don't care at all about anything anymore. I know I take risks that I shouldn't take - but when things get that bad, I really don't care..
Good morning and welcome to Mayo Connect @1mountaingirl86. Do you live in the mountains? I love your name. I've also had PTSD for years and it is natural to put up defenses so that we can stop the pain. I think that's why we start to feel like we don't care. I'm curious - what do you mean that you take risks? You have my curiosity on high alert!
You are not alone ..... because of the way I grew up, I prefer to be by myself. Oh, when I'm with friends or a group of people, I can pull it off and seemingly "enjoy myself" but when I leave I'm exhausted. And my favorite past-time is sitting in my chair, hot cup of tea in hand, reading a book ..... a very isolated activity. It's a push for me to "get out there" and like you, the thought of getting a part-time job makes me tired just thinking about it .... I'm 72. I often wonder, what is left for me? I don't know the answer to that one .... only He does.
abby
Oh Gosh! I thought I was the only person that felt at ease and preferred to animals and nature over people. I grew up in a small rural town where they were no children to play with. I can't recall if I was lonely or not - there was PTSD over growing up in that household so I learned never to trust people. Here I am - 72 years old and all I enjoy doing is sitting in my recliner and watching tv -- all day long -= even if the movies are repeats. I have no friends and haven't had any for years -- but I honestly don't miss having them. I prefer my life even though it's blah, blah, blah. Is there something terrible wrong with me? I'm totally uncomfortable in social situations, which is practically non-existent. A total recluse -- but what must sound strange is that I prefer it to being in a group of people. Am I a weirdo??
Oh Gosh! I thought I was the only person that felt at ease and preferred to animals and nature over people. I grew up in a small rural town where they were no children to play with. I can't recall if I was lonely or not - there was PTSD over growing up in that household so I learned never to trust people. Here I am - 72 years old and all I enjoy doing is sitting in my recliner and watching tv -- all day long -= even if the movies are repeats. I have no friends and haven't had any for years -- but I honestly don't miss having them. I prefer my life even though it's blah, blah, blah. Is there something terrible wrong with me? I'm totally uncomfortable in social situations, which is practically non-existent. A total recluse -- but what must sound strange is that I prefer it to being in a group of people. Am I a weirdo??
@1mountaingirl86 Hello-I want you to know I don’t think you’re weird. You are different from me, but that doesn’t make you weird. You mentioned that you were uncomfortable in social situations. Maybe that’s something you want to figure out. But you certainly don’t have to.
Have a happy day watching the tube!!
Karen
Oh Gosh! I thought I was the only person that felt at ease and preferred to animals and nature over people. I grew up in a small rural town where they were no children to play with. I can't recall if I was lonely or not - there was PTSD over growing up in that household so I learned never to trust people. Here I am - 72 years old and all I enjoy doing is sitting in my recliner and watching tv -- all day long -= even if the movies are repeats. I have no friends and haven't had any for years -- but I honestly don't miss having them. I prefer my life even though it's blah, blah, blah. Is there something terrible wrong with me? I'm totally uncomfortable in social situations, which is practically non-existent. A total recluse -- but what must sound strange is that I prefer it to being in a group of people. Am I a weirdo??
@1mountaingirl86- I'm glad that you have written back. I think that all of us feel that no one has feelings like we do. It's just the opposite. And part of PTSD is curling into ourselves. Hiding from the pain that dumped on us. When I was in the worst of PTSD I did just what you did, watching a lot of movies. I tried extremely hard to hide the pain that I was feeling, the rejection and also the amount of lung cancers that I had had. I felt alone, although I'm married to a wonderful, caring man. I isolated myself. But there came a time when I was sick of myself and knew that if I was unhappy and in self isolation than I needed to face my "demons". All I can say, honestly is that it is a process. And it's very very hard. You mentioned in a previous post that you took risks. May I ask what they are?
I don't think that there is anything weird or terribly wrong with you at all, not at all. I do think though that even if you prefer being alone all the time that it is also not the most ideal way to handle your pain. And I think that is what you are asking here.
I am so so sorry that were both physically and emotionally abused. For so so many years I didn't think that I was worth much. I was literally paralyzed into not doing well as that was what I was taught. I can't imagine the pain and feelings of being physically abused at a very young age but I was date raped at 19. Where do you want to go from here?
I agree with everything you said. 11 years of sexual, emotional and verbal abuse almost destroyed me. Alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and after I surrendered all of that and changed, I still wouldn’t face my “Demons.” It made me very sick from the time I was 18 on. It wasn’t until I landed in the hospital with the eating disorder that I was told I needed to deal with my past pain... and my father. It terrified me. But with God, I did it. And as you said, it was a very very long process and very very painful. But it was so worth it. The PTSD and all of it conditions were bad enough but I developed dozens of other diseases as well. Because I took so many years to deal with it, I believe that my chemistry changed and set me up for disease… Mostly neurological. Facing our demons is challenging but the only way to full recovery. Isolation was my worst enemy. Today, I reach out to help people in need almost every day. It brings me out of myself and helps me not focus the chronic physical pain. Thank you so much for sharing. 💖💐
I agree with everything you said. 11 years of sexual, emotional and verbal abuse almost destroyed me. Alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and after I surrendered all of that and changed, I still wouldn’t face my “Demons.” It made me very sick from the time I was 18 on. It wasn’t until I landed in the hospital with the eating disorder that I was told I needed to deal with my past pain... and my father. It terrified me. But with God, I did it. And as you said, it was a very very long process and very very painful. But it was so worth it. The PTSD and all of it conditions were bad enough but I developed dozens of other diseases as well. Because I took so many years to deal with it, I believe that my chemistry changed and set me up for disease… Mostly neurological. Facing our demons is challenging but the only way to full recovery. Isolation was my worst enemy. Today, I reach out to help people in need almost every day. It brings me out of myself and helps me not focus the chronic physical pain. Thank you so much for sharing. 💖💐
Dear Peggyella: Hello there one of my fellow sufferers. You will make it because you are trying. To me it seems to never go away completely. Time does help. I grew up from infancy with mistreatmemt, starvation, never ever was told I was loved, never given a kiss but instead I was told how ugly I was, how stupid crazy and insane. Belittled at home and the worst, in public. So many different and ugly ways. And also beaten, many, many, many times. I am sure there are many others of us who have been treated even worse than I. Now, going on age 82 time has helped. Of course I have realized this many years age. It slowly gets better each year. There are many triggers that bring the old suffering to the surface again. Over and over. But, as I have said before, you are trying and anytime you can help a person, an animal, a plant do this. You are helping yourself as well as the other and this makes you loved by many, many others. With love, Peach .
Dear Peggyella: Hello there one of my fellow sufferers. You will make it because you are trying. To me it seems to never go away completely. Time does help. I grew up from infancy with mistreatmemt, starvation, never ever was told I was loved, never given a kiss but instead I was told how ugly I was, how stupid crazy and insane. Belittled at home and the worst, in public. So many different and ugly ways. And also beaten, many, many, many times. I am sure there are many others of us who have been treated even worse than I. Now, going on age 82 time has helped. Of course I have realized this many years age. It slowly gets better each year. There are many triggers that bring the old suffering to the surface again. Over and over. But, as I have said before, you are trying and anytime you can help a person, an animal, a plant do this. You are helping yourself as well as the other and this makes you loved by many, many others. With love, Peach .
Hello, Peach. You’re so sweet. Thank you for your encouragement. I won’t ever be 100% over it. Life isn’t easy. No child, or even an adult, can be abused and completely whole... maybe 99% until we’re with our Lord where there’s no more suffering. But at least I’m 90% better emotionally than I used to be. It’s been a long journ’ey to healing from my past. Sometimes it feels like my life has lasted too long. But I find joy every day. That’s not just a cliche, I really do. My physical pain isn’t so much fun, but as long as I wake up with breath in my lungs, I’ll stay on this journey and reach out to others with all that’s within me. God bless you, sweet lady. Love, Peggy 🙏💖
Dear Peggyella: Hello there one of my fellow sufferers. You will make it because you are trying. To me it seems to never go away completely. Time does help. I grew up from infancy with mistreatmemt, starvation, never ever was told I was loved, never given a kiss but instead I was told how ugly I was, how stupid crazy and insane. Belittled at home and the worst, in public. So many different and ugly ways. And also beaten, many, many, many times. I am sure there are many others of us who have been treated even worse than I. Now, going on age 82 time has helped. Of course I have realized this many years age. It slowly gets better each year. There are many triggers that bring the old suffering to the surface again. Over and over. But, as I have said before, you are trying and anytime you can help a person, an animal, a plant do this. You are helping yourself as well as the other and this makes you loved by many, many others. With love, Peach .
@peach414144, @peggyella- Good morning. You both have braved through terrible abuse and I am amazed at the strength that you both have shared. I agree, by the way, that parts of our history never leaves us. I will always, always look for approval and love to replace my neediness from childhood. I want to know so much and research constantly so that I wont be thought of as stupid. The awful weight that is dumped on all of us is abominable.
As adults we react to our memories of these unnecessary abuses and react to them differently as we did when we were actually in them. But the memories can still cut us to the quick. My being a volunteer mentor on Connect has helped me beyond measurement. Reaching out to extend a hand, a shoulder are miracle "drugs" for those giving and those receiving. Thank you. You also bring up excellent points, that emotions can cause irreparable harm to our bodies, reduce our immune systems and almost cripple us. But we can all persevere. Thank you for sharing your incredible hope. I is a gift for everyone!
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Excellent! The detail you give us helps a great deal in actually carrying through with our own treatments. Anything that helps mind, body and soul balance! I do a Tia Chi chant which includes slow movements, where I move to I am Healthy, Happy and Holy. Switch legs and chant, I am grateful, gracious and grounded. Breathing right seems to follow.
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Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsYes, I've had it for years - I'm 72 now and have been affected by it my entire life. Mine revolved around abusive partents - both physical and emotional trauma. I've been in therapy for years - it was so wonderful to let it out and not keeping the SECRET. I'm good now -= but every once in awhile somethings is said or done that bring back that terrible feelings of doom and gloom and depression, the feeling like I really don't care at all about anything anymore. I know I take risks that I shouldn't take - but when things get that bad, I really don't care..
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1 ReactionGood morning and welcome to Mayo Connect @1mountaingirl86. Do you live in the mountains? I love your name. I've also had PTSD for years and it is natural to put up defenses so that we can stop the pain. I think that's why we start to feel like we don't care. I'm curious - what do you mean that you take risks? You have my curiosity on high alert!
Oh Gosh! I thought I was the only person that felt at ease and preferred to animals and nature over people. I grew up in a small rural town where they were no children to play with. I can't recall if I was lonely or not - there was PTSD over growing up in that household so I learned never to trust people. Here I am - 72 years old and all I enjoy doing is sitting in my recliner and watching tv -- all day long -= even if the movies are repeats. I have no friends and haven't had any for years -- but I honestly don't miss having them. I prefer my life even though it's blah, blah, blah. Is there something terrible wrong with me? I'm totally uncomfortable in social situations, which is practically non-existent. A total recluse -- but what must sound strange is that I prefer it to being in a group of people. Am I a weirdo??
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2 Reactions@1mountaingirl86 Hello-I want you to know I don’t think you’re weird. You are different from me, but that doesn’t make you weird. You mentioned that you were uncomfortable in social situations. Maybe that’s something you want to figure out. But you certainly don’t have to.
Have a happy day watching the tube!!
Karen
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2 Reactions@1mountaingirl86- I'm glad that you have written back. I think that all of us feel that no one has feelings like we do. It's just the opposite. And part of PTSD is curling into ourselves. Hiding from the pain that dumped on us. When I was in the worst of PTSD I did just what you did, watching a lot of movies. I tried extremely hard to hide the pain that I was feeling, the rejection and also the amount of lung cancers that I had had. I felt alone, although I'm married to a wonderful, caring man. I isolated myself. But there came a time when I was sick of myself and knew that if I was unhappy and in self isolation than I needed to face my "demons". All I can say, honestly is that it is a process. And it's very very hard. You mentioned in a previous post that you took risks. May I ask what they are?
I don't think that there is anything weird or terribly wrong with you at all, not at all. I do think though that even if you prefer being alone all the time that it is also not the most ideal way to handle your pain. And I think that is what you are asking here.
I am so so sorry that were both physically and emotionally abused. For so so many years I didn't think that I was worth much. I was literally paralyzed into not doing well as that was what I was taught. I can't imagine the pain and feelings of being physically abused at a very young age but I was date raped at 19. Where do you want to go from here?
Here's another group that you might want to look at: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/inability-to-live-a-normal-life/
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3 ReactionsI agree with everything you said. 11 years of sexual, emotional and verbal abuse almost destroyed me. Alcohol, drugs, eating disorders, and after I surrendered all of that and changed, I still wouldn’t face my “Demons.” It made me very sick from the time I was 18 on. It wasn’t until I landed in the hospital with the eating disorder that I was told I needed to deal with my past pain... and my father. It terrified me. But with God, I did it. And as you said, it was a very very long process and very very painful. But it was so worth it. The PTSD and all of it conditions were bad enough but I developed dozens of other diseases as well. Because I took so many years to deal with it, I believe that my chemistry changed and set me up for disease… Mostly neurological. Facing our demons is challenging but the only way to full recovery. Isolation was my worst enemy. Today, I reach out to help people in need almost every day. It brings me out of myself and helps me not focus the chronic physical pain. Thank you so much for sharing. 💖💐
Dear Peggyella: Hello there one of my fellow sufferers. You will make it because you are trying. To me it seems to never go away completely. Time does help. I grew up from infancy with mistreatmemt, starvation, never ever was told I was loved, never given a kiss but instead I was told how ugly I was, how stupid crazy and insane. Belittled at home and the worst, in public. So many different and ugly ways. And also beaten, many, many, many times. I am sure there are many others of us who have been treated even worse than I. Now, going on age 82 time has helped. Of course I have realized this many years age. It slowly gets better each year. There are many triggers that bring the old suffering to the surface again. Over and over. But, as I have said before, you are trying and anytime you can help a person, an animal, a plant do this. You are helping yourself as well as the other and this makes you loved by many, many others. With love, Peach .
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Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsHello, Peach. You’re so sweet. Thank you for your encouragement. I won’t ever be 100% over it. Life isn’t easy. No child, or even an adult, can be abused and completely whole... maybe 99% until we’re with our Lord where there’s no more suffering. But at least I’m 90% better emotionally than I used to be. It’s been a long journ’ey to healing from my past. Sometimes it feels like my life has lasted too long. But I find joy every day. That’s not just a cliche, I really do. My physical pain isn’t so much fun, but as long as I wake up with breath in my lungs, I’ll stay on this journey and reach out to others with all that’s within me. God bless you, sweet lady. Love, Peggy 🙏💖
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1 Reaction@peach414144, @peggyella- Good morning. You both have braved through terrible abuse and I am amazed at the strength that you both have shared. I agree, by the way, that parts of our history never leaves us. I will always, always look for approval and love to replace my neediness from childhood. I want to know so much and research constantly so that I wont be thought of as stupid. The awful weight that is dumped on all of us is abominable.
As adults we react to our memories of these unnecessary abuses and react to them differently as we did when we were actually in them. But the memories can still cut us to the quick. My being a volunteer mentor on Connect has helped me beyond measurement. Reaching out to extend a hand, a shoulder are miracle "drugs" for those giving and those receiving. Thank you. You also bring up excellent points, that emotions can cause irreparable harm to our bodies, reduce our immune systems and almost cripple us. But we can all persevere. Thank you for sharing your incredible hope. I is a gift for everyone!
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Helpful -
Hug
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