Mayo Clinic Connect
Hi @jeanie26, I'm so glad that you shared your story with all of us here. It does help to share with others who "have been there" and who get it. I'm sorry that this new situation has caused you to be fearful again and to experience PTSD. I'm not a counselor, but part of me thinks your reaction IS your strength, not a weakness. Your intelligence and your entire body reaction helped you make the right decision 1) to ask the man to leave and 2) to get help from your son when the man returned and 3) to reach out to talk to someone like the members of this community.
It won't take you 20 years to get back to the place where you feel safe and to have control again. It may not even take 20 days. You know the path to get there and you will walk it again. There are fewer obstacles to overcome this time and we're beside you.
But, as others have suggested, you need to put things in place for your security and for potential setbacks which may happen at any time of day. In those times, it is good to have a list of numbers to call for any type of emergency or crisis, whether you are afraid for your safety or if you need to talk with someone.
To talk with a trained counselor:
The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 am–6 pm, ET.
Or you can text NAMI to 741-741 https://www.crisistextline.org/
Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message
See this webpage by NAMI that lists a variety of help lines https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/NAMI-HelpLine#crisis
Create a list on paper. Have the numbers in your phone for quick dial. Whatever works best for you.
Here's a list I might recommend:
– NAMI 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
– NAMI text
– Your son's contact info
– Your closest neighbor
– A friend
– National Domestic Violence Hotline – Call 800-799-SAFE (7233)
What other things would you like to have around you to help you regain your control and feel safe? What would you add to the list?
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Counselors are great but people in my situation need immediate healthcare. I was raped years ago and had his child he brcame med student and made threats to damage my intestines and give me the needle. Him and his cohorts did this to me and I need ER medical or he and his family will get away with murder. Since he related to powerful people I am stopped from access to everything. He can even do healthcare fraud and gets cops and doctors to help harm me alter my records. I have multiple parasites hookworm tapeworm possibly heven hydtid cysts and doctors here deliberately are helping him to murder me because his families lies and many cohorts. If you find my situation unbelievable please visit. My hair is now falling out possibly from his last scheme.
Liked by Jim, Volunteer Mentor
All my hair fell out his family keeps getting people to do healthcare fraud.
Tapeworm these are migrating umbilocus liver extremities legs are breasts etc..
Hookworm this one I was able to remove on my own.
These are "imaginary" ignored on purpose.
***Note from the Community Director****
The images posted in this discussion were removed for fear that they may be a PTSD trigger for the members participated in this discussion.
Liked by Parus
Have you ever considered to some how remove yourself from being anywhere near this person? Being away from this person can help you to heal at least somewhat. There are people who do believe you but are afraid to be associated with you for fear that this person will also hurt them. Some how please try to be far far away from this person so you can start to heal your body and your mind. Do not mention this to any new doctors. Only concentrate on healing yourself which means getting mental health. I continue to see a mental health doctor and will till the day I die. There are people here who do care for you but you must make the first move. We are here for you.
Liked by Jim, Volunteer Mentor, Ginger, Volunteer Mentor, sears
@kayemem I'm appalled at what he is getting away with. Have you kept a record to document everything? Have you considered moving away to start over? I hope you have some friends who see what's going on and give you support. I know that counselors can't heal your medical problems, but they will help heal the inner pain. I speak from experience. I'm alive today thanks in part to them.
Liked by Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
@kayemem I hope you're not in crisis. If you seek treatment, you know what this means. Connect isnt the best forum for people in crisis. Please call your provider and seek help from their after hours service or call the crisis hotline.
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Parus, sears
@parus I am an incest survivor. I was physically and sexually abused as a child (we’re talking broken bones stuff). I also was sexually assaulted as a young adult by a stranger. I decided to not let my abuse or past define me. I am a SURVIVOR. I do not need to give my abusers the power to continue to hurt me through flashbacks and triggers. They certainly aren’t thinking on it any longer! A huge part of my childhood was taken – they WILL not take the rest of my life. It is MY choice. I am so very sorry you were not helped with therapy. There are some bad therapists out there, but there are many good ones. I am on medication for depression and find it really helps me. I know there are members in my own family who refuse to believe they have a mental illness (two are bi-polar and one is schizophrenic) and they “self” medicate with drugs and/or alcohol. It is so sad, as they are only making their life worse. There is no shame in having a mental illness. It is like any other illness. Your brain is an organ. If you had a brain tumor, you would get it looked at and fixed. But why people have a hard time with brain chemistry being out of balance and causing an illness (just like insulin in diabetes) is beyond me. I believe with all my heart and soul that there is help out there for everyone. Even if it is self education through books. The thing is, you must do all the hard work. Ignore what doesn’t work for you and really practice what does. I am so sorry you feel so hopeless (sounds like depression to me – been there, done that many times!). There are even some studies which show brain chemistry is forever altered in children who have been through continuous situations of abuse and extreme stress. But this does NOT mean you can’t live a good life. You don’t have to be a product of your past. YOU decide who you want to be mentally and daily work to accomplish that goal. I am by no means saying it is easy. It is HARD, emotional work. It has taken me years (and, yes, medication). But I am so much better than I used to be. I, personally, also find my strength in God. I truly feel He has given me the strength and wisdom to move forward. I no longer hate my abusers. I certainly don’t want to have lunch with them, but I can cast them aside in my mind with no anger when they pop up. So much is about changing the negative self talk, about replacing a negative emotion with a positive one. I will be praying for you. I know the road is long, but once you start putting one foot in front of the other and stop thinking about how far you have to go, you will see improvement.
Blindeyepug, I totally agree with your insite and self help. From one survivor to another, I am very concerned about your being stalked by this therapist. I am sure you have tried to stop this madness. Would you please give us an update on that situation? thanks
Hello Everyone, just a quick note to let you know I am still doing well from my last episode with PTSD symptoms. I spoke with my DR. and she applauded me on my self help skills and a quick recovery. I just want everyone to know there is life with PTSD. Learning coping skills can help a lot when you feel the symptoms coming on. Everyone is different in which skills help the best but please seek to learn how to deal with PTSD symptoms. It helps me to write things down, not because I will forget but as a reminder that these feelings are not harmful, just uncomfortable. Sometimes putting your feelings on paper or on a forum such as this one can make a difference. Believe it or not, you can get through this but you have to put forth an effort. Healing won't come to you, you have to go to it. Be determined, refuse to be a victim any longer, make the first move and stick with it. Seek professional help, and start loving yourself. Until the next time, God Bless Jeanie26
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Parus, Ginger, Volunteer Mentor, sears
Thank you for returning to give us an update, @jeanie26 and leaving this message of hope. You are so right that it helps to write things down. Doing that in a forum like this one has the added benefit of getting support. I'm confident that the next person who needs support here, you will be the first to jump in and give it.
Liked by Parus, Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
Hello everyone, i wanted to check in a let everyone know I am doing very well. I have a therapist now and she is wonderful. She introduced me to a few things that has helped me and wanted to pass them on. I have always had problems sleeping, I would get extremely anxious when just falling asleep and would struggle the rest of the night. There are some very good relaxation tapes on youtube that can help with sleep. Go to youtube and put sleep in the search box. look around a little and find some that you especially like. I like the Native American flute music myself but check them out and find something that is relaxing to you.A lot of them last for hours and some days but you don;t have to listen to the whole thing, just listen to as much as you want or need to. Also, there are several types of therapies that are especially good for those of us with PTSD. they are EMDR, A.R.T( accelerated Resolution therapy ) & brainspotting. If you already have a therapist, ask him/her if you are a candidate for these therapies, if you don't have a therapist, you may want to check into finding one that does these therapies. Another type of help with PTSD is what's called Bilateral Bands, at Touchpoint Solutions. These are bands that fit on your arms that beat from side to side or (arm to arm) the beats has been proven to have a calming effect. These can be a little pricey so see if you can find some cheaper ones on line or maybe some used ones on Ebay. So there you have it for now. I just want to say this one thing. If you suffer from PTSD, it's like anything else, you get out what you put in. You MUST stop doing nothing and start doing something to help yourself. Sitting at home feeling miserable is not the answer, and the answer will not come knocking at your door. You absolutely must get involved with your own recovery. If one thing doesn't work, try another. Give it your utmost attention. Be determined to feel better. PTSD is a lifelong condition but it doesn't have to be a lifelong struggle. Take command of your life. Be absolutely committed to feeling better. It's YOUR life. You no longer live in the past, it's gone, there's nothing you can do to change that, but you can change how you deal with it. You can do this, I know because I've been there done that and I know you can overcome. Just DO IT. love to you all. God Bless. Jeanie
Liked by Colleen Young, Connect Director, Parus, Ginger, Volunteer Mentor
@jeanie26 Good news as well as words of encouragement to all of we PTSD minions.
Is anyone else with PTSD having struggles with all of the face masks and lack of respect for social distancing? I have been having some struggles with things I am seeing. So thankful for senior hours. Seems the world has become an even less welcome place.
Yes, I am sure that some of us are having these difficulties. The world is constantly changing over and again. We really are the same as everyone else but with a few more horrors added to our lives. Many people could not put up with what we have to but we do. I am now in constant pain with no pulse in my feet due to chronic venous insufficiency. My feet are turning black. Perhaps this will keep my mind off the world's conflict's. Excuse my bitterness as sometimes PTSD overcomes me. Some how I will smile and good luck to you.
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