Any caregivers going thru excessive drinking with spouse with MCI?

Hi @mtdt757, I moved your question to the Caregivers: Dementia support group (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/caregivers-dementia/) where you can connect with other members who are caring for someone living with mild cognitive impairment.

I can imagine you were shocked at your husband's behavior and worried when he was throwing up later. Is this a brand new behavior for your husband? Does he recall his behavior that you're able to discuss what triggers it?

New behavior. It's different every day. No idea for this behavior. I'm figuring out the causes . I have quit getting stressed over New behaviors. One day at a time

Yes. My wife (with 7-8 years into MCI diagnosis) was a nightly wine drinker for years, but it has increased as her disease progresses. Her poor short term memory worsens with the first drink. She has stated she has not desire to stop drinking (I stopped 5 years ago) because it's her only pleasure and her prognosis is so bad. There is no reaoning with her. Once or twice a week she goes into a blackout and turns into a very confrontational person and threatens to divorce me or to move into the guest bedroom. An hour later she may be loving and has not memory of the other personality. It's hard to listen to, but it's worse if I engage her. I could try to take her wine away, but she would get it on her own and she becomes belligerent if I mention her drinking. You have my sympathy and empathy.

@wctdoc1943
My husband was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer’s 15 months ago at Mayo. His doctors have told him to stop or at least limit his drinking but he won’t. He at times feels bad and asks me to help him limit his drinking but when I do, he gets angry and says I don’t love him. I’m tempted to try to take all the alcohol away, but he’ll get more. I’ve given up but it also makes me sad. Selfishly I want him to control his drinking so he won’t progress to later stages of Alzheimer’s more quickly , but I don’t think he really cares.

@wctdoc1943 I’ve been mixing FRE alcohol removed Cabernet wine with
My wife’s regular Cabernet for over a year. It works for her. She still gets her favorite wine with half the alcohol content.

@kmkb Sounds like our spouses are very similar. My wife never drank very much until the last few years, but it has only gotten worse as her cognitive impairment has worsened. She is in complete denial that she has an alcohol abuse disorder (she would never admit to being "alcoholic"). She does recognize at times that she is "loaded" or has had "too much to drink" but not drunk. She has no desire to limit her alcohol intake or to stop and seems to lack insight that it will worsen her impairment. She is very confrontational and strong-willed and I would have to fight her to take it away. She can still drive and would continue to buy it (I buy it for her just to keep her off the streets for now). Her short term memory is very poor but 10X worse when she drinks. She has told me she doesn't give a f*** if it kills her. I don't think there is anything we can do about it with the attitudes expressed. I'm unwilling to face her wrath should I try to take it away.

I’ve been reading all of these posts about drinking and it makes me stop and think about my husband. He goes to the store and stocks up on wine about every two weeks. He has been encouraged to stop by neuro and psych. I don’t find that he drinks in excess, ever, but like many of you have stated, it doesn’t help his diagnosis/symptoms. The lucky part that I know keeps drinking to a minimum is that he lost 35 lbs by using a journaling app, is at his ideal weight and continues to journal and stay within his parameters obsessively. Anyway, it’s something to keep my eye on.
Thank you all.

@lkbous You sound fortunate regarding his drinking. Everyone is different (duh). I strongly believe in optimizing quality of life, and my wife believes wine helps her quality of life, despite being told that she should not drink and that drinking will accelerate her cognitive loss. She seems unaware of how much worse her memory and executive function become with even one glass of wine and her personality often changes to Ms Hyde after another glass or two, which affects my quality of life. She has always been confrontational and she would not take it well if I tried to take it away (she is still capable of driving). She drinks this awful semi-sweet (blush) white zinfandel in a box with a sealed bladder, so diluting it isn't possible. I just feel like I am stuck with this situation. I quit drinking 5 years ago, but this situation (ironically) makes me want to drink as an escape (but I won't). Hugs to all dealing with the various forms of this issue.

@wctdoc1943 I don’t drink either, I have found cbd gummies with thc are very helpful. I get them through the mail, but it depends on where you live, if that’s an option. Thank you for reaching out. Good luck to you.

Hy husband rarely drank if ever before being diagnosed with MCI. Now he has developed a taste for really sweet wine. Previously he disliked wine and would never drink it, but now he will buy it at the grocery store if he goes with me and asks for a glass every Friday and Saturday night. If this continues I will definitely be keeping an eye on the habit. I stopped drinking years ago for health reasons, but I used to have a wine collection, so I wonder if this is where the thought comes from.