Any caregivers going thru excessive drinking with spouse with MCI?

@wctdoc1943 I don't drink but my husband seems to think it helps him. His physical condition is not good as he uses a walker so drink does not help. I finally gave in to him and an occasional glass of wine seems ok. More than he has a tendency to get an edge(can be mean to me) and does not help with sundowners. We have been married 36 years and he was more a party guy but rarely over the edge. The neurologist says no drinking with dementia as it affects the brain. So much has been taken away I feel a glass of wine is minor. He was having a couple hard alcohol drinks and it was bad and I took video so he could see. So a glass of wine minor.

@klsquires My sister drank wine before she was diagnosed. I’m not sure how much. She now says she likes to have a glass of wine with dinner and while making dinner. She still lives by herself and sometimes when I see her in the evening and when I call her to remind her to take her evening meds she has had too much to drink. I think if you can keep it to one glass on the weekend he should be fine. My sister buys one bottle of wine when I take her to the store. When it’s gone it’s gone until we go to the store again. Take care

@wctdoc1943 You might try the non alcoholic wine. I grateful my wife with severe Frontaltemporal dimencia has been sober for 12 years thanks to AA. Even then caring for her is quite difficult. Her comprehension is nearly zero.

I’m 10 years in on my journey with my husband and his cognitive impairment. I first noticed changes in 2016. We had always been social drinkers and would have a drink with friends or at events and occasionally some wine with dinner or in the evening. Around the time of his official MCI diagnosis (late 2018), he had developed a habit of pouring a glass of whiskey each evening “to savor”. These were juice glasses that hold about 2 cups of liquid. I mentioned that looked like a lot of liquor, and he’d say “it’s mostly ice”. Then one glass became two glasses every night. He would stay up later and later. I was still working and we went to bed together so I would fall asleep on the couch while he watched TV and drank, night after night. I knew this wasn’t healthy (for him or me) and his behavior was getting worse-he was getting mean, nasty at times. His medication bottles all said no alcohol. No amount of logical reasoning was working and he would lie to his doctor about the amount of whiskey he was drinking. Finally, one day after I discovered even more information about his behavior and what he was and wasn’t doing in our relationship and uncovered several terrible lies, I had to lay down the law. No more drinking of any kind if he wanted to stay with me. If he wanted to drink he needs to pack up and move out first. And I meant it. He doesn’t remember the details of any of the horrible and hurtful things he did to me during that time but he has NOT forgotten that he’s done drinking alcohol. He will occasionally have a Michelob Zero or other non-alcoholic beer, but that’s it. I am still hurt by his actions that occurred when he was drinking and honestly I am envious of his ability to forget them. It seems his dementia has erased all of that as if it never happened. I believe that it would make my caregiving for him easier if he hadn’t trashed our relationship right before he started needed so much more help. Looking back, I realize that this was part of the process of his disease, but it’s still hard for me. If I am honest, on the bad days m, there are times when I wonder if my life would be better if I had left him back then. It was all just so crazy and I didn’t understand what was happening and how much of what was going on was his actual cognizant choices and how much was just his brain betraying him and me. I can honestly say it was the worst time of my life. The bottom line for me is that him drinking alcohol made EVERYTHING worse. I am incredibly happy that with all the difficulties managing his health, medication, diet, and appointments, I don’t have all that alcohol drama added into the mix. I realize my solution is rather draconian, but it was appropriate and worked in my situation. I wonder if the non-alcoholic beer would be a solution that might help in your situation?
Take care of you.

@lkbous I'm afraid I have an addictive personality and I suspect it is best for me to avoid cbd, even though it is legal here. I'm afraid I might like it a bit too much😎. But thanks for the suggestion. Not being judgmental and I'm happy it helps you.

@lulululu My wife's cognition worsens noticebly after even one glass of wine. But I agree with you completely...so much has been taken away from them. My wife actually makes that point. If he enjoys his wine and you're okay with it, it is minor. In my wife's case it is more than minor, but I'm willing to tolerate it if it makes her happy.