Alzheimers and lost time

Posted by katrina123 @katrina123, Oct 17, 2023

Some of you probably can relate to this. My husband has Alzheimer's. He was diagnosed 6 months ago but he is considered in the moderate stage.
I asked him "Honey, why are you constantly wanting to kiss me?" and he said, "I am so glad that you are back because you were gone for so many years."
We have been married for over 50 years and we have never been apart. This disease is very perplexing.

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I was so glad to see this comment. My husband does this as well... constantly. It is driving me crazy. We are almost 6 years in on this journey. It does not get easier. I have never asked him why he wants to kiss me all the time. Never thought of it. I will do that today and see what he says. He also constantly tells me how much he loves me and needs to touch me all the time. It gets difficult. I never get any privacy. Day by day....

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@katrina123 this must be such a difficult time for you. I included a link to Mayo Clinic’s information on Alzheimer’s disease. It talks about the various changes a person with Alzheimer’s goes through. My thought, also is, that even though persons with AD don’t that something is wrong with themselves, they may pick it up from others. Thus, when your husband wants to kiss you and feels that you’ve been gone, he’s really saying thank you for being here and helping me. (Just my most unprofessional suggestion)
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20350447
Are there other symptoms of your husband’s that bother you?

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terrilynne,
We have a lot in common. I think it is difficult for people to understand just how tiring this can be having someone constantly touching, hugging and telling me he loves me. We were at my husband's neurologist office yesterday and I told him about how touchy feely my husband is, and the neurologist said that he believes that it gives him comfort in a world that has changed so much for him. Sometimes I stop and think about how lucky I am that he is not being mean to me. Some caregivers on this sight are dealing with situations that are so bad that I almost feel guilty even talking about this.

What I am beginning to realize is that the husband I have had for over 50 years is leaving me little by little and I can't expect him to be the person he was before his brain damage (Alzheimer's). I am trying very hard to take this one day at a time and not think about what is going to happen next.

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this for such a long time. I can't imagine.
Katrina

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@becsbuddy

@katrina123 this must be such a difficult time for you. I included a link to Mayo Clinic’s information on Alzheimer’s disease. It talks about the various changes a person with Alzheimer’s goes through. My thought, also is, that even though persons with AD don’t that something is wrong with themselves, they may pick it up from others. Thus, when your husband wants to kiss you and feels that you’ve been gone, he’s really saying thank you for being here and helping me. (Just my most unprofessional suggestion)
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20350447
Are there other symptoms of your husband’s that bother you?

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Becky...Thanks you for the link. Yes, I understand that this gives him comfort in what is now a very confusing world for him.

Yes, this is a very difficult time for me especially after just being notified that my breast MRI came back a Birads 4 - suspicious for cancer. It has been less than 4 years since I had a lumpectomy for a rare cancer. I have a rare immune disease, so I have had an imaging every 3 or 4 months for the last 4 years.
If I do have cancer it is going to be very complicated since my husband can no longer drive and he is not capable of fixing meals.
Katrina

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@katrina123

terrilynne,
We have a lot in common. I think it is difficult for people to understand just how tiring this can be having someone constantly touching, hugging and telling me he loves me. We were at my husband's neurologist office yesterday and I told him about how touchy feely my husband is, and the neurologist said that he believes that it gives him comfort in a world that has changed so much for him. Sometimes I stop and think about how lucky I am that he is not being mean to me. Some caregivers on this sight are dealing with situations that are so bad that I almost feel guilty even talking about this.

What I am beginning to realize is that the husband I have had for over 50 years is leaving me little by little and I can't expect him to be the person he was before his brain damage (Alzheimer's). I am trying very hard to take this one day at a time and not think about what is going to happen next.

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with this for such a long time. I can't imagine.
Katrina

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Hi Katrina... yes, it does appear that our husbands are exhibiting similar behaviors. My hubby also asks about having sex constantly. It becomes so wearing. This am was difficult. He gets upset. Fortunately, there is not outward anger... just moody, brooding and complaining. I feel like I am drowning a good bit of the time now. It is simply exhausting. You can relate. Nice to have someone else to let me know that I am not the only one. Off to try to get a shower while he is sitting down and looking outside. We'll see if I get any privacy...

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I think time to some one with a memory problem is different than ours. My Dad who had Dementia was very angry with me, saying I hadn’t called him in months. Actually, I called him every week and was going to send him my phone bill to prove it. He lost a block of time because of Dementia and I’m not sure how long these blocks can go. Maybe they can go years?
My husband always was a sex addict and that hasn’t changed.

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@terrilynne

I was so glad to see this comment. My husband does this as well... constantly. It is driving me crazy. We are almost 6 years in on this journey. It does not get easier. I have never asked him why he wants to kiss me all the time. Never thought of it. I will do that today and see what he says. He also constantly tells me how much he loves me and needs to touch me all the time. It gets difficult. I never get any privacy. Day by day....

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My husband wants to touch and kiss me all the time while he tells me he loves me. Maybe he is going back in time and is thinking like a young man again? I find he is more sensitive about things than he was before and is becoming more like a child in some ways. It was always about sex with him and it still is, but it is confusing to me now that he is regressing. Such a strange disease Dementia is!

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janet7
You, terrilynne and I have a lot in common.
A person has to live through this to really understand what this is like.

Here's to a big hug for all of us. Actually, a big hug to all of the caregivers.

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@katrina123

janet7
You, terrilynne and I have a lot in common.
A person has to live through this to really understand what this is like.

Here's to a big hug for all of us. Actually, a big hug to all of the caregivers.

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totally agree... only those of us going through it have a real understanding of what it is like. One of the things that gets to me is when we go out with friends... My hubby has a wonderful time as do I. He "showtimes" and everyone thinks all is good - that is what they see then. Over the next couple of days my friends call and say how well he is doing... They don't have a clue of the "acting" and stress I experience on a daily basis. I don't correct them... would be no point. But, it does add to the stress.

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@janet7

My husband wants to touch and kiss me all the time while he tells me he loves me. Maybe he is going back in time and is thinking like a young man again? I find he is more sensitive about things than he was before and is becoming more like a child in some ways. It was always about sex with him and it still is, but it is confusing to me now that he is regressing. Such a strange disease Dementia is!

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Janet, Don’t undervalue the cuddles. You will likely miss a lot them a lot if you lose your partner.

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