Concern about what others will think of your mental illness

Posted by Roxie43 @roxie43, Jan 11, 2012

Happy New Year's All,
I have read many of your posts and have also shared some experiences. I think Mayo Clinic is great for allowing us the opportunity to express how we feel, make connections and support one another. I recently learned that a loved one was diagnosed with a mental illness and he has been very paranoid about everything from the diagnosis itself, the thought of taking any medications but more importantly he has been concerned about what others will think of him and how he will be treated.
I guess, I am at a stage in my life where I don't see living with a mental illness as a contributing factor of my worth. This stage in the recovery process has taken many years of therapy but more important the unconditional love and acceptance that I have been lucky to have received from immediate loved ones/family has been a contributing factor.
Another factor is that it is very important for everyone to understand that living with a mental illness does not have to mean that one has to give up on life, on hopes and dreams. It does take a lot of work and sometimes it even means developing thick skin because unfortunately there are always those that lack compassion and sensitivity.
As a professional, I want you to know that I have met more people with serious challenges working helping others, when the first thing they should be doing is getting help for themselves. Kind of reminds me of "Do as I say not as I do". It's denial and I am sure you have seen this as well. The workaholic, the micromanager, the anal retentive perfectionists who is quick to make you feel worthless because they feel this way about self. Then we may have loved ones who really do not understand our condition but they should be educating themselves so they can be less judgemental and more supportive.
Just like any illness, those living with one need to know they are still loved, respected, worthy, intelligent, creative, and can still be major contributor's to their families and communities.
If you have time, google famous people with mental illnesses and you will be surprised how many people live with illnesses and lived and/or live wonderful lives in addition to struggling.
I know how it feels to be frowned at, talked about, lied about, and made to feel totally stigmatized by a label. I am at a different place today and I am grateful for this. Today, I believe that people who judge what they are unaware of or are even indignant towards others sometimes act foolishly because they have their own issues and the difference is that I am dedicated to my well being. There is no time for denial. It does not matter what the label is.
If something ails you, please get help, educate yourself, educate your loved ones, know your rights and always keep in mind...................You Are Not Alone!
Let's try to have a blessed year, be better people and first and foremost take care of ourselves (we deserve all of the blessings coming our way).
Best,

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Mental Health Support Group.

People who care for those having mental illness have a lot on their plate. They too need affection. Mental health professionals need to give adequate information and support to the care givers.

REPLY
@drashok

People who care for those having mental illness have a lot on their plate. They too need affection. Mental health professionals need to give adequate information and support to the care givers.

Jump to this post

I totally agree. There are support groups and providers can also get their own counseling to learn how to better cope.

REPLY
@roxie43

Hi,
I totally agree that persons with disabilities can do anything. I have a masters degree and a full-time job. In 20 years, I became incapacitated once but that does not mean living with an illness that I did not cause is easy. Some may use an illness as a crutch, some may truly be incapacitated a lot of the time and some may be in the early stages of their illness and acceptance can take time. I have met some wonderful people with chronic mental illnesses who have high IQ's, are artistic, educated, employed, in healthy relations and have loving and supportive families, friends and communities.
I have also met wonderful people who are so ill that it consumes them. As a consumer and an employee I am able to see both sides and I still believe unconditional love and acceptance are important components in the recovery process.
It makes a big difference to know one is loved and accepted regardless of a diagnosis. I have witnessed how powerful it can be but I also know it can be draining. I am one woman with one outlook from the inside and outside but I am so happy my post has generated discussion because it is a wonderful way for all of us to become more aware of others experiences and thoughts.
Thank you so much for your post....Rox

Jump to this post

Thank You. I also get a lot out of hearing your stories and it also reminds me that I too am not alone. It's a nice support system for all of us.
Take Care,

REPLY
@savanti

Hi, one of the biggest problems people have once they are told of their mental illness, they use it as a crutch, which allows them to use their condition when they want or to take advantage of certain situations or to say what ever they want and you have to accept it. Just because a person has a condition doesn't mean they are disabled or not intelligent in any way. They can accomplish what ever they put their mind to, the sad part is a doctor told them they have a condition and now they become so fixed on it, it begins to be a big part of their life. >I stepped up to the base and took on helping a 40 year old living with ocd, bipolar, severe depression, and living with paranoid schidzophrenia to the point I would find him hiding in the pantry to advoid being detected by the government with their heat sensors. He couldn't afford his medications at a cost of a $1000 a month, so, this guy was a wreck. Four months later, his boss(employer) asked him "Wayne are you back on your medication?" Wayne said no, Rusty has been helping me. By the way he was dianosed with ocd and bipolar in high school.
The brain is a very powerful tool once a person can control their thoughts. How does a person control their thoughts? By being selective of their thoughts. Its very important to know what the future looks like, its very important to prepare things today to make tomorrow easier, its very important to address issues with a positive attitude the same way a child is taught, plan tomorrow by illiminating any situation which may create stress,(remember when a person has too many little stresses, they can feel like one big one) write down everything you do in a day and do it again the next day like a journal, what you will see after a couple of months are paterns which are habits.
What I learned about people in generalthey are creatures of habits. when aperson has a mental condition this type of living allows the person to spend most of their time reliving the past or their looking to the future with very little hope. So, my advice to shake things up before more habits are developed. Habits allows you to eat, clean, watch tv, listen to a conversation, drive, and while doing these things be able to think about non-productive things like "I can do anything, I have a mental condition, I don't feel good, I this and I that. But, when a person is faced with new things to do each day, they havn't time to get lost on their petty trip.
I gave Wayne so many new things to think about he didn't have time to look back or to think about himself. I'm talking about a man who has been living with mental illnesses for over 20 years and here he was without medication and getting better with each day.
A person can chose to stay in their world or they can say If, I don't change my way of thinking I will not have a future. A person with any kind of mental illness has the ability to make decisions about their future. Looking back on yesterday only means tomorrow will be like today.

Jump to this post

Not everyone, depending on diagnosis, can control there thoughts. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can be very good in helping change negative thought patterns but this is not done in a day. This is one reason I added this specific post. Mental illness, means mental illness and no one in their right mind chooses to remain ill. There are many contributing factors; psychotic, trauma, delusional, drugs, etc. What one person can do with ease takes a lot of effort to another. No one size fits all mentality. Care has to be individualized.

REPLY

It is heartbreaking when one hears that a former partner is ill again but refuses to accept treatment and does not comply with doctors treatment plan. This person put me through the ringer but no matter what I have been supportive because I cannot be a hypocrite. Today is a good day for me and a day of suffering for a friend so its bittersweet. Regardless of the past I cannot wish suffering on anyone.
That's the distinct difference between some and I.
Every human being deserves respect especially people who are in emotional pain.
May God bless him today and always......

REPLY

Please read Piglits post on my stigma and mental illness discussion! Her post is a perfect example of how powerful being good to one another is. She shared a story about a man named Mark. We all should learn a valuable lesson from this experience.
Have a blessed day,
Rox

REPLY
@roxie43

Please read Piglits post on my stigma and mental illness discussion! Her post is a perfect example of how powerful being good to one another is. She shared a story about a man named Mark. We all should learn a valuable lesson from this experience.
Have a blessed day,
Rox

Jump to this post

There is a loved one that I wish I could be more supportive to. An ex and it's difficult due to denial which makes this so difficult because you can't be supportive to a person who does not even accept treatment
I still pray for him.

REPLY

I have to practice what I preach. It can be so stressful when someone we care about is in denial. I often feel like I'm doing more, caring more and stressing myself out, which I really don't need, just to ensure this person is well.
Unconditional love and support is not always easy, I know, but it is a wonderful feeling to know that someone worse off always feels supported. By no means easy, but God knows that making another human being feel cared for goes a long way as long as we are not jeopardizing our own health and well being.
Lesson: be good to other's but make sure you're not neglecting your own needs.
Have a blessed evening
Rox

REPLY

From my public and private discussions on this post I have been made aware that unconditional support can be very draining and stressful.
By no means put your own well being at risk. Individual's who care for loved ones should definitely be getting their own support and respite so burn out and resentment does not occur.
We cannot help others if we to have unresolved or new challenges.
Please take good care of yourselves.
Rox

REPLY
@roxie43

Please read Piglits post on my stigma and mental illness discussion! Her post is a perfect example of how powerful being good to one another is. She shared a story about a man named Mark. We all should learn a valuable lesson from this experience.
Have a blessed day,
Rox

Jump to this post

For my well-being I had to take a step back. One thing is to be supportive but when a person is in denial support can feel alienating.
I simply said - I'm around if you need me and have decided to live my life. Not an easy thing to do but he's an adult and when and if he's ready to get help I'll be in his corner only if he wants me to.
Rox 🙁

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.