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Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?
My mother-in-law (MIL) had what was finally determined to be frontal temporal dementia. She had the disease from her 60s until she passed away at 86. My wife was especially involved in her mom's caregiving due to some serious denial in other family members and a GP who refused to diagnose, even when significant deficits were obvious (mistaking the UPS deliveryman for her husband and not knowing the difference between roads and sidewalks). The most unfortunate result of this, to me, was the lost time when my MIL and her family could have been having meaningful and important discussions about significant matters of importance to her and them.
In my wife's years of fighting her brain cancer, she, too, exhibited many of the aspects of mental degradation and physical losses one would affiliate with a dementia patient.
As an aside, for several years I worked for the national Alzheimer's Association raising money for their research programs nationwide.
I wish everyone struggling with this disease and their caregivers and families strength and peace.
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Any input as to handle the loss of intimacy with your spouse? Or do you just no longer have that?
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2 ReactionsNot sure about the sleeping at age 72; although if you really think her doctor doesn't care, then seek a change and not accept that he/she is just part of an entire group not to be trusted. I care for a 93 yr old mom w/ Alzheimers (sleeps maybe 2 hrs throughout the day when we are n ot doing exercises or she is working in a word book) and decided that once we can no longer ensure maintaining her hygeine I'd look to institutional care as they are often better equipped to handle that. Plus as someone loses their connection to you the emotiional impact of letting go for them and you can be less...Good luck.
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2 ReactionsMy situation is some different, but still the same in many ways. My wife of 64 years has serious dementia, and I am trying to learn to cope. It is not easy, as you know. This morning my wife could not find the bathroom. She complains constantly that I will not let her drive. And I am dying of several cancers, multiple myeloma, diabetes, LGMD(r2383) and other diseases. Probably this year. Anyway, no advice to give. Just know you are not alone. oldkarl
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7 ReactionsMy wife has dementia she is 70 she was told years ago by her Dr. she couldn’t drive safely anymore and luckily that’s all it took. I’m a 14 year cancer survivor and even though it’s been 14 years I still receive yearly checkups so sometimes I have to leave my wife alone. When I come home she has moved all kinds of stuff because she lonely, and we do take daily bike rides or drives in the car and she always waving or trying to talk to people.
Just because they have a dementia or any disease doesn’t mean they are better off alone even if it just watching tv
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5 ReactionsSuch a great question, @ccccc. I encourage you to start a new discussion on the topic.
In the meantime, you might also be interested in this blog post by Dr. Locke, Mayo Clinic:
- Intimacy and memory problems https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/living-with-mild-cognitive-impairment-mci/newsfeed-post/intimacy-and-memory-problems/
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1 ReactionNo it’s a hard to have a loss of intimacy especially when in the first 25 years she never said no, and when the loving turns to abuse
My wife is now at the point she can not remember small details. Such as recognizing a flashlight, or a blanket. I am now doing most of the cooking and housecleaning. Every time something is moved, she swears it has been stolen by one of the offspring who came to visit. She is nearly blind, and mistakes a garage for a motor home. It is hard. We are both 83, and I have many cancers and other issues. oldkarl
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5 ReactionsMy husband hasn’t been diagnosed with anything yet, but I can relate to others not seeing his memory issues. Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don’t. I know they don’t think we are lying, but it is frustrating that they don’t get it. Are there prescriptions that help slow the progression of dementia?
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1 ReactionAricept 5mg helped my husband for a year and was slowing benefits but after an increase to 10mg there was another significant improvement
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2 ReactionsThanks @boppie! Did Mayo diagnose your husband? How did they determine his diagnosis?