How about a laugh, (hopefully)

"Doctor, my memory is improving,"

"That is good news. How do you know?'

"Not to brag, but I had just gone into another room and remembered why I went there. It was the bathroom, but still...."

The choir got on the roller coaster.

Then they screamed in harmony.

An Elderly Married Couple Went for a Check-Up Together

A health-conscious aged couple decided they would go for their annual medical checkup before embarking on a trip to see their kids, so they booked an appointment for the same day.
On the day of the examination, they got to the hospital, and the doctor checked them one after the other. Once he finished with the man, he took him to the side and informed him that he was in excellent health.
The doctor asked the man if he had any other medical conditions he would like to discuss before the appointment was over, and he answered:
"In fact, I do. After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
The doctor found his comment strange and interesting and assured the man that he would research the condition and get back to him. He then went in and examined the woman.
After her examination, he informed her that she was in great shape and asked if she had any medical conditions to discuss with him. The woman replied that she had no concerns or questions, and then the doctor told her about her husband's condition.
He asked her if she knew anything that might be causing it.
The woman scoffed and rolled her eyes before answering the doctor, saying:
"Oh, that old buzzard! That's because the first time is usually in July, and the second time is usually in December."

A young man walked into a drug store and told the pharmacist he needed some condoms for his date. The pharmacist said “Well, here we have the High School special. It’s a 3 pack: one for Friday, one for Saturday, & one for Sunday.”
He then picked up another pack and said “This is the College special. It has 7 condoms: one for Monday, one for Tuesday, one for Wednesday….”
The pharmacist then said “If you need more than that, we have the Married Couple special. This pack has 12 condoms!!! One for January, one for February, one for March……”

If Rod Serling were to introduce an episode of The Twilight Zone today, he might say:

"Imagine a world where You Tube, Twitter, and Facebook merge to become You Twit Face".

You Twit Face--- TREmendous! Thanks!!

3 days since the last funny post! You slackers!
Where is everybody?
I guess I'll have to go to "You Twit Face" for some companionship and relief from my medicare selection exertions...
No, I'll be insufferable and share a story about my child!

Way back when, I was teaching my daughter to say the "Hail Mary," a Roman Catholic prayer that includes the line, "Blessed art thou among women."
My daughter said, "Blessed are towels among women..." Made sense to me.

Here's another one:
My brother and his family hosted a Japanese exchange student by the name of Koh'-sue-way. My daughter called her "Clothes away." Made sense to me.

You guys better get on the job and post something that is actually funny, or I'll tell more anecdotes like those above...

Seriously, though, I hope that everyone is safe and sound and is feeling as well as possible. : )

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics!

~~~~~

My teachers told me I’d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much.

I told them, “Just you wait!

@annewoodmayo

Sister asked the class if they knew the name of Jesus' mother. One girl replied Mary. She asked if anyone knew the name of Jesus's father. One boy yelled out Verge. Verge?
said sister...where did that come from?
Well, he said, they're always talking about Verge 'n Mary.

You're welcome to all the catholics

FL Mary

"Doctor, my exercise program is working out great!"

"That's what I prescribed. Please give me the details."

"I place a concrete block on the floor. I walk around it two times. I sit down and relax."

"And that's it?"

"I've just walked around the block twice."