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How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?
Most medical professionals are the greatest people in the world bc they choose work that helps humanity. (Or animals) But sometimes people with serious problems qualify for Medical licenses. They have a different face towards their peers who they seek acceptance from than they often have to their patients behind closed doors when they don't truly value patients as people. I had the misfortune of just concluding a year with an abuser.
This doctor was an independent PCP + based in an office without oversight, which is not unusual. I'm a single Senior woman. I was stricken w COVID twice+ then signed in with him for treatment of many debilitating unresolved symptoms. He looked good on paper in terms of credentials. He had openings and I needed a PCP.
He had an initial interest in deciphering my symptoms. Blood panels were perfect. He ordered an MRI to rule out a stroke bc of what was PASC but which he didn't acknowledge. The imaging revealed a meningioma brain tumor. However, the local neurosurgeon and 2 Top Ten specials indicated it was benign but untreatable for various reasons, but with the good news was that it was asymptomatic + not the cause of my symptoms. Repeated MRI showed no changes. It is expected to never become a problem. I am simply on tumor watch.
I moved to N Carolina after a lifetime on the other side of the country, just months before COVID arrived. Prior, I had decades long warm+ wonderful relationships with my doctors, who honestly never were wrong. They were just that good. But I didn't have any serious problems to require ongoing care for anything other than a disc injury that I recovered from without surgery. So I expected to continue on my same course after moving.
This PCP has real Dark Triad + sadistic pathologies. He began a campaign of doom for me, rejecting all above neuro reports+ hammering his view that my life was going downhill without any form of help. He rejected any other diagnosis like Post COVID. He was verbally+ emotionally abusive unlike anyone ever spoke to me. When I brought in a wrong form he called me by phone and said my mistake "WAS UNACCEPTABLE!" in a tone like 'BAD DOG!" He often sat w his back to me+ never look at me during visits, after. He's a large man+ his contempt+ arrogance were palpable. I have trauma from previous crime. I gave him a LEO phone number to call at their request + he refused, blasting me for a " conspiracy theory" + mandated that I may never mention it again. It was horrible. I posted here Nov I wanted to change Drs. Never got to. This guy began harassment by not reordering my 1 medication I take for several symptoms which also suppresses potential seizures tho he got multiple requests. He let the Rx run out over Thanksgiving then approaching Xmas. He saw me the day before Christmas Eve. I had not a full dose of meds for days. I said to him - he wasnt treating me for anything, I had no care plan + why couldn't be just refill my Rx in time. I had an deep infection beginning on my sternum + my BP standing was dropping to 70/30, at home, which he never took standing, after he walked in exam room.
He became infuriated! Cold controlled rage + contempt. He said, "We're done here, right now. You'll get a letter." Punctuated w his forefinger tapping the table. Shocked but ill, I asked to be transferred to another of the 20 Drs in the building+ he said absolutely not, that he won't allow me to be seen there. He said with dripping contemptuous sarcasm "Good luck finding another Dr. " I then told him he failed as a Dr much more. He was 100% statue like + non responsive to everything. We had a below zero rare freeze alert pending that night then Xmas long holiday. He renewed Rx but pharmacy was out of stock. I went back+ did get some but I ended up having my first seizure as soon as I could get home. Without timely care for the bacterial infection, it spread fast. In days when services reopened I needed office surgery + now I've been told I need thoracic surgery under general anesthesia to complete the tx. Dr said had I been treated timely none of this would have developed Lost my (minor PT) job bc I couldnt work. Was on antibiotics for a month w side effects. Biggest ending: He excoriated me in his final medical records, creating false impressions and distorted content. A vile smear job. Just FYI, my career was as an RN Specialist at the very top internationally recognized hospitals. I never mentioned this to him until he terminated me with callous disregard for my welfare, since I'm retired. He never asked about me. But I confronted him as a dangerous doctor. He was totally stunned. But caught. Dr E is not typical. But it does happen. It happened to me. He intended to extend his abusive reach into my future healthcare via medical records. But I'm blocking them + silencing his evil voice.
This is surely an anomaly. But it does happen to innocent patients behind closed doors of licensed medical professionals who are of the Dark Triad personality disorder w sadistic enjoyments.
I got a much needed cardiology consult on my own w problems identity, + under tx. I connected w someone for Post COVID tx + it's helping
These are all basic txs I could've had a yr ago.
Chest surgery is hopefully going to be easy. The surgeon is highly respected + known to be kind.
That's my nightmare story.
Any support would be appreciated. I'm still shaken by this. But moving forward.
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Now that you mentioned a 15 minute maximum visit with patients it has been clearly obvious that this has snuck up on me.
I noticed that a 15 minute visit has been happening to me. Lately I’ve become aware of this 15 minute “rule “
I see his nurse or staff member (she wears no tag so I don’t know her title.)
She weighs me, takes my vitals and says “the doctor will be right with you “
He does come in but he’s in a hurry to say my vitals are good and “how you doing?
Then he rushes out the exam room door and his “NURSE or CNA comes back and gives me the flu shot if I am due for one. She opens the door and points out where the receptionist was in order to make another appointment in six months with the receptionist.
That’s it! I have no time to express my concerns to him. He’s with his other patients. This makes me angry as I might as well stayed home. Attempts to get him to discuss an issue I am concerned about is moot like my microphone is muted while I’m speaking.
I also noticed no more routine yearly physical exams anymore. I haven’t had one in years! Makes me angry that my insurance company pays him so much for services he doesn’t provide. Everything is now a code system that the average person doesn’t understand.
All my doctors do this. My cardiologist has 9 offices! How much time does he spend with his patients? My cardiovascular surgeon laughs at my questions regarding my aortic aneurysm with a tear in it . It is at 3 cm but it is torn. His advice is “see you next year!” He seemed annoyed and acted like it by rushing me with my time with him “ could it burst? He said it could but “We have ways to deal with that”. I thought a burst aneurysm was usually fatal. What a scary thought if I’m walking down the street and collapsed? How would people know what’s happening to me?
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6 ReactionsAndytheman, I relate to you completely, I’m endlessly stressed about my doctor who’s been treating me like a stranger.. I’ve been with him for 23 years now and I haven’t had an office visit in 3 years, everything is by phone..they offer 10 min. appointments but I haven’t had one. In 2020 I got a cancer diagnosis and he referred me to a surgeon who is also a disgrace to his profession…he preformed well in the operating room but he has zero manners and says profound things that scares me. So long story short, what can I do about it…apparently not too much, I will keep trying to get help for myself and and pray for some resolution other than dying from neglect. I’ve always been a survivor and I try not to lose hope, sometimes reading all the things that go on with other people gives me some help that I’m not alone but sadly I can only get some hope from comfort in numbers.
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4 ReactionsThe emotional abandonment by your long time Dr is a wound of the heart that you never expected. I'm SO sorry that happened when you needed him most. That's a very real and personal wound. You deserved better. And I pray your cancer is healed, if not by man, then by God. There are many truly excellent You Tube comforting +calming spiritual videos. Type in your faith + you'll have a banquet of choices. That's how I fall asleep many nights. That's another available layer of rich help.
Life is different in these years than we expected. We can have each other on near global forums like Connect here. May God be with you in extraordinary closeness with comfort.
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5 ReactionsAbsolutely a second opinion is like a slap in the face to them. Like they are perfect. They are PRACTICING medicine. If anyone has a good doctor don't let him go.
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1 ReactionGood for you ! I am a teacher, and have no difficulty with speaking out for others. Speaking out on my own behalf is much harder. In my case, I was lucky that a friend was with me when he exercised his sarcasm again. When he was out of the room she turned to me & said”are you comfortable with letting him speak to you that way?” When the dr returned he soon made another sarcastic comment . And this time I was prepared “Please don’t ever speak to me like that. You owe me some courtesy” he looked at me with astonishment and changed his tone. Important. to speak loudly if you try this. Good luck! Esther
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8 ReactionsI live in an assisted living facility and we have cams on the ceiling and a few wall mounted cameras.
The only places our laws don’t allow cameras is in bathrooms and bedrooms. Cams are essential in a place like where I live. Residents swinging their canes at other people are not uncommon. Sometimes people get hurt by aggressive residents hitting someone else
We have a rule that if you hit someone you are automatically given a 30 day order to vacate. You can have a loud profanity laced argument with another resident but if you intentionally strike another resident, you’re out and if your 30 days are up and you refuse to leave you’re considered a trespasser and the police will be called and escort you out.
This is for the safety of staff and residents. The cameras are a godsend. Just as if you think nobody can see you, the cameras can and residents know their are cameras in all the common areas so the advantage of having them is good to maintain peace.
The administrator lives a few miles away but every camera is viewable on her computer at all times.
We just had a resident kick the laundry room door in and splintered it whole thing. He denied doing it but the camera caught him doing it so he had no answer to give them
Residents are now allowed in the laundry room but he would go in there to grab new sheets of pillow cases daily so they locked the door but he smashed the door jam and was caught and he had to pay for the repairs out of his social security check.
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1 ReactionI failed to mention that my Doctor’s office has a portal where I can ask questions. His nurse responds to the concerns I may have, not the doctor. I’m assuming she talks to him and he tells her what he needs or just says to come in to see me in 3 weeks!
He charges my insurance company for that response message just like a Telehealth appointment.
But it’s a portal that holds my entire health records, hospital stays, diagnosis, doctor notes, test results, list of medications and upcoming appointments etc…
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1 ReactionHi Mike. Just FYI, Canada + the USA have different health care delivery system models. They create different problems. The end problems make look similar but the causes are different. And the options for alternatives+ help are different.
We're people forging our way through problems in our individual healthcare experience and reaching out here to one another as we problem-solve.
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4 ReactionsHi, everyone, I think we’re focusing too much on what’s wrong in healthcare instead of what’s good. We’ll get ourselves “down in the dumps” if we focus on the negative too much.
So, what are some ways we can make a doctor visit more positive? What are some good examples of what has worked for you?
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5 ReactionsThanks Becky. Right idea.
I think being on time is critical. And being organized in your mind as to what you want the Dr to address so you can get you the point faster. Time is such a premium now. It's also good to have a list of what has improved or resolved since your last visit to update the Provider. I think that sets a good starting note.
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