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How do You Deal with Dangerous Doctor, Abusive Provider? Tips?
Most medical professionals are the greatest people in the world bc they choose work that helps humanity. (Or animals) But sometimes people with serious problems qualify for Medical licenses. They have a different face towards their peers who they seek acceptance from than they often have to their patients behind closed doors when they don't truly value patients as people. I had the misfortune of just concluding a year with an abuser.
This doctor was an independent PCP + based in an office without oversight, which is not unusual. I'm a single Senior woman. I was stricken w COVID twice+ then signed in with him for treatment of many debilitating unresolved symptoms. He looked good on paper in terms of credentials. He had openings and I needed a PCP.
He had an initial interest in deciphering my symptoms. Blood panels were perfect. He ordered an MRI to rule out a stroke bc of what was PASC but which he didn't acknowledge. The imaging revealed a meningioma brain tumor. However, the local neurosurgeon and 2 Top Ten specials indicated it was benign but untreatable for various reasons, but with the good news was that it was asymptomatic + not the cause of my symptoms. Repeated MRI showed no changes. It is expected to never become a problem. I am simply on tumor watch.
I moved to N Carolina after a lifetime on the other side of the country, just months before COVID arrived. Prior, I had decades long warm+ wonderful relationships with my doctors, who honestly never were wrong. They were just that good. But I didn't have any serious problems to require ongoing care for anything other than a disc injury that I recovered from without surgery. So I expected to continue on my same course after moving.
This PCP has real Dark Triad + sadistic pathologies. He began a campaign of doom for me, rejecting all above neuro reports+ hammering his view that my life was going downhill without any form of help. He rejected any other diagnosis like Post COVID. He was verbally+ emotionally abusive unlike anyone ever spoke to me. When I brought in a wrong form he called me by phone and said my mistake "WAS UNACCEPTABLE!" in a tone like 'BAD DOG!" He often sat w his back to me+ never look at me during visits, after. He's a large man+ his contempt+ arrogance were palpable. I have trauma from previous crime. I gave him a LEO phone number to call at their request + he refused, blasting me for a " conspiracy theory" + mandated that I may never mention it again. It was horrible. I posted here Nov I wanted to change Drs. Never got to. This guy began harassment by not reordering my 1 medication I take for several symptoms which also suppresses potential seizures tho he got multiple requests. He let the Rx run out over Thanksgiving then approaching Xmas. He saw me the day before Christmas Eve. I had not a full dose of meds for days. I said to him - he wasnt treating me for anything, I had no care plan + why couldn't be just refill my Rx in time. I had an deep infection beginning on my sternum + my BP standing was dropping to 70/30, at home, which he never took standing, after he walked in exam room.
He became infuriated! Cold controlled rage + contempt. He said, "We're done here, right now. You'll get a letter." Punctuated w his forefinger tapping the table. Shocked but ill, I asked to be transferred to another of the 20 Drs in the building+ he said absolutely not, that he won't allow me to be seen there. He said with dripping contemptuous sarcasm "Good luck finding another Dr. " I then told him he failed as a Dr much more. He was 100% statue like + non responsive to everything. We had a below zero rare freeze alert pending that night then Xmas long holiday. He renewed Rx but pharmacy was out of stock. I went back+ did get some but I ended up having my first seizure as soon as I could get home. Without timely care for the bacterial infection, it spread fast. In days when services reopened I needed office surgery + now I've been told I need thoracic surgery under general anesthesia to complete the tx. Dr said had I been treated timely none of this would have developed Lost my (minor PT) job bc I couldnt work. Was on antibiotics for a month w side effects. Biggest ending: He excoriated me in his final medical records, creating false impressions and distorted content. A vile smear job. Just FYI, my career was as an RN Specialist at the very top internationally recognized hospitals. I never mentioned this to him until he terminated me with callous disregard for my welfare, since I'm retired. He never asked about me. But I confronted him as a dangerous doctor. He was totally stunned. But caught. Dr E is not typical. But it does happen. It happened to me. He intended to extend his abusive reach into my future healthcare via medical records. But I'm blocking them + silencing his evil voice.
This is surely an anomaly. But it does happen to innocent patients behind closed doors of licensed medical professionals who are of the Dark Triad personality disorder w sadistic enjoyments.
I got a much needed cardiology consult on my own w problems identity, + under tx. I connected w someone for Post COVID tx + it's helping
These are all basic txs I could've had a yr ago.
Chest surgery is hopefully going to be easy. The surgeon is highly respected + known to be kind.
That's my nightmare story.
Any support would be appreciated. I'm still shaken by this. But moving forward.
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Debbie,
I like your spirit of being positive! The technology slant is really interesting.
I would suggest that a huge problem with our medical system is that the doctors are overworked. I am a bit biased because I have relatives who are in the medical field.
In my area, many doctors have been forced into joining large, for-profit networks. These networks expect doctors, especially primary care doctors, to spend 15 minutes with a patient.
The networks demand that the doctors make reports within unreasonable time frames and to post in the patient portal.
We are losing good, older doctors with so much experience because of the technology demands-- in addition to the other pressures.
A for-profit business model has taken over medicine, and it does NOT belong in medicine.
On a side note, the same for-profit business model is currently undermining higher education.
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3 ReactionsI agree with you. The problem specifically as I see is that corporations have bought much of the medical industry - and they are running it like a manufacturing business. And the USG has stepped and imposed their own ill-conceived dictates in several areas as well. We have many more people in the US today than 40 yrs ago and our health care delivery system was never designed to accommodate everyone. And still isn't.
There are still academic medical centers across the country which are not corporate owned and receive govt funding bc they do research and can afford to properly attend to patients. But that's the exceptional situation, not there situation across the country where most people go for the their care.
Be this as it may, it doesn't take extra time to just be kind and caring with people. Even if you only have 15 mins.
Even if you feel you can't help them. Yes many very skilled experienced Drs + RN's are unwilling to continue their careers as long as they originally intended to bc of the new corporate nature of the professions today. There were a number lost bc they refused the COVID vaccine. The medical industry has been somewhat hijacked. But Drs have a strong lobby+ access to power. They can solve these problems as a group of they want to. We as patients can't. So we are in the worst dilemma.
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1 ReactionWell,
After several calls I got my main hospital report including my diagnosis and X-ray reports and Ct scans. Reading the report I finally got an answer on my aortic aneurysm.
It’s 3cm and has a tear on it. An aneurysm has to be 5 cm before surgery is contemplated but what about a rip ? Does that qualify it for surgery.
My cardiovascular surgeon blew me off and seemed annoyed with me. Second opinion needed?
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2 ReactionsMy husband was diagnosed with multiple myloma. Treated with Revlamed, I'm sure my spelling is off but hopefully u get what I'm saying. Also dethamethasone, that is way off he was treated for several years. WELL GUESS WHAT HE NEVER HAD CANCER HE HAD PARKINSON'S. Every time I asked questions they switched him to a different doctor. 5 doctors in all. This my friends us why I will not go for my supposed blood cancer. The doctor I was being sent to was one my husband had with a ^%##%^^%##%&>*;
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3 ReactionsMy heart goes out to you. They are no words that fit the dimensionality of your husband's+ you life experience from that. I can understand your reluctance to go to the same Dr or medical group. I hope your husband finally got appropriate+ quality care for his true diagnosis. I hope you have alternatives for obtaining different healthcare services for confirming or invalidating your own diagnosis. I hope you can find alternative medical services to treat you if you do have a serious medical problem. I'm sure it's very hard for to trust anyone. But I encourage you to at least make an effort to get opinions from Drs who are unassociated from the one who failed your husband + who are highly regarded. My heart is heavy for the devastation your husband+ you have suffered, and continue to be effected by. I'm sure you'll have several responses here that will support+ guide in making decisions and carrying on after the major failure.
🙏💔🕊️
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2 ReactionsGlad you got your medical info. If you don't trust your Dr's opinion, then fell free to get a second opinion. Or you can directly ask your current Dr that question. "What about the tear? Am I at risk for a medical emergency?" Maybe he'll share his reason for not operating.
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1 ReactionIf I mention it to my PCP he will tell me that my cardiovascular surgeon would know and that I should go by what he said.
He would not address it except to send me back to the annoyed surgeon so what I’m going to have to do is go to someone who doesn’t know me and go from there.
I went to one ER for an unrelated matter and they felt that I needed emergency surgery according to the CT scan results.
They thought enough that they had to send me to a trauma hospital for emergency surgery.
when I got there they verified the torn aneurysm and stated that I would need to come back to the hospital as it isn’t presently bleeding so they didn’t think I needed immediate treatment and said that I was stable enough to be discharged but they said to contact my jerky cardiovascular surgeon ASAP.
My cardiovascular surgeon said that “hospitals always say that. He was annoyed it was obvious and he actually laughed and said “see you next year!” and he walked out of the exam room.
Before he left I asked him if it could burst and he said that it could “but we have ways to deal with that “. What? Pick me off the ground dead? I’m exaggerating but it tends to be a fatal event if it bursts! How would anyone know what happened to me?
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1 ReactionVERY good idea!!!!
The fact that you feel so unsettled about whether your life is in danger or not is cause enough to get an opinion to settle it. Just do it. You have no peace. That's not a quality of life.
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1 ReactionOk. You’re right. Maybe I don’t have to worry as it may be too small but I want to know. Some say an aneurysm is not enough for surgery if it’s 5cm or more but that is only for an aneurysm that hasn’t torn. My is 3cm and torn. Time to grab the bull by the horns!
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